Page 43 of Shattered Dreams

Dad’s in DC or he’d be attending the fundraiser tonight. I told him I need to speak to him when he comes back to KC. He knows I know about the weapons and him working with the Blacks. I seriously don’t understand how he knows. He knows I’m seeing Zarah. He knows I’m in love with her and that I don’t care what he thinks. I’ll see this through, even if it means turning in my own father for illegal activity.

Right now it’s early, the sun hasn’t risen yet, and I’m sitting in Zarah’s room watching her sleep. I’m too anxious to go back to bed—my blood’s fizzing. She looks so peaceful, so innocent. I’m going to take a leave of absence and ask her if she’ll go away with me while things settle down. It doesn’t feel safe to be in the city right now.

In my letter to Gage, I asked him to protect her if something happens to me. I hope he will, but he doesn’t have patience for the upper-class. It’s why he’s never liked me. I hope he can see through Zarah’s money and status to the person she is under the billions.

And, if nothing happens, if nothing goes south like I feel it will, I’m going to ask him to be my best man.

I need to try harder to have him in my life. Zarah’s love and her years locked away at QM have taught me time is precious and Gage and I have wasted too much.

Wish me luck.

On the drive out to Zarah’s, Max’s words loop in my head...and in my heart. Zane and Stella are still in the city, and we’ll have the house to ourselves, except for Lucille who’s always puttering in the kitchen forcing cookies down my throat like a well-meaning grandmother. I’m looking forward to a moonlit walk in the woods with the dogs, the simple time with Zarah my most favorite—besides the time we spend in bed, of course.

I didn’t bring a bag, my mother’s warning echoing in my head like I’m still a little kid. It will be nice to get Max’s apartment sorted out, and I’m grateful to have the help. It will disappoint Zarah that I held firm in my decision not to spend the night, but if she wakes up, dresses, Douglas drives her to the airport, and Zane and Stella meet her there to see her onto the plane, she’ll feel like she’s in control of herself and we won’t have any teary goodbyes.

Baby lets out a yip when I turn onto the long drive that leads to Zarah’s mini-mansion, and she’s scrambling out the door practically before I can put my truck into Park. I never did go through with my plan to trade it in, and Jerricka’s disgusting accusation I’m dating Zarah for her money still rubs me raw.

I hate that woman, and somehow, I’m taking her down.

Zarah’s waiting wearing jeans and a copper-colored sweater, her hair swinging around her shoulders. “Hey,” she says, smiling too brightly.

I know her. She’s already sad.

“Hey, you,” I say, throwing my arm around her neck and pressing a kiss to the top of her head like I would a little sister. “You look pretty.”

“Thanks. I took a nap. Are you hungry? Lucille made—”

“Nope. Baby’s looking forward to playing outside.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe dessert when we come back?” she asks hopefully.

I cuddle her to me and brush my lips over hers. “The kind of dessert we eat? Sure. The kind without our clothes on? I’m not going to have time. My mom’s helping me early tomorrow, and I promised her I wouldn’t be late.”

“I guess I need to be a grownup, huh?” she says, her brown eyes liquid like a dark cup of coffee.

“It’s what you wanted,” I remind her as she shoves her boots on and calls the dogs.

Arya and Sansa zoom out the front door and trounce through the snow, Baby following as fast as she can.

The sun set hours ago, and the sky is clear, stars dotting the expansive black. It’s not that cold, but we need hats and mittens, and our boots help us trudge through the drifts.

“I didn’t think it would be so hard,” she says, putting her hand in mine. It doesn’t last long. She waves her arms around for balance, and I grab her shoulders to steady her.

“Growing upishard. It must be worse for you without your parents to look up to. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have Pop. Sometimes I still feel like he’s smarter than me.”

“Zane had to grow up fast. There’s nothing he doesn’t know, but I hate bothering him and I try not to ask him a million things all the time. I talk to Stella a lot.”

“You can come to me too, for anything you need, I mean that.”

She smiles, her eyes crinkling. “I know.”

The dogs scamper through the snow, startling the squirrels. It’s beautiful out here, quiet. We’re so far from the highway, the sound of traffic doesn’t carry to us. It’s just Zarah and me, our breathing, our boots crunching through the snow.

“Have you found out any more about who killed Ingrid?” she asks, holding on to my arm to keep from falling into the drifts. We try to follow the dogs’ trail, but they don’t leave much of a path.

“Pop and I found a watch at the homicide scene. Pop traced it to a Dr. Stephen Mallory.”

She looks up at me. “The dementia doctor at Quiet Meadows.”

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