Page 87 of Shattered Dreams

“What?” Zane flinches. “I’m sorry.”

“We’re all to blame, okay? She wanted to do things on her own, make decisions on her own, and we tried to let her. We should have been more involved, but we can’t do anything about that now. Banks is downstairs in his room. Let’s tell him what weknow and go get her. If what Gage says is true, Rourke was one of her jobs, and he has her. She’s not safe.”

That’s not what I said, but my gut twists. That’s what I meant. There’s only one man behind all of this, and according to Ash Black, he was waiting for Zarah at the Lyndhurst the night Ash took Stella. It’s no wonder he was so against Max and Zarah being in a relationship. How would it feel to have raped the woman your son is in love with?

Stella and Zane stand from the couch, and he holds her and buries his face in her hair. He does that a lot, when he needs to find strength.

I sit, my body feeling like lead. “I can’t go with you.”

Zane lifts his head. “Why not?”

“Rourke’s my stepfather. My brother’s father. He’s married to my mom.” I swallow a sob. “He raped Zarah and paid Ash to do it. I can’t...she won’t want...” She’s not going to want to look at me. Be near me. Let me touch her. Rourke is part of my family, and he did that to her. “I should go.” I don’t know where, but I need to get out of here.

Baby rubs against my leg. She always knows when I’m hurting.

Stella sighs and says, “You should let her decide. Help us find her, then let her decide. Be brave enough to hear her say it, if that’s what she wants.” She presses Zane’s hand to her lips. “We all have demons, Gage. We love, and are loved, despite them. You love her even though men used her, when she feels she’s good for nothing more than that. Let her tell you if she doesn’t want to see you anymore.”

Zane nods. “Come with us. She’ll need you.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

“No one did. Come on.”

Dressed in the clothes Stella bought, my cell in my pocket, Baby by my side, I’ve found the determination I thought I lost. I’m in this until Zarah tells me otherwise. I’m in this until she can tell me with clear eyes and a clear mind and heart she doesn’t love me.

Banks is an older guy, grooves cutting into his face. He’s dirty, hiding evidence of Lark’s and Kagan’s deaths, but for some reason, Zane trusts him. He was the FBI agent who helped find Stella and Quinn when Black tried to sell them. Maybe that was enough to exonerate him, but Zane’s more forgiving than I am.

Using the information my mother gave me, Banks needs only a second to pinpoint where Jerricka’s lake house is located. The warrant that will allow him to search Jerricka’s property comes through in a matter of minutes, and he calls the FBI field office in King’s Crossing to request backup.

He mentions a helicopter, and Zane turns the grossest shade of green I’ve ever seen, but we can’t waste four hours driving and a jet would have nowhere to land. The chopper can set down in the field on the other side of the highway from Jerricka’s house. A quick internet search told us there’s plenty of space.

Banks won’t let us leave until we tell him every detail we know. Everything from the minute Zane and Zarah’s parents were killed to the very moment we’re sitting in this hotel room. Most things he knows, but some he doesn’t, like how I became involved. He knew Max and had fond memories of working with him. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks. We weren’t close.”

That too, will be a huge regret after this is over.

I’m a bundle of nerves on the drive to the FBI’s helipad. Banks walks us through what will happen, and he’s clear he’s giving us access only because of who Zane is and their victorious takedown of the Blacks. Until proven otherwise, Zarah’s considered a hostage, and Banks and a special agent from the field office will secure Jerricka’s house. Only then will Zane, Stella, and I be allowed to enter.

That’s fine with me. Rourke put out a hit on his own son. He’d kill me without blinking, and I have too many plans to let that son of a bitch do me in.

Under different circumstances, flying in a helicopter would have been a helluva good time. I’ve never flown in one before, but I can’t enjoy the hour we spend in the air or the bird’s-eye view of King’s Crossing and the surrounding area. All I can think about is Zarah, how she’s doing and what they’re doing to her. Jerricka hasn’t had her for long, but there’s no telling the amount of damage that woman can do without interference.

Zane doesn’t look as bad as I thought he would, though he keeps flicking worried glances at Stella. It doesn’t surprise me he doesn’t want her here, but I can only imagine what Stella’s reaction would have been had Zane tried to keep her at the Crowne. I smile a little, even if it feels like betrayal.

There’s no way to take Jerricka and Rourke by surprise, if Rourke is at her lake house. We’re only assuming, and I can’t call Mom and ask if she knows where he is. The chances of her knowing his real whereabouts are slim to none, and all it would do is give her the opportunity to tip him off we’re looking for him.

For all he knows, he’s gotten away with everything.

Clayton and Ash believed it until the bitter end.

Banks is sitting next to the pilot, and he gestures out the windshield. We must be getting close. The special agent from King’s Crossing stares into space, her hair pinned into a bun, hereyebrows shaped, her makeup minimal. I wonder if Banks chose her to help Zarah feel comfortable, or if she volunteered. As Banks has proven, working with Zane Maddox is a guaranteed career bump.

She meets my eyes. “We’ll get her out of there.” Her voice is tinny but clear through the headset I’m wearing.

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