Page 80 of Shattered Dreams

It’s a thought too painful to contemplate, but I need to be prepared. I need to have a Plan B in case Zarah doesn’t want me in her life after everything goes down.

To take my mind off that, I call Pop. He sounds alert and maybe just a little too chipper for his own good.

“Did you find out anything?” he asks.

“No. Zane and I talked to Guthrie again this morning, but he didn’t have anything new to say. At least, nothing that could clue us in on where Zarah could be. I’m scared, Pop.”

“It’s going to be okay. We spoke to Jerricka, remember? She doesn’t seem like the type who would do anything violent.”

Pop wasn’t there when I confronted her, and I got a different taste of what she’s capable of. “It’s always the people who look the most innocent who end up guiltier than fuck.”

“Let’s hope in this case that isn’t true. What’s the plan?”

“If we can’t find something on our own, we can report her missing, but she left willingly, and she’s not a minor. I doubt the cops would do anything.”

“Where’s Zane?”

“He went back to the Crowne. Stella and Willow are trying to track down Jerricka’s lake house. It’s like they fell off the face of the earth.”

“I’ll do what I can, but I have to work on some of our other cases. I told the husband we had to drop his case, and I referred him out.”

I wince. In all this, I forgot we have other cases on our roster. “I’m sorry.”

“I understand Zarah’s safety comes first and I don’t want you to think I don’t care because I’m fulfilling our other clients’ contracts.”

“No, I get it. If you have to come back to the city, let Zane know. I’m sure he’d rather have Lucille at the penthouse than in the country by herself.”

“Got it. Good luck and watch yourself.”

“Yeah, you too.”

At a loss, I roll out of bed and trudge into the kitchen. My stomach is too knotted to eat anything, and I start a pot of coffee. I carry a mug up to my loft, settle into my office chair, and open my laptop. I stare at the wallpaper, a picture of Zarah sleeping in my bed. I can’t remember when I took it or how it ended up on my laptop, but I trace the delicate lines of her face and push back the tears that threaten to blind me.

This is so much worse than when Viv left me.

This is so much worse, and I didn’t ask for any of it. All I did was save Zarah from a pack of paparazzi vultures and this is the thanks I get.

A broken heart so shattered I may never fall in love with anyone else ever again.

It’s difficult to sit and do nothing when I know Zarah’s in trouble.

Restless, I go back downstairs and flop on the couch.

Baby watches me. She knows something isn’t right, and I scratch behind her ears.

I pick up my phone to call Zane, then put it down. He’ll call me if he hears any news. I could go to the office and help Pop work on some other cases, but all that would do is waste time. I’m in no mind to work on anything but finding Zarah, and until we can locate Jerricka’s lake house, we’re at a dead end.

Sipping my coffee, I try to move the pieces around, but no matter how hard I cram them together, I can’t make them fit.

Mom and I didn’t find anything in Max’s apartment that would shed any more light on things. I have to assume everything he wanted me to have he left for me to find in the roasting pan in his oven. It seems like a waste to page through his journal, and the CDs don’t have anything on them butsnippets of Rourke’s conversations that probably aren’t relevant now because I waited too long to settle Max’s estate.

But I don’t have anything else to go on, and I grab Max’s diary. I hate reading the entries where he writes about Zarah, and I skip to the front instead, to when he hadn’t teamed up with Richard Denton, Stella, and Zane, when he hadn’t met Zarah, and when I didn’t want to acknowledge his existence.

Mom invited me over for dinner tonight. She asked if I had a date, and of course I said no. I haven’t met anyone who wants to put up with my erratic schedule or my penchant for snooping where I don’t belong. She keeps asking if I want her to set me up, and it’s humiliating. I can find my own girlfriend. Maybe. It was easier in college. I wish I had Gage’s easy way, his don’t-give-a-shit attitude. He always has a girl hanging on him. Not any woman Dad would let me marry, but I’m not thinking about that right now. I’m more focused on work, building my reputation.

Speaking of that, I’m glad I went to dinner. I smell a story, but I would need more to go on than what they were talking about tonight, or maybe I’m just imagining things because Mom was acting strange all night. She kept looking at Dr. Mallory out of the corners of her eyes. At one point, they reached for the salt at the same time, and his hand brushed hers. She was so flustered, she tipped over her wineglass.

I have never seen Mom look anything less than cool and calm. His fiancée didn’t appreciate it either, Jerricka Solis.DoctorJerricka Solis, psychiatrist to the rich, the famous, and the crazy. They’re a match made in heaven, what with him treating dementia and Alzheimer’s patients. He said they’re working on a new drug, and Dad’s very interested in the results.

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