Page 52 of Shattered Dreams

Viv laughs. “Jesus. Do you say no when someone asks you that?”

“Yeah, when you’re being honest, you say no. Say you need time, or you need to talk things through first. I thought we were happy.” It’s damned difficult to keep the resentment out of my voice. The pain when she left was so sharp I can still feel it, like she walked out on me just yesterday.

“Youwere happy.”

I sigh, frustrated. “Why didn’t you tell me what happened?”

“That would have been real classy. Ryan knocks me up and splits, and I crawl back to you, puking every five seconds. I knew I hurt you. I knew you wouldn’t have taken me back.”

“Four years ago, I might have. It took me a long time to get over you.”

“Saved you some trouble then, didn’t I?” She looks away.

Lacey’s sitting in front of the old TV looking small and alone. I don’t know Viv well enough anymore to peg her as a good mother. I hope she is.

The little girl feels my eyes on her, and she jumps to her feet, a cowlick at the back of her head making her hair stand up. “You’re scary looking,” she says, eyeing my beard, “but you have a pretty dog.”

“You can pet her if you want. She likes that.”

Lacey rubs Baby’s fur, and she leans into the little girl’s hands.

Viv watches her daughter for a moment and then asks, “What do you mean, you’re having a hard time? You and Zarah Maddox. I never would have believed it if I hadn’t seen your picture onTruth or Darewith my own eyes. How did you meet?”

“My brother was part of the team that took down Black Enterprises.”

“I remember that. I’m sorry he’s gone. I liked him.”

“Thanks. He liked you too.” Maxhadliked Viv. They met at a Christmas party at Mom and Rourke’s a long time ago. “I met her when she and her brother went to his memorial service. Wegot to talking, and one thing led to another.” That’s not really how it happened, you know that, but I don’t want to get into the whole story.

Lacey drifts into the attached living room to watch more of her show, and I sit, fidgeting, turning my cup on the table. I guess I should go, but I hate leaving them like this.

“What do you do for work?” I ask, hoping I’m not insulting her and that shehasa job.

“I waitress at a diner down the street. It’s not great, but I don’t have a car. I get rental assistance and food stamps.” Heat stains her cheeks. “Ryan doesn’t pay child support. The state tried to track him down, but he went underground.”

“Do you want me to find him?”

“Won’t do any good. He probably gets paid under the table. He wasn’t happy I got pregnant and I should just be grateful he leaves us alone.”

Unfortunately, I agree. He could show up and smack them around, spend what little money she has, if that’s the type of guy he is.

“I should have stayed with you.” She sounds wistful. “You’re a good guy, Gage. Any woman would be lucky to have you. Whatever you’re going through, I left because I was stupid and didn’t know a good thing when I had it. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“You broke my heart.”

“Well, Karma’s paying me back for that.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. I can’t help but notice the sleeve of her sweater is fraying.

“Did you go to school like you wanted?”

Viv isn’t that much younger than me, but she’d never gone to college and she’d been planning to enroll in classes full-time while I paid the bills. She’d been excited, at least, I thought she’d been. It’s hard to puzzle out what was real about our relationshipand what she put on for show. Maybe I wanted her to go to school more than she’d wanted it for herself.

“No. When Lacey was a baby, she had a lot of ear infections and we were in the ER once a month for a good year. I didn’t have time to do something like that even if I could have afforded it.” She rests her arms on the table, holds one of my hands, and traces where the edge of my tattoo sleeve peeks out of my shirt cuff. “I did love you, but I was younger then, naïve, and I thought love wasn’t enough. I wanted danger and adventure. All I got was knocked up and more bills than I can pay.” She pauses. “You didn’t come back to ask me to try again.”

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t.”

She twists our fingers together, how easily they fit the way they used to. It’s amazing what the body remembers. “We were good together.”

“I thought that, until you proved me wrong.” I untangle our fingers, pull out my checkbook, and write out a check for two thousand dollars. “I want to help you, but this is all I can afford right now.” I slide the check across the table.

---