Page 51 of Shattered Dreams

Leaning against the wall, I wait for an invitation that may not come. Viv still hasn’t opened the door, and I’m starting to think she won’t, but she finally steps back.

Her cheeks flush.

I understand now. She’s embarrassed.

“Go watch your show, okay? I’ll make you lunch in a little bit.”

“Okay,” Lacey says, tentatively touching the top of Baby’s head then darting away.

I untie my boots and leave them by the door. “Can Baby come in?”

Viv flicks a glance at the dog I rescued from the shelter after she broke up with me. “No one will know.”

Baby follows me into her tiny living room, the space dreary, dark paneling leeching the sunlight trying to shine in through dirty windows.

Scents of coffee and French toast linger in a kitchen that hasn’t been updated since I was born, and Viv gestures to a scarred table that wobbles on uneven legs.

“How have you been, Viv?” I ask carefully. This isn’t how I expected to find her, and I’m suddenly walking on eggshells. I don’t want to offend her by saying the wrong thing.

She lifts a shoulder and turns to the coffeemaker. “Do you want a cup? Do you still drink it black?”

I nod.

Viv pours a mug, sets it in front of me, and sits on the remaining chair. No man lives here, then, if they don’t need a third to eat family meals. I didn’t consider she’d be single. Or a mother. Or a single mother.

I sip the coffee. Nothing remarkable about the generic brand, nothing like the rich blend Zarah served me in bed the other morning. The best of the best while women like Viv have fallen on hard times and buy whatever they can afford.

“You have a daughter.” I say the obvious for lack of anything better.

“She just turned three. She’s not yours,” she adds quickly. “If that’s why you’re here.”

“No, it’s not. Where’s her father?”

“Don’t know. He took off the second I found out I was pregnant.”

“I’m sorry.” Iamsorry. I would have treated her a helluva lot better than that.

“Don’t be. Shit happens. Why are you here, Gage?”

I remember the way she would say my name in the dark, the way she would say she loved me. Studying her face, I wonder how much of it was a lie, how much of it was real, and how much of it I pretended because I wanted to keep her.

“I...met someone, but I’m having a hard time.” I try to be honest, hoping she’s honest too. If she won’t tell me the truth, there was no point in coming here.

She scoffs. “You’re dating Zarah Maddox. Let me cry you a river.”

Straightening, I ask, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Her money doesn’t mean she has an easy life.”

She rolls her eyes, displaying a sarcasm I don’t remember her ever having. “Sure. We all have our problems.”

“Zarah’s not a part of this. I thought we were going to get married. Lacey could have been mine.” It punches me in the gut. Lacey was so close to being my kid. “You were looking for better, right? Was it my job? That I was working with Pop? It finally got to you? My apartment?” My apartment isn’t much, but I’d bet my next paycheck, no matter how small it is, that Lacey would rather live there than here.

“I didn’t care about where you lived, and I said I didn’t like you being a PI, but that was just an excuse. I wasn’t looking for better, I wanted different, and I thought I found it when I met Ryan. He said we’d get out of this shit city. He made me a lot of promises, and I believed him. I was greedy. It had nothing to do with you.”

At least she didn’t cheat on me. “If you didn’t love me, why did you say yes when I asked you to marry me?”

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