Page 47 of Shattered Dreams

Lifting a shoulder, I say, “You must have thought it was important to drive out to the airport, but it couldn’t have waited until I came back? I’ll only be gone for two weeks.”

The flight attendant places a coffee service on the table, and I help myself even though I said I didn’t want any. Holding a mug will keep my hands occupied, and they’re shaking with nerves. I’ve never been scared of Jerricka before and I’m not now, but there’s something eagle-like about her this morning, an edge that makes me uncomfortable.

Jerricka waits until she’s poured her own cup and fixes it how she likes it. A splash of cream and two packets of sugar. “I have a proposition for you.”

“Okay?”

“I’m wondering how you would feel about going away with me instead of traveling on holiday.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come with me, Zarah. I have a lake cabin at my disposal and we could spend the next two weeks working on your recovery. It’s been over a month since your last appointment, and I don’t want your progress to slide backward.”

“I was planning on seeing you after I get back.”

“I understand, but think of how wonderful this would be for you.” She grabs my hand. “You’re growing closer to Gage, and I know that you two are enjoying a very satisfying relationship. I’m happy for you, but you’re my patient and I have concerns about him abusing you—”

I jerk my hand out of her grasp. “He’s not!”

“I know you feel that way, but if we can talk about it—”

“He told me what you said,” I say, leaning away. “You told him I have sex even when I don’t want to and that he hurtsme. That has never been true, and my sex life is none of your concern.”

Shetsks.“Of course it is. You made it my business the second you opened your mouth. You’re my patient, and I care about you. Think of what we could accomplish. You want to get better, don’t you? Put the broken pieces of your mind back together? So you and Gage can one day be married? Have children? He’ll never marry you like this. You know that.”

Her words hit me hard because I do know that. It’s like she’s had a front row seat to every conversation Gage and I ever had about our future.

“I know,” I whisper.

“Then you should come with me. We can talk, go for walks, enjoy the solitude. My lake cabin is beautiful, Zarah, and we won’t be disturbed. You’re so damaged. We’ll work out what you need to be whole. What you need to be to make Gage happy. You love him...don’t you want to do everything within your power to turn yourself into the woman he deserves?”

I remember what he said last night.“I love you just the way you are, but off those drugs, you’ll be so much more.”

Gage wants me to be more. He might love me the way I am, but if I was normal, we could have a normal life.

“You don’t want to burden him, do you?” Jerricka presses.

She knows just how to needle me. “No.”

Ever since I met him, I’ve tried so hard not to need him. Tried so hard not to be an anchor around his neck dragging him down. I stare at my hands, and she covers them with hers, gold rings glinting on her fingers.

“Then come. We’ll work on what you need to do to be the woman he needs you to be. Two weeks—the amount of time you were going to be away. Instead of wasting that time doing God knows what, let’s work on your health. Let’s work on turningyour future into what it was meant to be. So Gage will keep loving you.”

I swallow and think of his kind hazel eyes, always so worried, concerned about my wellbeing. When I used Peggy’s computer, I contributed to solving some of the mystery surrounding Quiet Meadows and Gage was proud of me for taking initiative. I need to do that more. I need to invest in my future.

If I want to make Gage happy, I need to recover. That’s the only way he’ll ask me to marry him.

I haven’t worn jewelry since the day Stella slid Ash’s engagement ring off my finger, breaking his hold over me, and the only time I’ll wear anything now is when Gage asks me to marry him and promises to love me forever.

“You were weak without him. You begged him to take you back after three pathetic days, and he did, no questions asked. Thank him for that, Zarah, by working on yourself.”

Slowly, I nod. “Okay. I’ll go.”

“Good.”

I shrug into my coat and tell the flight attendant, “I won’t be needing the plane after all. Thank you.”

“Yes, Miss Maddox.”

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