Page 26 of Shattered Dreams

“I’ll miss you too, but it won’t be like when we weren’t together. Enjoy your trip and hopefully while you’re gone Zane and I can figure some shit out.”

I can’t argue and I sigh, my nose grazing his cheek as I burrow into his embrace.

“Let’s go to bed. I need to get some sleep. I can’t skip work, and Pop will want to know what happened.”

He wraps his hand tightly around mine and leads me upstairs, Baby following us. She settles in under my window, and we crawl into bed. He spoons me, and it brings back so many wonderful memories of us making love in this position. He presses against me, molding his body to mine, but he’s soft, not in the mood to make love. He’s halfway asleep before I can get comfortable.

“Do you want to make love?” I ask.

“No.” His voice is raspy and heavy with fatigue, but it has a hard edge to it. “Not after what happened tonight. When I went to talk to Jerricka, I was a wreck. I knew she had a lot to do with why you broke up with me. She said some cruel things, nasty things, about our sexual relationship, and we’re going to have to talk about what you need from me, physically, before I touch you that way again. She made me feel disgusting for wanting to make love to you, and I don’t know where her words start and your feelings stop.”

I’m angry and humiliated and I don’t know if I’m aiming those feelings at myself or at Jerricka. She turned my confiding in her against me and hurt someone I love. “She had no right to say anything.”

“She was protecting you and maybe she had good intentions, but she doesn’t like me. It stung, Zarah, and even if shewas being a bitch to get back at me because I brought her professional ethics into question, there must be some truth to what she said. I know you talk to her about me, about us, and you and I are going to have to have some honest conversations before I make love to you again.”

I turn over and search his face in the dark. His eyes are open, but his eyelids are drooping. “You’ve never hurt me.”

“She said I did, and I know I have. In the shower. I made love to you in anger that morning, and now we have to wait and see if there’s a price to pay. I’m not innocent.”

“If I’m pregnant, I’m keeping it.” I just made that choice, right now, and my voice is strong and unwavering.

“All we can do is wait. Go to sleep. You’ve had a shitty day.”

Doubt creeps in. “Do you want me to keep it?”

“If you’re pregnant and you keep it, we’re getting married.”

I snuggle into him. “Okay.”

His breathing evens out, and I lie wrapped in his arms. I’ll fix what I broke between Gage and me, and we’ll come back stronger than ever.

I hope.

CHAPTER FOUR

Gage

I’m not even fully awake, but I kiss Zarah on the forehead and roll out of her bed. It’s barely seven o’clock, but my cell phone buzzing near my ear like an annoying mosquito woke me up, and because of all the shit I have to do today, I wouldn’t have been able to go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. I have a lot on my mind, and only sheer exhaustion helped me fall asleep.

“Where are you going?” Her eyes crack open, and frown lines wrinkle the perfect skin between her eyebrows.

We hardly scratched the surface of what we need to say to each other, but I try to reassure her. “I have a lot of work to do. Go back to sleep and I’ll see you later this afternoon. We’ll eat lunch and take a nap, okay, sweetheart?”

“We’re not okay yet,” she says, her voice meek and scared.

“Do you love me, Zarah?” I ask, smoothing the hair away from her face.

“Yes.”

“Then we’re okay. To me, everything else is cake.”

She presses a kiss to my palm and closes her eyes, too tired to stay awake after what happened last night. Trust me, I would have given anything to stay in bed and wrap my body around hers, but when Zane Maddox calls, you answer, I don’t care who you are.

My truck is parked in the parking garage across the street, and the heater is barely spitting out warm air by the time I find a space in the Crowne’s crowded parking lot. The sky is a murky grey, the sun struggling behind a thick layer of clouds.

I walk through the lobby, the elegant cream and gold marble floor sparkling under a huge chandelier, and a tired-looking woman is sitting behind the reception desk. “Can I help you?”

“I’m here to see Zane Maddox.”