Page 82 of It's a Date (Again)

“I don’t understand,” I say.

He runs a hand over his face. “I’ve always been one of those people searching for the next best thing. In work, relationships, life, everything. Heck, I even order oysters anytime they’re on a menu because they’re considered the best, but I don’t even like them.”

Oysters,I think to myself. I’m reminded of the notes I found in my planner. “That’s why I wrote down oysters,” I say out loud, not meaning to.

His brows push together. “What?”

“Never mind.” I shake my head. “You were saying.”

He lets out a deep breath before he continues. “Peyton, I was engaged before, and I broke it off because I thought to myself, what if there’s someone out there who’s better for me? I know, it’s terrible. But now I know there’s not, because the best person for me has been there all along.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“The family emergency I canceled our date for.” He lowers his chin. “It was my ex-fiancée. She had a health scare, and I was still listed as her emergency contact, so the hospital called me. Just the thought of losing her ...” Shawn sighs and his eyes well up with tears. “It made me realize how much I still love her. Actually, I never stopped loving her.”

“Is she okay?” I take a small step toward him.

The tears fall but he smiles through them. “Yeah, she’s great,” he says, wiping his face. “I’m really sorry, Peyton. If I had known before, I wouldn’t have led you on. Honestly, between your accident and her health scare, it made me realize I’ve been wasting my time chasing life rather than living it.” He lowers his head. “I feel so bad to do this to you now, especially with everything you’ve been through.”

I place a hand on his shoulder. “Shawn, it’s okay. I know what it’s like to not know who your heart belongs to. It’s an awful feeling, but I’m really glad you figured it out. And I’m happy for you ... for the both of you.” Tears fall from my eyes too. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m truly happy for him, and I want what he has—clarity. I want to be so sure of the person I love that the very thought of them makes me smile and cry at the same time, just like Shawn is right now.

He stares back at me. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” I smile up at him. “If anything, you’ve helped me.”

Shawn wraps his arms around me and we hug. “I’m really sorry,” he whispers.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for being honest with me and yourself.”

When we pull apart, he’s still smiling. “I just listened to my heart for once.”

Listen to your heart.I repeat the words back in my head. They’re familiar, and this moment almost feels like déjà vu. But not entirely. Just the message, not the messenger. He takes a couple of steps back and wipes at his eyes again.

“Take care, Peyton. I hope your heart steers you right.”

We share a smile as he leaves the room, and then he’s gone, and I’m down to two boyfriends. I walk to the dresser and glance at the mirror hung above it.

“Hey,” Maya says, poking her head in. “Did Shawn just leave?”

I wipe away my smeared mascara and take in Maya’s reflection. “Yeah, he broke it off with me.”

I’m not sure I can even qualify it as a breakup since I don’t remember dating him.

“What?” Maya practically yells. “I’m gonna kick his ass.”

“It’s fine,” I say, turning to face her. “Really. It is.”

She delivers a sympathetic look and pulls me in for a hug. “He’s an idiot,” she says.

“No, he’s not. He’s just following his heart.”

“Same thing.” Maya takes a step back, surveying me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I actually think I’m a little relieved.” I let out a laugh.

“Why?”

“Because now it’s down to two, and I think Shawn was the liar, so I don’t have to worry about that now. But he wasn’t just lying to me, he was lying to himself.”

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