Page 24 of It's a Date (Again)

My eyes go wide. “What? How could you forget about a promise you made to me?” I think I’m more hurt than I am mad now. And I know I’m the one with amnesia who can’t remember anything, but what’s his excuse? He’s got a fully functioning brain.

“I didn’t think it was serious back then, and I sure as heck don’t think it’s serious now. Actually, I’m surprised you even remembered. And by that I mean before you lost all your memories.” He stares backat me almost as though he’s searching for the reason as to why I brought it up to Debbie in the first place. But the answer’s not there, and I don’t know it either.

TheWALKsignal changes, so I cross the street. Robbie trails behind but quickly catches up, walking in step with me.

“I don’t understand why you’re mad,” he says.

Me neither. But I don’t say that. I just keep walking while trying to get my thoughts and feelings straightened out. I was mad when I thought he remembered the pact and didn’t tell me. Now he says he didn’t remember the pact and ... my feelings are hurt. That must be it. How did I remember and he didn’t? Being told everything about my life is overwhelming, but not being told things is worse. I need to be able to trust the judgment of those closest to me because I can’t depend on myself right now. When I nearly pass the street my house is on, he grabs my hand and leads me in the direction of home. His hand slips away and his arms swing side to side as he keeps pace beside me, waiting for a response.

“Why are you mad?” he asks.

“Because you lied to me and you forgot about the pact, and I also think you’re lying about forgetting about the pact,” I say, pushing open the gate to the courtyard.

“What? None of that makes any sense.”

I stomp up the porch steps, through the door and up the set of carpeted stairs. He might be right. It might not make any sense, but I feel like it does. In the kitchen, I pour myself a glass of water. Robbie appears at the top of the stairs a moment later.

“It makes perfect sense,” I say. “You don’t want me to date those guys because you want to carry out the pact.” I glare at him over the rim of my water glass.

He runs his hands through his bedhead (well, couch head) hair and groans.

“That’s not true at all, Peyton. I forgot about the stupid pact. Even if I remembered it, I wouldn’t bring it up or carry it out. You and I would never be good together, trust me.”

My mouth falls open.What’s wrong with me? Or us?I snap it closed and pull my chin in. I’m kinda hurt. How does he know we wouldn’t be good together? And why is he so sure of that? Have we been together before? Was it explosive? Did it almost ruin our friendship? Or am I just not his type? I bite my lower lip before it starts to tremble. I’m not even sure where these emotions are coming from.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“We wouldn’t work as a couple. We’re friends. We’re good friends, and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that for a pact we made when we were nineteen.” He leans against the counter.

I narrow my eyes. “I don’t believe you just forgot.” Mostly because I don’t want to believe him.

“Why would I lie?”

“To cover up your sabotage plan, obviously.”

“Peyton, I’m telling the truth.”

“Sorry, Robbie. I don’t believe it.” I shake my head. He had to have remembered because I did. But wait. Debbie did say the pact helped me. It calmed my anxiety and my worry of never having someone to love and to love me back. It obviously meant more to me than it did to him.

He scoffs and throws his hands up.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says, staring directly at me. “I wasn’t on board with the whole dating-these-guys thing because I wanted you to get better first, but I’m fully on board now. Heck, I’ll help set up your dates. I’ll vet these guys. I’ll do all that gossipy crap you do with Maya about boys and dating. I’ll weigh out the pros and cons. And I’ll make sure you know which one of them you love by your birthday, so you don’t feel any pressure to go through with our silly pact.” Robbie exhales deeply, never dropping eye contact. “I only want you to be happy, andI know you won’t be if you fall back on a promise we made when we were practically kids.”

I lift my chin and stare back at him, studying his face, looking for a tell. “You really mean all of that?”

“Yes, I mean it.”

Either he’s not lying or he doesn’t have a tell. But I don’t know what’s true and what’s not. Without my memories, all I have are feelings with nothing behind them.

“Okay,” I say quietly, because I don’t know what else to say.

Maybe he really did forget about the pact, and maybe he was looking out for my best interests. Maybe it mattered so much to me because the pact was almost like a safety net, a fallback plan. I don’t know. It’s all just so confusing. There’s so little I do know, and it’s tangled up in the unknown. Robbie extends his hand for a shake. I glance at it and furrow my brow.

“What?” I ask, looking to him.

“Let’s shake on it. Let’s make a new pact.”

“What’s the new pact?”

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