Page 42 of Hothead

Fuck.

He could do this. All he had to do was dip his toe into the past two more times and then push the memories back down. Where they belonged.

Come on, man, you’re an expert at this. You’ve spent your whole life shutting your feelings down, tonight doesn’t have to be any different.

Yet it did feel different. It felt harder. Now that the box was open, it felt impossible to close. Could it be that Bella had broken him with all this “getting to know each other” crap? How was it possible to be in pain and turned on at the same time? Was this what relationships were like, he wondered? Was crying on each other’s shoulders just foreplay for couples?

“Luke?” Bella’s sweet voice brought him back to reality.

He simply nodded in reply; he knew what she wanted.

Just two more things. Two more things and then you’re done. You never have to speak about anything ever again.

Luke knew he was lying to himself now. But if that’s what it was going to take, then so be it. Ignoring the bad taste filling his mouth, he forced himself to push out more words. More confessions from a past he’d much rather forget.

“I never met my dad.” His head dropped again. “He didn’t want anything to do with me. Even when my mom ...” He didn’t finish the sentence; he didn’t want to say it out loud again. “They told me he signed away his rights—apparently he even tried to get his name scrubbed off my birth certificate.”

He was surprised just how much those words still stung. Even after all this time.

He looked up just in time to see Bella’s eyes close this time. Sadness radiating off her in waves.

“Kiss me,” he choked out. He needed to forget again. At least for a little while.

Her eyes flew open then. Hair dropping back into her face as she leaned into him. He didn’t wait for her. As soon as her lips got near enough, he scooped up and captured them. Prying her apart and angling his face to get deeper. He wanted to taste her. Inhale her. And not stop until he felt that high only she could give him.

It felt like the perfect time to claim his reward. His hands drifted up silky skin until they reached the clasp on her bra. All it took was one move and lace was falling through his fingers and luscious flesh was pressing against his shirt.

Now that there was something else to taste, he freed her lips and bent until a tight pink nipple teased his tongue. Nipping and sucking, just the way she liked it, he was rewarded with a throaty moan as Bella’s head fell back.

Heaven.

This was something he could get used to. Unwrapping an angel every night of the week. Losing himself in her. Letting her help him forget. He was hooked. Again, his thoughts wandered back to relationships. Was this what they were all like? Was it always this good?

Feeling Bella slowly pull back, he sucked hard one last time before releasing her. They were both panting now with matching hooded eyes as their gazes intertwined.

“I’m done fucking around, angel. Tonight, I want you. All of you.”

He’d given her what she wanted. He’d let her in. Shown her even more than he was planning to. He was done playing games.

She gifted him with a sultry smile. “If that’s what you want, Luke ... then you know what you have to do. There’s only one item of clothing left. If you want it, then you need to earn it.” Her smile faltered then, replaced with a curious expression that flattened her soft lips. “Tell me what happened with Marco.”

His body sobered in an instant. Marco.

Damnit.

He shouldn’t be surprised. Marco was the reason she was here. It made sense she would want to try and understand what happened between them. But that logic didn’t stop his body from reacting. Something inside him sank.

Come on. You can do this. One more confession.

And one more door open that he may never get closed. Was it worth it?

One look at Bella waiting patiently, and he knew it was.

“I found out about Marco when I was fifteen.” Luke took a moment, averting his eyes as he took himself back. “He showed up at the home, claiming he was my brother, saying he was gonna take care of me. He was about to turn eighteen and said he was gonna get a job and an apartment and I should come live with him. All kinds of bullshit.”

“What makes you think it was bullshit?” He felt Bella shift in his lap. He didn’t need to look up to know what kind of expression she was giving him. It was going to be the one that liked to tell him he was wrong.

“One thing I learned growing up in the system is knowing when someone is talking shit to you. Telling you what you want to hear. Promising you things that they can’t deliver. I heard that crap a lot. Why would his promises be any different from all the other people who’d let me down?”

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