Page 51 of Love at First Flight

Selah appeared somewhat dumbfounded at this. “But why? You don’t need me. You truly are a great guy. You can stay here, work at one of the most amazing state parks around, and find yourself another Ava.”

“What?” Why in the fuck would he want another Ava? None of this made any sense. “Do you really believe I’m great? Because you’re lumping me in with that asshole who flung you aside, assuming I’m just as bad. And you seem to be fine being treated that way. I don’t get it. I don’t know what it says about what you think about me or what you think about yourself. You’re better than that.” Selah’s lack of faith in them terrified him. Dex was afraid she’d reject any of his efforts to put himself out there, to put his heart directly on the line. No-man’s-land existed for a reason, after all. It was safer to remain in his foxhole.

The reality of this whole situation hit him like a brick. He pushed his face into his hands as he leaned forward onto his knees. How had he let this happen again? He was going to be sick.

“I don’t think you’re an asshole,” Selah responded in a low voice. Her tone was dry, almost emotionless. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t think you’re a bad guy. It’s just.. as I’ve said, I’ve been here before. I like to keep myself prepared.”

He supposed she meant keeping her heart from being affected, unlike him, who hadn’t wasted any opportunity to dive in. Perhaps all this time he hadn’t given his parents enough credit. Maybe they had the right idea the whole time. A cool, carefully fashioned marriage kept oneself from getting too invested, preventing future heartbreak.

He rubbed his eyes, a sudden headache developing behind them. “Fine. Well, thank you very much for telling me exactly where I stood before I embarrassed myself on national TV. Again. That’s Selah, always looking out for me.” A dark bitterness crept into his words.

She didn’t say anything for a moment until he turned to look at her. She sat on the far side of the couch, looking downcast and studying the burrito in her hands. He wasn’t sure what he expected. She wasn’t happy or mad or sad. She wasn’t anything more than emotionless resignation. After releasing a long, slow breath, she put her burrito down, picked up her shoes, and, without giving him another glance, she said, “I think I better leave. I’m sorry.”

And then she was gone.

He spent the rest of the evening staring at the opposite wall, feeling every bit of being dumped without having been in a real relationship.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Walking to theHigh Desert Tours’ office trailer, Selah removed her baseball hat and shook out her curls with a hand. She was worn out, even after a perfect flight. Flying wasn’t enough to shake the funk she’d found herself in since leaving Dex’s place a few days earlier.

She didn’t know how to explain things to him. He already thought her whole belief in rebound relationships was ridiculous. She couldn’t imagine how’d he feel about her theory regarding fate and how it had a habit of throwing up roadblocks, including her relationship with him, to keep her from her goal. Saying it out loud would sound silly, even to the logical, scientifically minded part of her brain. Except, she had lived it. She’d seen Robert live it. She kept it to herself because telling a person that fate had used them as some kind of pawn to mess with the Moreno family and... yeah, okay, it was ridiculous.

Regardless, she was cutting him from her life before the attachment grew any further. As much as she tried to convince herself she’d done the right thing, it hadn’t made her feel any better. The absolute dejection on Dex’s face would haunt her forever. It would have crushed her if she wasn’t already crushed and hollowed out.

Selah spent much of her time waffling between what she did and what else she should have done. She felt like she’d lost the one person she could talk to, the one person she didn’t have to be tough around. Returning to a life of mostly silence, when she’d gotten used to it filled with his text messages, was depressing. During those moments of misery, she wished she’d been smarter, less horny, and stuck with being friends only. Maybe they could have remained friends, even after she left Central Oregon.

Other times, she wished she hadn’t said anything. She could have lived in the fantasy world a little longer, let the whole thing play out until its unfortunate conclusion. She still expected to get left behind at some point, but she’d already accepted this outcome. The only difference was she would have gotten more time with him. What she had received didn’t feel enough.

But between those two things, it didn’t add up to the number of times she wished she would have answered with,Yes, we’re together. You and I are now a “we.”If she’d gone that route, let herself completely sink into the relationship, it may have still ended in disappointment. But who knows how blissful life would have been before her two-year commitment to pilot at High Desert Tours had come to its conclusion. Unfortunately, life didn’t work out that way. Sometimes one had to stay on course and fight through the turbulence the best way they could. Selah didn’t know how to do it any other way.

Selah removed her aviator sunglasses as she climbed the few steps to the office door like she was trekking up Mount Everest. She was surprised to see Hailey at her desk, talking on the business phone line like it was a job and she did it every day. The sight took Selah aback, as though she had tripped into some alternate timeline.

She plopped into her office chair and took a long drink from her water tumbler as she woke her laptop from sleep.

“Yes, that’s right. Just make sure to arrive fifteen minutes early to look over our safety contract, which needs to be signed before flight time. You can also read it on our website if you want to look at it ahead of time. Okay? Sounds great. See you then,” Hailey said before hanging up.

Selah raised a brow at how professional and adult her youngest sister sounded. What was happening today? While Selah didn’t have the energy to maintain the silent treatment, her time with Hailey could only be described as cool indifference with minimal interactions. Her sister avoided her more than the other way around. Not that Selah cared as she was too busy to worry about it. Instead of acknowledging Hailey, she focused on her laptop screen, searching for wind and weather forecasts for the following day.

“Mark called and left a message, saying he might know of another candidate for the balloon pilot position,” Hailey said, after a few silent minutes passed.

“Okay, thanks.” She only hoped it was better than the last guy her old flight instructor had sent her way. The man had spent much of the phone call talking over Selah and had a lot of high demands about how he expected things to work. The last thing she wanted was someone who’d push around her family when she wasn’t there.

The quiet moment continued loudly ticking by before Hailey impatiently tapped a pen on her desk and released a loud sigh. “Do you hate me?”

Selah glanced at her sister, not in the mood to get into any sort of argument. “No, I don’t hate you. I just don’t always understand you, and you frustrate me.”

Hailey gave her a dirty look. “Yeah, well, same.”

Selah shook her head, returning to her work. They truly were different creatures, except she didn’t consider herself difficult to figure out. She always thought of herself as straightforward. Although, perhaps, if she’d been more so with Dex, they would have been saved a huge mess. If only she’d been more upfront and honest. Lesson learned.

“Did you really break up with Dex?” Hailey blurted the question because she’d always been too impatient to ease into a discussion, preferring to jump straight into the deep end. Tact had never been her strong suit.

Selah nearly choked on the water from her tumbler. “What?”

“Mom said that you told her that you weren’t going to see Dex anymore.”

Earlier in the morning, her mother had pestered Selah about inviting him to another dinner. She finally had to drop the news that she and Dex weren’t talking anymore to get her mother off her back. Of course, nothing secret ever remained that way in this family.

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