Page 54 of The One Who Changed Everything

But wasn’t that what I was supposed to do? Hadn’t I spent years believing I had to atone for my mistakes, to be good enough, strong enough, selfless enough to make up for what happened? And yet, here I was, still weighed down by the same guilt, the same shame.

I closed my eyes, pressing my head back against the pillow. “I don’t deserve that kind of grace.”

She was quiet for a long moment before she whispered, “Neither do I. But that’s the thing about grace, Evan. It’s never been about what we deserve.”

The words settled into my chest, sinking deep like rain into dry earth.

I thought about all the times I had tried to fix things on my own. All the years I had spent believing I had to carry this burden, to make up for what I’d done. And yet, no matter how hard I worked, no matter how much I punished myself, the guilt never left.

Because I wasn’t meant to carry it alone.

I opened my eyes and looked at her again. Really looked at her. Sam, who had every reason to hate me, to push me away, and yet here she was, offering me something I didn’t know how to accept.

A way forward.

“I don’t know how to let it go,” I admitted again, my voice barely more than a breath.

She gave me a sad, knowing smile. “You don’t have to. You just have to let Him take it.”

God.

The answer had been there all along, but I had spent so many years only peripherally approaching him, convinced it was all I could ask for. That I had to earn my way back. But maybe… maybe I didn’t have to. Maybe I just had to surrender.

A lump formed in my throat, and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to pray. Not out of obligation, not because I was trying to make a deal with God, but because I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t carry the guilt of my mistakes anymore. Not for sleeping with Sam, which God had obviously used for something as miraculous as the little girl who held my whole heart. I couldn’t carry the weight of Mason’s death anymore.

I took a shaky breath, my fingers still tangled with Sam’s.

“I don’t expect you to just trust me overnight,” I admitted. “But I meant what I said, Sam. I’m not going anywhere. Not again.”

She studied me for a long moment, her eyes searching mine like she was looking for cracks in my resolve.

“I lost everything that night. My brother. You. And I spent years trying to make peace with the fact that I didn’t deserve to get any of it back. But you’re right. It’s time to let go of that guilt.”

CHAPTER 21

Samantha

Isat in the sterile silence of Evan's hospital room, my fingertips tracing the cool, plastic edge of his bed rail long after his eyes drifted shut. The near miss played over in my mind like a broken record. What if the other firefighters hadn’t been able to get to him? What if the fire had been too big?

I almost lost him. But he was here. Alive. That truth should have been enough to ease the tightness in my chest, but instead, a different kind of pressure built beneath my ribs.

The thought sent a fresh wave of panic through me. It wasn’t just a fleeting fear—it was the kind that reached down into my bones and wrapped itself around my heart, refusing to let go. I’d spent years making decisions out of fear. Fear of losing Sophia. Fear of his family finding out and taking everything from me. Fear of Sophia’s heart giving out.

Fear had kept me safe. Or so I thought.

But sitting here, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest, I saw the truth for what it was.

Fear was a liar.

Fear didn’t make me strong. It had only built walls—walls that kept me from trusting, from hoping, from letting myselfbelieve that love could be anything other than a risk too dangerous to take.

I had let it rule me for too long.

I glanced down at Evan’s hand, still resting near his side, bruised but steady. This man—this stubborn, charming, honorable man—had come back into my life, and no matter how much I tried to push him away, he refused to let me. He wasn’t just here for Sophia. He was here for me too.

And that terrified me.

Because if I let myself believe in this, in him, and it all fell apart again, I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.

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