Page 31 of A Reclusive Heart

Jamie opened the door as he prepared himself for her tears, but all he got was a warm smile. Of course, she’d be happy to see him, Nick realized, feeling like an idiot. She’d probably spent the entire night doodling his name all over her notebooks and imagining what their kids would look like. It was sad, cute, but sad.

“Hey, Nick,” she said, smiling. “I’m so glad that you’re here.”

He couldn’t help but sigh. Of course, she was happy to see him. Maybe it would be best to quickly explain that last night’s kiss meant nothing. Sure, he’d be destroying all of her hopes and dreams, but it was for the best.

“I’m starving,” Jamie said, walking past him as she pulled the door shut behind her. “I was just about to head downstairs and grab something to eat. Do you think that we have time to grab breakfast before the signing?” she asked as she headed for the elevator.

“I think we should talk about something first,” Nick said quietly as he tried to think of a way to break it to her without breaking her heart. Sadly, he just didn’t see any way around it. He was going to have to break her heart, but he’d do it quickly. It surprised him that he actually cared if he hurt her, but he figuredthat was because he genuinely cared about her, another surprise, but one that didn’t matter at the moment.

“Okay,” Jamie said, pulling her beautiful strawberry-blond hair up into a messy bun. “But can we talk while we walk? I’m starving,” she said, pressing the elevator call button.

“It’s about last night,” Nick said as they stepped into the elevator. When she frowned up at him, looking adorably confused, he added, “About the kiss,” knowing that it was for the best to get it over with, but hating that he was about to hurt her. Maybe they should return to her room for this talk. He didn’t want his little recluse embarrassed when she broke down in tears.

“What about it?” Jamie asked, looking so damn pretty at that moment that all he could think about was kissing her again, but that would just send the wrong message.

“I just wanted to make sure that you understood why I did it,” Nick said, inwardly wincing when she smiled. Oh, God, did she expect a declaration of love? That would never happen. Maybe they should go upstairs, after all, he thought just as the elevator doors opened to the lobby.

“I know why you did it and I should thank you. That was really sweet, Nick. You’re a good friend,” Jamie said, reaching over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

For a moment, Nick could only stare after her as she walked across the lobby. It took the elevator doors closing to snap him out of it. That was it? Seriously? He’d given her her first kiss and it meant nothing to her? Nick thought in disgust as he shoved the doors open and went after her.

It didn’t mean anything to her? Well, that was fine because it meant even less than nothing to him. He was relieved, glad even, that she didn’t misinterpret that kiss to mean more than it really was. As long as they were both on the same page, then everything was fine, just fucking peachy.

“Are you okay?”Jamie asked as she took the bottle of water from Nick.

“Peachy,” he said tightly.

“You wouldn’t be so crabby if you’d eaten breakfast,” Jamie pointed out quietly as he glared down at her.

“I’m not cranky,” Nick bit out, narrowing his eyes on her.

“No, of course not. My mistake,” Jamie said, barely managing to bite back a smile as that glare intensified. When she started to think of his glares as cute, she didn’t know, but they were. It really had been ridiculous to be intimidated by this man. He might come off as a jerk, but he really was a big pushover.

“Damn straight,” Nick said, running his eyes over the large crowd that had gathered to meet her. The bookstore manager had booked them for only three hours, but she had a feeling they wouldn’t be getting out of here until after dinnertime.

“Do you think we could do something off the list tonight?” Jamie asked, trying not to sound too eager but it was difficult. She’d wanted to do this for years, but never had the guts to try. Now that she had Nick, she was ready to finally do it.

“Which list?” Was his voice hoarser than it had been a minute ago? She wondered if he was getting sick. If he was, then they would have to put off her plans for another night. She’d be disappointed, but she’d get over it.

“The original list,” Jamie said, stepping out of the way as one of the cashiers carrying a large cardboard sign with a picture of her books on it walked past her.

“Oh,” Nick said, sounding a little disappointed.

Well, of course, he was disappointed, she realized, feeling like an idiot. He hadn’t been with a woman since this tourstarted and was probably hoping that they’d hit a bar or a club so that he could rectify that. The realization that he wanted to be with another woman hurt, so she shoved the thought away, knowing that it wouldn’t do her any good to wish things were different.

They were two completely different people and nothing she said or did would ever change that. When this was all over, she would most likely only see him when she ran into him at the office. Maybe they’d exchange a few pleasantries while they waited for the elevator together, but she doubted there would ever be anything more than that. Right now, she was going to focus on what they did have, a friendship of sorts.

When the manager, a short woman with thick glasses and a nervous smile, removed the red ribbon that held the line back, Nick pulled her chair out and gestured for her to sit down. Biting her lip, Jamie did just that, hoping that the large breakfast she ate before coming here would help settle her nerves.

She’d been doing this for a little over a month now, and although she thought she was improving with making small talk with her readers and not freaking out, it was still stressful for her. The only time she found herself relaxing was when Nick was close by. Thankfully, he’d been staying closer the past couple of weeks, probably to make sure that she didn’t scare off the fans, Jamie thought as she sat down and took a quick sip of water. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Nick spoke to the bookstore manager but was thankfully still close enough that she didn’t feel like panicking.

Six hours later, everything was still fine. Nick was staying close and the fans had been great. A few made her nervous, but that was mostly because they’d treated her like a freak of nature. Okay, maybe freak of nature was a bit of an exaggeration, but that’s how she felt when they wouldn’t stop gushing and going on and on about how excited they were to meet her. It wasflattering, but it also made her really nervous. Several times, Nick had to step in and calmly get the over-enthusiastic fan to move along.

As she said goodbye to the sweet woman that gave her a copy of her family’s cookie recipe because Jamie mentioned on her Facebook page the other night that she was dying for a homemade cookie, she noted the young college guy standing in line. Her eyes shot to the trio of guys waiting for him near the sports section and gesturing for him to get on with it.

Why were they holding cameras? Jamie wondered as he stepped in front of her table. He cleared his throat nervously.

“Um, J.L. Lewis?” he said, sounding unsure.

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