Page 43 of A Reclusive Heart

A look around the room had her taking in the junk food wrappers and empty soda cans, reminding her exactly why her stomach was no longer on speaking terms with her. She pressed a hand against her stomach as she slowly, ever so slowly, climbed off the bed and headed for the bathroom. Nick didn’t argue when she shut the bathroom door in his face so that she could relieve herself, which she truly appreciated at the moment.

The moment that he heard the faucet turn on, he decided that she’d had enough time to herself and walked into the bathroom. Thankfully, the man was a saint and started the tub for her while she brushed her teeth. Once she was done, she made her way to the tub, sending him a small smile of gratitude as he helped her into the tub, sat down and sighed with relief as the hot water pooled around her stomach and eased some of the aches making her wish for a quick death.

She was never going on another junk food binge as long as she lived, Jamie decided as she laid back in the tub. When Nick handed her a bottle of water, she had to stop herself from asking for a Coke since she knew that would probably earn her a glare, so she accepted the water and took a small sip, praying that it didn’t set off her sensitive stomach.

“Jamie, we really need to talk about last night,” Nick said, looking adorably sexy with his hair mussed and five o’clock shadow.

“Okay,” she said, wincing when her stomach sent up a warning not to make any sudden moves. She was done with sweets. From now on, she was sticking to tasteless, bland food that didn’t leave her praying for a quick death.

“We didn’t use a condom last night, Jamie,” Nick started to say, reminding her of the other thing that happened last night.

She had sex!

Really great, fun sex and it hadn’t been pity sex or even sex with a stranger. It had been with Nick and he’d been sweet, gentle and so good that just thinking about it made another part of her ache. She wondered if her stomach would be okay if she had sex because she definitely wanted to do that again.

Her mind chose that exact moment to remind her that she’d broken into sobs as soon as it was over. That memory was pretty mortifying, so she decided that she was going to just go ahead and drown herself now. Nick stopped her with a long-suffering sigh and a hand. He gave her elbow a gentle nudge to help her sit back up and when she did, he shocked her further by lathering his hands with her bar of lemongrass soap and began washing her body.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m clean. I’ve never had sex without a condom before and I always get tested,” he paused mid-wash to meet her gaze and stressed,“Always.”

Jamie nodded slowly, wondering if this was his way of asking her if she was clean. She opened her mouth to reassure him that she was when she remembered that he was well aware of her virginal status last night and probably realized that she was clean as well.

“If it will make you feel better, I’ll go out today and get tested again, but I want you to know that it has been almost a year since I’ve had sex and I’ve been tested since,” he explained.

“Okay,” she said, nodding and not really sure what else there was to say.

When he became quiet, she got a little nervous. “Is there something else?” Jamie asked, trying not to worry. She hoped this wasn’t the moment he chose to let her go or worse, tell her that she was horrible in bed because if that was the case, she was more than happy to keep trying until she got it right.

“Are you on birth control?” Nick asked grimly, looking less than pleased with the idea of having a baby with her.

“Oh,” Jamie said, feeling like an idiot. Of course, they should talk about birth control. Thankfully, it was one of those things that she had covered. “I’ve been on birth control since I was fourteen,” she announced, trying not to laugh when the announcement noticeably startled him.

She decided to take pity on him and explain, “My periods were irregular, so the doctor thought it would help me.”

Nick nodded, looking relieved as he went back to washing her. “I guess that’s one less thing to worry about,” he murmured quietly.

“I guess,” Jamie agreed, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she found herself wondering about a few things.

She wondered if her monthly problem was something that she’d inherited from her birth mother since her mother, well, the woman she thought was her mother, Jamie reminded herself sadly, didn’t have that problem and neither did Caitlyn. It alsoreminded her that she had about a thousand questions that she wanted to ask her father. She also wondered who her real mother was and where she was.

The one thing that she couldn’t help but wonder was what was so wrong with her that her mother gave her away. It was more than obvious, at least to her, that she must have done something bad. According to the paper, she’d been four years old by the time she went to live with her father. She wanted to find her mother and ask her what she did to make her give her away to a father who ignored her and a woman who’d made it obvious that she wasn’t welcome, and she had to do it in person.

It was bad enough that she had to find out about everything along with the rest of the world, but she wasn’t going to wait for this. She didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone. She wanted her father to look her in the eye when he explained why he’d lied to her. She also wanted to know why he’d decided that it was okay for the rest of the world to find out about her mother before she did.

This might very well be the last time she spoke to her father since it was more than obvious that he didn’t want her around. Part of her hoped that he’d break down and apologize for her crappy childhood and promise to make it up to her, but she wasn’t an idiot. She’d always known that her father didn’t love her, and now…

Now, she wanted to know why.

“Nick?”

“Yes?” he asked as he ran his hands over her back.

“I know this is last minute, but I need a few days off to figure some things out,” Jamie said, hoping that he could get her out of the interviews that he’d scheduled for her since she didn’t want to have to put this off for another day.

His hand stilled on her back. “Is this about us?”

“No,” she answered honestly. Whatever was going on between them would have to wait until later. There was no doubt in her mind that he was going to break her heart when he decided to move on. When it happened, she would deal with it, but right now, she had other things to worry about.

“You’re going home to see your family,” Nick murmured as he ran his hand down her back again.

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