Page 8 of False Start

That gets a small chuckle. “Like he wants to kill me? Thanks, buddy. Glad you don’t like that.”

I shrug instead of laughing it off though. “I don’t know. It’s more than that. I can’t really explain it, but I can’t shake it either.” His palm slides over my forehead, and I bat him away. “What are you doing?”

He grins at me and drops his hand. “Just making sure you’re okay. You’re thinking awfully hard over there.”

“Fuck off.” I do laugh this time though. I turn my head to look at him, trying to be serious for once, even though it’s not really my thing. I’ll try for him. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“Yeah.” He takes a bite of his homemade roll and looks deep in thought as he chews. “I really can’t.”

The pain I feel in my chest nearly knocks me over. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’ve always told me everything. We tell each other everything.”

“It’s nothing.” His eyes meet mine, and I can tell he wants me to drop it, but no way that’s happening. He’s keeping something from me. We don’t do that. He knows better than that.

“You’re my best friend. You can’t keep secrets from me.”

“I am,” he says cryptically but offers nothing else. What the hell? A sense of dread washes over me. Is he lying about not being sick? Is it his parents? My mind goes over a thousand scenarios in a minute.

“Is this about a girl?” That could be it. I mean, Austin isn’t a player by any stretch. The guy doesn’t seem all that interested in girls at all. We were all chasing girls before even hitting puberty, but my best friend was always just content reading a book. Maybe that’s it. Maybe he has a crush on some lucky chick at school.

“No,” he answers way too fast.

“Oh, come on. It’s for sure about a girl. You finally have a crush, am I right?” I nudge him.

“It’s not about that.”

I rub my shoulder against him again, prodding him to open up. Girls—well, at least one girl—but dating in general, I feel like I’m pretty good at. I’ve had a steady girlfriend for years. This is something I can help him with. “Come on. I told you everything about me and Van.” I mean, I don’t give details, but he knew thefirst time I kissed her. When we went a little further. And even when we awkwardly lost our virginity to each other last year after prom.

I felt like such a loser—not being totally psyched afterward. Thinking I messed it all up, and he was there for me. He’s always there for me.

I want to be there for him now. “Yeah. And I wish you’d stop,” he says with a sly, teasing grin and bumps his shoulder into mine.

“Tell me.”

I don’t know why it’s so important—it just is. “Nothing. Can we please just drop it?” He’s looking at me, pleading with me to let it go. Everything inside me is screaming not to do it, but I don’t want to push him. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.

I guess.

“Fine.” I shrug and dig back into my food. But I don’t want to keep things quiet for too long. “Let’s talk about college then. You sure you want to live in the dorms? You could get your own place. You know, so I can crash there when I want to.”

I expect him to tease me about being codependent or not being able to sleep without him, but instead, his whole body goes tense. He looks guilty.

What the actual fuck is going on?

“Uh, yeah.”

“See, something is up. What the hell is going on with you?” I’m really worried now. Something is wrong. Very wrong. I search my brain for something—anything—that could be bothering him.

He’s been doing this lately a lot, freezing up when I bring up college. “New topic,” he says, pushing me farther away.

Fine, he doesn’t want to talk about this. I’ll just bring up a subject he hates, so maybe we can come back to this. “There’s a party on Friday. Come with me.”

I’m preparing for the fight. Austin hates parties almost as much as he hates going to games. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t party. Honestly, it’s one of the many things I like about him. It makes him unique. But I’m not telling him that.

“Okay.”

I stare at him in shock, almost dropping my plate. “What?”

He just shrugs. “High school is almost over. I guess I should go to one of these stupid things my senior year.”

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