Page 56 of False Start

I chuckle and look at him. “I know. It’s okay. I think the only one you actually outed was yourself.”

“Totally fine with that,” he says with a bright smile, and I know, without a doubt, he means it.

My brave beautiful man who isn’t afraid of anything. I could learn a lot from him, it turns out. I think everyone could.

26

AUSTIN

“It’s too cold out here,” I complain. It’s actually snowing on our heads. Fat snowflakes fall down as we all stand out here, just taking it.

Vaughn wraps his big arms around me, and okay, I suddenly feel a little warmer. “Since when are you such a wuss?”

I laugh and shove him away, but then immediately pull him back to me because you know—body heat. “Since forever, when it’s cold. I hate winter. You know this about me.”

He nuzzles into my neck and kisses me softly there. “It’ll be worth it.”

I think he overestimates how much I care about Christmas and lights for the holiday. I mean, yes, his dad’s display is really pretty every year, but still... it’s cold out here, and I’m freezing my balls off.

“You two are gross,” his sister complains, but she’s smiling. She’s been a total Vaughn and Austin supporter since Thanksgiving, though she claims she always knew about us, even before we did. Which, yeah, maybe she did. Apparently, no one was all that surprised.

Finally, his whole family and mine do a countdown, and his dad plugs in the damn lights, illuminating their house and front yard. We all cheer, and Vaughn’s mom and I are the first ones to head back inside.

His family welcomed me as Vaughn’s boyfriend just as easily as they welcomed me as his best friend. There hasn’t been any weirdness. We’re officially on winter break and have been bouncing back and forth between our two houses since then, never spending a night apart. So pretty much, nothing has changed.

Except, you know ... the sex. We have to keep it down though, and I’m already thinking about renting a place next year instead of staying in the dorms and maybe even changing cities.

I haven’t brought it up to Vaughn yet. Things have been going so well, I don’t want to fight with him, even if it’s technically fighting for us. It’s been on my mind constantly though.

He hasn’t tried to tell me he’s in love with me again since Thanksgiving break, and it does have me slightly worried. He told his family and mine about us, so he’s in, but maybe I messed up the wholeI love youthing so badly, he’ll never say the words out loud again.

I hope not.

I find myself desperate to hear them and to not silence him ever again. I guess I’m going to have to earn that though.

We have hot chocolate with his family and then drive back to my parents’ house to sleep. When we’re all settled in the bed, he starts to kiss me, but I can still hear my parents in the other room, so clothes stay on.

For now.

“Thanks for coming home with me for Christmas.”

I smile as I let him hold me the way he has for so long, making me feel warm and safe. I guess I’m a cuddle slut too. “It’s my home too, Vaughn.”

I chance a look at his face and see he looks content, smiling at me. “So is college. I think anywhere we’re together will be home.”

See, he says things like that. How can I not love him? “Hey, Vaughn?”

His eyes have drifted closed, and he sounds sleepy, but he still answers me. “Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing.” I can hear the smile in my own voice, and sure enough, the smile on my face is so big, it almost hurts. He opens his eyes and looks at me. “I’m in love with you. I love you.”

His whole body tenses, and I can feel the nervous shift of energy as he rolls to his side to face me. “Yeah?”

I nod. “Yeah. I love you so much.”

My heart is in my throat as I wait for him to pick up on my not-too-subtle hint. I need to hear him say it. I crave it. Please tell me I haven’t totally messed this part up for us.

He blinks and then licks his lips as he stares at me, uncertainty on his beautiful face. But he doesn’t say anything. My stomach drops, but this is Vaughn. It’s worth making a fool out of myself. I need to be brave, just like him. Even if it’s only in this exact moment and never again.

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