Page 45 of False Start

“I’m not sure it’s a good thing that you’re laughing after I just had the best orgasm of my life.”

He laughs some more but reaches his hand up to brush over my cheek. “I think I’m just in shock. That was...” He bites on his puffy bottom lip, looking at me in awe. “That was everything.So much more than I ever pictured, and I can’t believe it happened.”

“It did.” I pull his lip free from his teeth and then kiss them better softly, taking my time. “And it’s going to happen again and again.”

He laughs some more, and it’s the most beautiful sound. I slowly pull out of him and then lay next to him on my side, pulling him into me.

“Promises, promises,” he says sleepily, and I just kiss his temple and smile.

He has no idea what kind of needy monster he just unleashed.

21

AUSTIN

Ihad sex with my best friend last night... That’s... I can’t even describe it. I can’t believe it actually happened. I’m trying really hard to play it cool and keep my heart in check, but when he was inside me, the care I felt... yeah.

My brain and heart are kind of at war right now.

“You sore?” His deep voice rumbles in my ear, and I roll to my side to look at him. We’re both still naked, but he did put on some shorts and went to the bathroom to wet a washcloth to bring back and clean us both up before we passed out last night. So there’s no drying cum making us uncomfortable.

But I already want to get nice and sticky again with him. “Nope. I’m ready for round two.”

He laughs, rolling to his side too and resting his arm over me. He kisses my nose. “Liar.”

“Worth it,” I say with 100 percent certainty, closing my eyes and just letting myself enjoy this. I loved every second of being with him. I always do. I told myself I could go one weekend without seeing him, that I’d be okay, but that turned out to be a lie.

I love school. I like my new friends and being in a bigger town where I don’t know very many people. But lying here in Vaughn’s arms like this? It’s familiar and calming in a way I think I took for granted before.

“Austin...” I hear the stark honesty in his voice, just from saying my name, and I open my eyes and see the seriousness in his. “I lo—”Oh no.

I cover his mouth with my hand and give him a stern shake of my head. Did I want to tell him I love him last night when he was inside me? Yes. Too many times to count. And did I want to hear it back from him? Yes.

But I can’t let him say it. I remind myself he’s going through huge changes, that now is not the time to be in an actual relationship. And I’m falling far too easily into that role.

He sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping, and I hate that, but it’s for the best. He has to know deep down, I’m protecting us both by not letting him say it. It’ll be so much worse when this ends if he says that. I’m too weak to not believe it.

He’s quiet for a really long time, and I can see the anger in his eyes, but it’s restrained. He holds it back like he usually does with me. “There’s a Halloween party here next weekend. We should go together.”

I sit up slowly, looking down at his earnest face. “Like a date?”

He shrugs and sits up, running his fingers through his hair nervously. “Sure.”

I stand up, needing some distance, and grab a pair of shorts to pull on. It’s something to do, and it’s better to not be naked when we’re trying to talk. “I don’t know about that.”

“Why not?” His gaze is sharp, and I can see the irritation forming.

He’s not serious, is he? “You’re a football player at this school.”

“So?” He really doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that going to a party with me as his date will out him. It’ll make him agayfootball player in all their eyes. It could make his life harder. “I don’t care if anyone knows about us, Austin. I want them to know.”

See, this is the thing about Vaughn. He doesn’t think things through. He’s reckless, and normally, I admire the hell out of him for it. He’s reckless in a way I’ll never feel free enough to be. He’s not careless, he cares so much, but he’s brave. “Vaughn, that’s insane.”

“What is?” He gets off the bed, and I try to ignore his naked form.

“You don’t know what they’re going to think or say if they find out you’re...”

“I’m what? Dating a guy?”

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