Page 15 of False Start

“Because it’s been three days, and he hasn’t been at school. I’m worried.”

“Do you actually like him?” He looks pissed-off, and I can’t decide if it’s because he hates Calvin or if it’s because Calvin is a guy. I don’t want to think that way about my best friend—but he’s straight, and this is Big Bend. No matter how cool he’s playing it, he may not be all that okay with this.

“No. He’s a dickhead.” He looks partially relieved but still concerned. “I just... being outed sucks.”

He seems to think that over for a moment, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. “But you did kiss him...”

It’s kind of a question and kind of a statement. I’m not sure what he wants from me right now. “You really want to talk about this?” I ask, starting toward my truck again.

I get to the door, and he moves to the passenger side, even though I tried to hint that this is a solo mission. He opens the door and climbs in. I huff and slide behind the wheel but don’t start it up. “I want you to talk to me. And I’m not letting you go see Calvin the dickhead alone.”

I roll my eyes. “I can handle him.” But I start the truck anyway because I’m not going to win this argument.

“So, do you like him?”

I grip the steering wheel and start toward Calvin’s house. “No. Not like that, I don’t. And not in any way. But I know what it’s like to hide who you are. While it made him angry, and he was a total dick to me, I can kind of understand it.”

“I can’t.” Vaughn folds his arms, and I try not to laugh at him, but he’s being ridiculous.

“That’s because you’re the town’s golden boy. Doing everything they deemright.”

He frowns and drops his folded arms. “You know I’m not perfect.”

I laugh and shove him playfully. “Of course I know that. I’m your best friend. But I’m just saying...”

“That you think I’ve had it easy.”

God, not that kicked puppy look again. “Vaughn, I know life is never easy. It’s not that. But being different—in a town like this—it’s hard. And I’m worried about Calvin.”

“Okay,” he says softly. “But did you have to kiss him?”

I laugh at the grossed-out face he’s wearing and punch him in the shoulder again. “He kissed me, asshole.”

“Did you like it?”

I park in front of Calvin’s house and turn the truck off, slowly looking at my best friend. “Do you actually want to know the answer to that?” Because he can’t want to know if the kiss was good.

“Yes,” he says emphatically.

I sigh and look out the windshield because I can’t look at him. “It felt right.”

I can hear his shock. “What?”

I turn to look at him and see he looks horrified. “Remember when Misty kissed me in seventh grade?” He nods his head slowly. “It was nice—but off.”

“You said you liked it.”

“What was I going to say, Vaughn? That I was a thirteen-year-old guy who didn’t feel a thing when a really pretty girl kissed him?”

“If it was the truth, yeah.”

I sigh again and look out the window, past him. “It’s not that simple.”

“But it felt right withCalvin?” He says his name with disgust.

“Not right like I want him or like I love him. Right like...” I swallow hard and look into his eyes. “Like that thing that was missing with Misty wasn’t missing with him. Like I wasn’t so broken. Because it felt good, until he shoved me and told me he’d kick my ass if I ever told anyone.”

His eyes flash with anger, and I put a hand on his arm to try to calm him. “That fucker.”

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