Page 69 of Silent Lucidity

She inhaled sharply, laughed, and rolled over to face him. “Not all pain is bad.” She trailed a finger over his bare chest. “Some can be quite pleasurable.”

“The bruises. The blood.”

“Will disappear over time.” Her smile widened. “And besides, I like them.”

Tenthil’s brows fell; his mind went to his facial scars, the most prominent marks he possessed. Though he’d come to appreciate them for the defiance they represented, he could not imaginelikingthem. “Likethem?”

“Because they were made by you in a moment of passion. Because you were with me, inside me, letting go. You didn’t do it out of spite or to hurt me.” She ran her hand down his arm. “Do you like it when I scratch your back as you make love to me?”

Faint but exhilarating tingles danced over his skin in response to her touch. He nodded.

“It hurts, but it also feels good, right?”

“Yes. But it’s nothing compared to this.”

“To what?”

He placed his hand lightly over her bruises. “This.”

“They don’t really hurt, Tenthil. And if they did, it’d only remind me of you and how much pleasure you gave me. Think of it like…another mark you put on me. Another claim.” She covered his hand with one of hers and guided it up to the bite wounds between her neck and shoulder. They were already scabbed over, though it couldn’t have been more than a couple hours since their joining.

Tenthil frowned. Each time he’d bitten her, it had been the result of overwhelming instinct—he’d never once made the conscious decision to do so. Something within him said it was what he should do, said it was the way to solidify his claim, to mark her as his, to make her feelgood.

He finally eased himself down onto the mattress, drawing her against him. She slipped one of her legs between his and draped an arm across his chest.

“I’m fine, Tenthil.” Abella kissed his cheek, right over his scar.

Once she’d pulled back, he brushed his lips against hers. He wanted to experience moments like this for the rest of his life—and he wanted that life to be a long one. Perhaps he didn’t deserve happiness, didn’t deserve her, but he intended to seize both, nonetheless.

That meant overcoming a few not-insignificant obstacles first.

“Need to find a way to get the credits,” he said.

It killed him a little inside when her smile faded.

“How many credits do we have?” she asked.

“Little over fifteen hundred.”

She cringed. “So we’re not even close.”

Tenthil shook his head. “But we’re not beaten yet. Just need to find a big payoff. Can probably find a contract. Might take a few days, but—”

“No. I don’t want you to do that.”

“Longer we take, closer they get, Abella.” He settled a hand on her cheek and caressed her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “We need to work as quick as possible.”

A little crease formed between her brows as she stared into his eyes. “All the killing you’ve done since you took me from Cullion’s was to keep me safe, Tenthil… It was necessary, and I know a lot of them weren’t good people. But if you take a random contract to kill a random person who has nothing to do with any of this… I don’t know, maybe it’s naïve of me to think so by this point, but it would bewrong. You escaped the Order. You’re making your own choices now. You don’t have to be like them anymore.”

He recognized the truth at the core of her words, but his instincts still ran strong—protect her at all costs. No life mattered more than hers, not even his own. If he had to kill a random stranger, an innocent, he would, just to ensure Abella’s safety. Right now, leaving the planet was the only way to keep her safe. That meant earning the credits they needed as fast as possible by whatever means necessary.

“It is all I know,” he said.

“I know,” Abella sighed. She tightened her arm around him and lowered her gaze. The crease between her brows lingered.

She was quiet for a time, and Tenthil was content to simply lay with her, to feel her warmth, her skin against him.

Abella suddenly tensed and raised her head. “What if… I think I know where we can get the credits.”

---