Page 38 of Jewel of the Sea

His jaw muscles bulged, nostrils and siphons opening wide for a moment. “There is a sinking feeling in my stomach at the thought of you with another male, and I am envious of those men, even though I do not know them.”

Her eyes widened.

Jealous? He wasjealous.

“But no, I do not think poorly of you.” He shook his head and tipped it back, looking up at the sky. “I have no right to feel the way I do. For a kraken female, three is…nothing. It was your choice, besides, and I cannot hold such decisions against you. My desire to tear the males you have been with to shreds is irrational, and quite unlike my usual self. I simply thought…Macy said humans chooseonce. Is that untrue?”

Warmth blossomed in her chest, spreading farther each word he spoke. She stepped closer, took his cheeks in her hands, and tilted his head down to meet his eyes. Silver moonlight bathed half his face, while shadow shrouded the other side save for the faint point of reflected light in his eye. The contrast strengthened his expression — jealousy, vulnerability, passion, and longing were writ upon his features.

She tucked this moment away in her memory; it would make a powerful painting.

Aymee stood on her toes, placed a light kiss on his lips, and moved back to sit on a rock near her skirt and sandals.

Arkon lifted his hand to touch his lips as though in disbelief. His chest swelled with a deep inhalation before he approached and sank into a squat in front of her.

“Macy’s not wrong,” she said. “Humans choose when they are ready to join with another. There’s more to it than sex, though, and once you make that choice, it’smeantto be forever.”

“Meantto be forever?”

“That’s the intention. But people just… I guess we just don’t always work that way. It’s great in concept. One person to share your life with, to share everything of yourself with…” The wind blew her drying hair into her face; she dragged her fingers through the curls, tugging them aside.

“You do not sound very excited by the prospect.”

The corner of her mouth quirked up. “I wasn’t.”

“But…you are, now?”

The hopeful note in his voice went straight to Aymee’s heart. She wanted to move closer, to touch him, to hold him, but she remained in place, staring silently at him until she forced herself to look away.

Take what you want. Take it all. Do not hesitate, because it could all be gone faster than you can blink.

Maris’s words echoed in Aymee’s mind.

Hadn’t she done that already? Hadn’t she jumped headlong into taking what she wanted with those other men? It had never brought her fulfillment. Why would it be different with Arkon?

She couldn’t answer that question, but she knew she’d regret it for the rest of her life if she didn’t try.

“I was sixteen when I had sex for the first time. I’d heard whispers from other kids my age, and I’d learned some things from working in the clinic. I was curious.” She dropped her hands into her lap; the bare flesh of her thighs reminded her only then that she’d not yet pulled on her skirt.

“I didn’t think too hard about the decision. I just told one of the boys who was interested in me that I wanted to, and…we did. It was horrible. There were a few moments when it felt nice, but mostly it was painful.” She wrinkled her nose. “I knew there’d be pain the first time, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for how much. I just laid there, waiting for him to finish, and when it was over I felt…hollow. Afterwards, I got angry.”

“I…” Arkon sighed. “I understand the pursuit of curiosity, at least. What were you angry about when it was done?”

“I felt like I’d been lied to. That I shared my body and was left bereft. The experience was nothing like what I’d heard.” She rubbed a finger against her leg. “It wasn’t until a year later that I decided to try again, with a different guy. It felt a lot better, but there was always something missing. We got together a few times, but eventually, we both moved on.

“Then I started a fling with another guy a few years ago, until I found out he was seeing other women. And I didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t jealous, I wasn’t hurt. I just…didn’t care.” She frowned and stared down at her feet as she dug her toes into the sand. “I don’t regret any of it. I just wanted to know what it’sreallysupposed to be like. I just wanted to find that missing piece.”

Aymee smiled, kicking the sand. “Macy found it with Jax.”

“Perhaps you were simply…starting from the wrong place.”

“Or maybe I was looking too soon.” She lifted her gaze to him. Shadow obscured his features, his entire body silhouetted against the moons. “Do you believe in fate, Arkon?”

He was silent for a long while. “Sometimes, I do. It implies that the universe works in ways I cannot possibly understand — which is unsettling, if I pause to think about it — but none of us can understand everything.”

“I didn’t believe in it. But what were the chances of Macy meeting Jax? For her to have gone out on the water after avoiding it for so long, to get caught in that storm and swept out to sea at the exact moment he happened to be there?”

“Near impossible,” he replied. “And yet it happened.”

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