Page 232 of Of Empires and Dust

“I’ve given up on trying to master your mam’s braised lamb. The woman should have been sent to the Circle for practicing magic. I’ll never work out how she got that flavour. Don’t worry though, Gaeleron brought me enough venison this morning to feed a horse… or a wolfpine.” Elia flashed a smile at Faenir, who bounded over and nuzzled her shoulder.

Footsteps sounded, and Lasch descended the stairs. He pressed his fingers to his lips as he crept up behind Elia, who waslost in stirring the pot. Lasch wrapped his arms around his wife from behind and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“Smells incredible.” He inhaled sharply through his nose, then looked to the pot of tea Elia had left on the counter and gave Ella a sympathetic smile. “How was your day, Ella?” Lasch tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. “Ella? What’s wrong?”

Ella hadn’t realised she was crying. It was only when Lasch spoke that she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, softly dripping from her chin.

Lasch stepped around the counter and brought his embrace to her. And as soon as he did, the trickle of tears became a waterfall, her gut churning, chest heaving.

“I just miss them so much.” Everything came crashing down on her. Every drop of loss and loneliness and sorrow she had pushed down and sealed tight. “I miss them.”

“I know.” Lasch wrapped one hand around the back of Ella’s head, and she wept into his chest. “I know, sweet girl. I miss them too.”

Farda foundhimself standing at that ledge once more, the day slowly yielding to the night. He was barefoot, his toes curling over the edge, dirt and small rocks tumbling.

He drew slow breaths, tracing his finger over the scars on his face.

Ella’s voice sounded in his head.“You took everything from me…”

“We’re back here?”

Farda shook his head softly, turning to look at Tivar as she approached. Hala and Ilyain walked with her. “It has not been a good day.”

“Have you hadanygood days recently?” Hala asked.

“Define recently?”

“Within the last four hundred years.” Hala moved so she stood at his side, her white hair falling loose, a broken smile on her lips.

“Two or three.”

“More than I, so.” Tivar looked out at the valley beyond. “What did she say?”

“Truth.”

“Where is your head, brother?” Ilyain folded his arms and turned to look at Farda with those milky-white eyes.

“Firmly attached to my body.” Farda sighed when Ilyain continued to stare. “I’m all right.”

They stood there in silence for what must have been hours, teetering on the cliff’s edge, the wind nipping at them. There was a peace in it.

“Before I die, I want to be what I was before,” Farda said finally. “I want to be who I was.”

“I’m not sure you can be.” Tivar drew a sharp breath in, then exhaled. “I’m not sure any of us can. But being better than we are now is a good place to start.”

“They’re probably going to kill us anyway,” Hala said with a shrug. “I’d kill us.”

Ilyain frowned.

“I follow where you both go,” Hala said, sighing through her nostrils. “I trust Ilyain’s heart a lot more than I do my own.”

Farda nodded slowly. He touched at his pocket reflexively, feeling for the coin that should have sat there. He pulled his hand away as soon as he realised what he was doing. “Are you three going to watch over me forever?”

“Only until I think you won’t try to hurl yourself off the edge or drown yourself in a pool,” Tivar answered. She had never been one to shy away from things.

“I won’t.”

“What changed?”

Farda gave a half-smile, then looked down over the edge. “Little… but you were right.”

“And what was I right about?”

“A great many things,” Farda said, mustering as genuine a smile as he could for his old friend while Ella’s pain-filled eyes floated in his mind. “It is never too late to make the right choice,” he said, repeating Tivar’s words from the night she had pulled him from the rock pool. “The last few centuries of my life have been pointless. They have been dark and empty, and I let myself become the thing that I hated. I would prefer if my death meant something. If I could, in some small way, ease the suffering I’ve caused. Then, at least, I can find Shinyara again with a heart that holds a little light in it. I would like to be worthy of her again.”

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