Page 64 of Beg the Night

NINETEEN

sinner

Powerless? What a load of shit.

I could have been convinced that I’d imagined it the first time, but as she came undone in the shower, it was unmistakable. I could feel her. Her magic. Her…whatever the hell it was that pulsed within her.

Did she know? Could she feel how close she was to exposing herself to me? Or was she oblivious to the magic? Blind to the reality that it was seeping into me, becoming part of me?

Either way, I had to keep my distance from her. I nearly asked her about it in the shower, but she was too flustered, too…damn, I don’t even know. I had fucked this all up by touching her. She hadn’t been with a man before, and I was the last one who should be touching her, tainting her. Someone like me would ruin her forever.

And the more time I spent with her, the more I didn’t want her to crumble into ruins.

That was a deep personality flaw I would be assessing later. For now, I had to clear my head. My power buzzed under my skin after being so close. Still soaked, I stormed out of the bathroom, uncaring of who saw me.

All I cared about was getting control of myself. We were too close to the end to lose it all now. Though, now that Mags was gone, I’d considered turning the entire underground to rubble, taking all of these monsters out with me.

I’d considered it for a very, very long time.

But we had two days left. After that, I could make a new plan. Find a new path. Maybe I could even get the rest of them out of here before the next blood moon, before anyone else was forced to?—

I stopped myself before the thoughts continued.

How many times would I have to learn that lesson?

I laid on my cot, soaking it in the process, and shut my eyes. I stayed like that until Athena’s presence forced my eyes open again.

She was minding her own business, yet she commanded my attention. Controlled every ounce of it.

“You’re staring,” she whispered. She dropped her boots on the floor and lay on her back with her fingers intertwined over her stomach, head turned so she could effectively glare at me.

I glared right back. “No, I’m not.”

“You are. It’s weird.”

“I’m not staring and it’s not weird. I’m watching you so I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m lying in bed doing absolutely nothing. So you can stop watching me now.”

God, she was infuriating. Even the taste of her on my lips irritated me, but it drove my power absolutely mad. I choked it back, pushed it deep, deep down, funneled away with the darkest parts of myself where I locked it up tight.

But Athena made those locks crack. Made those chambers of my soul slowly crumble, made the walls shake with a need for release.

And it was very, very dangerous.

I pulled my book from under my pillow and flipped it open. It was the same ragged paperback I’d pretended to read for months. The pages were torn and rippled at parts, but I scanned the pages anyway, memorizing the shapes of the letters. I’d never learned how to read. I wouldn’t dare ask anyone here. But at least it gave me something to look at when every part of me wanted to look ather.

My attempt to ignore her backfired within seconds.

“What’s that book you’re always reading?”

At first, I ignored her. It seemed like a reliable plan. But when she shifted in her cot, propping herself up on her side so it was clear I had her full attention, it was nearly impossible to tune her out.

I tried. I swear to fuck I did. But she waited, her gaze burning into me.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on. What’s it about?”