Page 74 of Homecoming

“I get the impression that you’re deeply concerned about something—maybe you’re not sure you’ll make it back onto the team?”

“I don’t see why not. If I get through this evaluation next week, I’m home and dry, but… yeah, I guess I would admit I am a little apprehensive. I’ve been outta the loop for a long time now and there’s a lot riding on this. I need to be cleared to operate so I can train with the team, get my weapons permit back, as well as my license to practice medicine on the base. It’s a huge deal. I feel like I have so much to prove and despite what I initially put in to qualify for the team, I now have to prove myself all over again.”

“But like you say, you’re fine and it’ll be a breeze. Just a formality, right?”

“I hope so.” Kat smiles as she sips from her own hot cup of coffee.

“So why then don’t you sound convinced? What... Don’t you think you’ll pass?”

“If I’m honest,” Kat swallows nervously and looks up, “no. No, I don’t. I uh…” she wipes a tear from her cheek, “I’ve been a little on edge recently and Noah, he… well, he’s worried about me. Between him and Riley, they persuaded me to come and meet up with you today. They both think I should talk to someone—to you. And if that’s what they both think, then maybe I’d be a fool to ignore them.”

“Well, I do know how worried my son has been about you and I have to say after speaking with you now, I think he’s right to have concerns.”

“So what do I do then? I want back on the team so very much. Can you help me to do that? Tell me what I need to do to get through this assessment.”

“Straight outta the gate… you need to address what’s worrying you so that you can let go of it and heal.”

“Yeah, that’s easier said than done. I’m worried about everything: my pups getting taken, about Evelyn, what her future holds and what will happen to her?” Kat’s hand trembles as she places the cup back on the table.

“Kat, we all worry about our pups. Me… you, every damn mom I’ve ever known. We just want the best for them. It’s the reason I didn’t like you so much, even though I didn’t know you.” Alana smiles and sits back as Kat stares at her. “It’s because I wanted the best for my son. Even though he’s all grown up, I still worry about him. When he first met you, I tried very hard to dissuade him from seeing you again. I didn't consider you a suitable choice. You dragged a young man, a shifter, into a wolf’s world and I thought you were playing with his emotions—using the way he felt about you, for your own gain. I thought it was your way of making two alphas jealous, and Riley was your puppet. I want the best for both my sons and so I wanted him to stay away from that kind of life. When he got physically hurt as a direct consequence, I blamed you, but I also blamed myself for not protecting him more. Now, I see I couldn’t protect him, not all the time, and he has to make his own mistakes. That wasn’t on me. How he felt and what he wanted… that was on him. It will be the same for your pups.”

“I’m sorry that I made you feel like that, but believe me, I would never want to hurt Riley. I truly did have…dohave… genuine feelings for him. When I first met him I wanted so much to be with him, but something… well, there’s always been something that meant we couldn’t take our relationship beyond friendship and it’s not because he’s a shifter. The connection between us was never about us being physically involved—I swear, we never did cross that line. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love him because I really,reallydo. We have a very special bond between us, but the difference is Riley is a grown man and Evelyn is just a small pup. I’ve already made one huge error of judgement which she’s going to be paying the rest of her life for. Alana…” Kat hesitates as she nervously shuffles in her seat. “Evelyn can’t shift. Me leaving and birthing her in wolf form… I didn’t think it through properly and now… now she can’t shift into her human form. She’s going to be stuck as a wolf for forever.”

“Oh Kat… Kat, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that. But how? How has that happened? I thought you and Digby… I mean, she’s a pure wolf… a Blood Luna like youself. So then why are you so sure that she can’t shift?”

“She won’t ever be able to shift because she’s not… Please, if I tell you this, then it has to remain strictly confidential.”

“Yes, I told you what you tell me today stays with me. I don’t share what I know about my clients.”

“It’s just I have no one else to discuss this with. The guys don’t seem to understand how I feel… maybe because deep down, I don’t think they believe me. Noah seems to, but I know Digby… and certainly Darius don't. I can see it in their eyes that they don’t really believe it's true or more they don’t want to. Alana… swear under oath you'll not repeat what I tell you.”

“Kat, one-hundred percent—I give you my word that what we discuss here today remains between us.”

“Digby... he's not Evelyn's real wolf father. I believe… no, I know… Darius is.”

“Darius?” Alana’s frown deepens. “How can Darius be her father? I didn’t think he was a wolf anymore. I mean, that’s what Riley has told me. He told me he was turned, so then surely he can’t father a child—how is that possible?”

“I know it sounds like a fantasy tale. And I don’t know exactly how,” Kat shrugs, “but it happened. I think it might have been something to do with me being a Blood Luna: the timing, the super moon, the whole thing, I think it was meant to be. Like fate intervened and made it happen. I didn’t get a chance to finish reading it, but several months ago I read part of an old book and it had a section which told of vampire children born to humans and the even rarer phenomenon of…” she looks around and hushes her voice, “vampire wolf pups. Pups like Evelyn, whose fathers were turned in the way Darius was.”

“Wow!” Alana gasps in astonishment. “Well, that sure makes for quite a tale. But if that were true, it would make Evelyn an extremely rare wolf… almost a freak of nature.”

“Just like Riley,” Kat smiles.

“Like what?” Alana sits straight in her seat. “Kat, what did you mean by that?”

“Oh, nothing... well, nothing bad. It’s how Riley describes himself—as a freak of nature—and it’s why the guys gave him the nickname freak-shifter.”

“Oh… Oh I see.” Alana sips the last of her coffee and, lost in thought, places the cup on the saucer.

“Why, what did you think I meant?” Kat frowns. “Alana, what else could I have possibly meant?”

“Oh nothing, I misheard you, that's all. Would you like a refill? Or maybe another slice of cake?”

“Uh… no, I’m okay, thanks. And thank you for listening. I haven’t been able to tell anyone outside of the pack about this, but I feel like I can be honest with you. Like there’s some distant kind of connection and it feels good to unload.”

“You’re right. It is nice to be able to talk and I can see already it's doing you good to release some of the pressure. Professionally, I call it ‘unleashing the genie from the bottle’, and I can see the weight lifting from your aura.”

“Maybe. I have an awful lot of stuff going around in my head. I keep it all pretty much bottled up inside because I don’t want to worry the guys. They’re not so good at sharing their feelings—they’re better now than they were, but… Noah gets me more than Darius or Digby. The emotional side of our relationship is harder for them to understand. On the physical side... well, they’re wolves and so their sex drive is much more instinct driven. That's where Noah struggles. He likes to be more intimate. He’s inexperienced and much less comfortable displaying his sexual prowess. You don’t know this, but when we first met, Noah was a virgin. I mean, he has to have been the oldest virgin ever,” Kat laughs. “But he’s so deep and in-tune with his emotions. Out of the three, he's the one who truly understands me. What we have is on a different level to Digby or Darius and it’s like he feeds my soul rather than just meeting my physical needs. He’s been there for me through this whole ordeal, but I don’t want to keep putting the burden of my emotions on him. I need to learn to deal with them myself.”

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