Page 21 of Homecoming

“Uh…” he swallows nervously and scratches the back of his neck, looking at Oz and Bud as they snigger. “Not exactly. She uh… she punched me in the chest and said it was a load of bullshit and that I was to tell you that you could sleep on the couch tonight. Sorry, man, I did try.”

“Fuck…. Could you not get QT to talk to her? I mean, he always seems to know how to charm her.”

“Uh, not exactly. I uh… I told him what you said to say about theweddin’—aboutcallin’it off and… well, he kinda said the same thing as Kat—I guess I’ll call shotgun on the couch?”

“Oh…that’s justfuckin’great,” Digby sighs. “Well, what the hell—lets go kick up a storm with these fuckers instead. I guess we can’t get in anymore trouble tonight, right?” He turns around and looks back at the house where he can now see Darius standing on the steps to the porch, watching them. “Well, not too much more,anyways.”

“Andthereitwas…like a big round fuzzy shape… it passed in front… in front of the moon…Wow...Wow, it’sblockin’out the light… the moon's gone out! Oh my God, the moon’s gone!”

“What the fuck? Zak, what the fuck are youtalkin’about, man?” Digby snorts a laugh and settles on the ground, his back against the tree as he looks to where Zak gestures a hand towards the sky.

“That… that spaceship, or is it a rocket?” Zak rambles.

“It’s afuckin’cloud! Zak, what the hell…? How much of this damn stuff have you drunk?”

“I don’t know… but that’s the besttastin’liquor I’ve had in a long time. You know, I’m gonna miss it… Doing this when I’m married. Chillin’ out with you. Usbein’wolves. I’m gonna miss a lot of things when I walk down the aisle.”

“Such as what exactly?” Digby sniffs, taking another slug of liquor from the ceramic flagon. “What will you miss? Certainly not sex, that’s for sure. Hell, you two fuck more than rabbits.”

“Well, for one thing, I’m gonna miss boobs: big, soft and squishy…boobs.” Zak leans back and grins. “Yeah, tits man, I am so gonna miss those the most. I mean, QT… oh man, he has such a great body and his dick, yeah that’s the best dick I ever had but…Mm…” Zak places his hands into the air and squeezes his finger closed, “there’ssomethin’about tits that I really love.”

“Yeah,” Digby sighs wistfully and closes his eyes. “Yeah, Kat has great tits—really great. I love her tits. You think she’s ever gonna let me see them again?”

“Nah… but you’re right, she really does have good tits.” Zak smiles, his eyes almost closed in the state between being drunk and being asleep.

“Hey…” Digby slaps him hard in the chest, “shut the fuck up! I don’t wanna hear you talking about Kat’s tits ever again. Zak do you hear me? Hello… Earth to Zak!”

“Uh… yeah. Sorry I… you were… oh hell,” he bursts into an extreme fit of giggling laughter, “… I don’t knowanythin’anymore. All I do know is if I marry QT… I’m gonna miss tits. Oh andhavin’pups. I mean, I won’t be able to have pups—like you do.”

“Zak is that why you wanna put theweddin’off?Cuzyou want a pup? Hell, when have you ever wanted pups?”

“I dunno. But I’ve been thinking about it lately and what if I do want one? If I marry QT, then… Oh man, I think my head is going to explode. Yeah, my head hurts and… Oh…Oooh, I can’t feel my tongue. What the hell is in that liquor? Wait… I can’t feel my legs now. Oh my God… I can’t feel my dick!” he looks down and grabs at his crotch. “Digby… my dick’s not working!Oh holy shit… Oh hell, what if never works again?”

Digby laughs in a completely unnatural way. It sounds like the repetitive cry of a hyenaanddespite his best efforts, he can’t stop. The more he laughs, the more he wants to.

The noise starts Zak in a high-pitched helium-sucking squeal. “Oh, what the hell? Oh my God, this is some kind offuckery. Maybe this stuff is turning us into hyenas?”

“What…” Digby can’t stop laughing as he slumps further down the tree in a heap.

“Yeah that… thatMi-mi—Mikah, he uh… he’s some witch-doctor type, right?” Zak struggles to focus as his brain fogs and words slur. “I mean, we saw himdoin’thatchantin’and what was that he wasthrowin’in the fire? Please tell me you saw that, and I’m not just crazy?”

“No, I saw it and he’s asha…sha… shaman. I think he wasdoin’a chant to… OhhellI don’t know, maybe to send evil spirits away? Maybe those hyenas got freaked out when Darius and Noah came to check on us earlier.”

“What the fuck? Darius came to check on us?” Zak scowls. “Diggs, you could have told me that… You know, maybe we should go back to the house?”

“Zak you spoke to him—to Darius you talked to him.” Digby rolls on the floor and laughs, “and anyway… I can’t. I can’t,cuzI can’t walk. Did you see that look on Darius’face? Yeah, well, there’s no way in hell I amgoin’back to the house just yet. Hell no. No. Uh-uh, no way. Do you want some more of this?” He holds up the liquor and watches as Zak drains the last of the liquid inside.

“I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to get hard again after this.”

“Well, I bet I can make you hard,” Digby grins.

“You?” Zak laughs and spits the liquor from his mouth. “You think you can make me hard? Hell, I don’t think so. No way. No, the only wolf that can get me hard these days is QT.”

“Well, I’ll bet I can if I give you one of my special lap dances.”

“What the hell?” Zak sits straightandleaning over, stares Digby in the face. “Okay, you’re on. Fifty bucks says you can’t—get me hard.”

“No. No way am Igivin’you a lap dance for fifty bucks. Gimme your car then I will.”

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