Page 71 of Connected

“Shit…” Digby sighs as he turns from watching the house to check the street. Looking down the empty cul-de-sac, he sees Zak and QT in the doorway watching. “All right, come with me. This way, we’ll go to Bud’s place, go on go.”

He ushers her quickly down the sidewalk towards the open door of Bud and QT’s house.

“Hey, so what the fuck’s goin’ on? What’s she doin’ here?” Zak questions.

“We need to talk, and I can’t have Kat see her, so can we talk in here? Look, she lost her pup.”

“Oh hell, that’s pretty awkward right now. Do you want us to go?”

“Yeah. Zak, do me a favor, go to my house. Make sure Kat stays there and that she don’t come lookin’ for me, just while I talk to Rosie. And QT, can you take that book back? Here, this is the key to Kat’s office. Just get it back before she notices it’s missin’, thanks.”

QT sighs and picks up his pants—he snarls at Zak about the intrusion; Zak shrugs a silent apology and they both glare at Digby.

“Seriously man, your love life is really screwin’ up mine right now. You need to sort this shit out.”

“Yeah, I’m tryin’. Just do as I asked and keep Kat there. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Zak huffs a loud growl of annoyed frustration as he grabs up his tee-shirt from the back of the chair. Turning a semi-dressed QT around, they both leave.

“Rosie, I really can’t do this with you right now. You know I’m with Kat and she won’t let me do that again. I’m sorry I can’t be with you.”

“But you have to. You don’t understand, Papa’s blamin’ me. He says it’s because I didn’t shift like a proper wolf. Because I wanted to have the pup like this—as a woman. But really I did it because I wanted to see Samuel and I didn’t wanna be away from home that long. Oh, I don’t expect you to understand and I guess you think I should have shifted too—been a wolf? Digby, I’m not used to bein’ a wolf, not all that time. Now Papa’s sent Samuel away to a medical school outta state. He said he was distractin’ me from being a good pack leader’s daughter. He says I can’t see him again until after I have another pup. That has to be with you. I have to do this for the community and for the pack. He said the pack needs this.”

“He said what?” Digby paces, clawing a hand through his hair. “Rosie, you don’t have to do what Ezra says. Your father is just bein’ an asshole. You don’t have to do this, period. You’re a grown-ass woman now and you make your own decisions.”

“No, you don’t understand. I do have to do this, or he’ll never let me see Samuel again. He also said he’ll send Sam’s parents away. That they must leave the community. Diggs, they have nowhere else to go and wolves disowned by a pack—have nothing. He says that will be my fault for bringing shame on them.”

“Oh my God, that man, I could seriously…” he growls with rage. “Rosie, I wish I could help you; I really do. And at any other time, I would. But right now… I really can’t. Kat, she’s… This is just not the right time.”

“Diggs, please. Please, I’m beggin’ you. We could sneak away at the next full moon. You don’t even have to tell Kat. I promise I won’t say a word. As soon as I know I’m in heat, I’ll meet with you and she’ll never know.”

“But she will know. Like she’ll know I’ve seen you now. Fuck.” He takes a breath, rubbing his head as he paces the room. “All right, here’s what we do. You go back to the commune and I’ll come over later. I’ll speak to Ezra and I’ll explain things. Rosie, I’ll make him understand and I’ll tell him it’s not your fault. I promise I’ll sort it out and I’ll make it right with your father. He can’t hold this over you.”

“But I’ve shamed them. Mama says it’s because I tried to bemodern—by not shifting but I just wanted to be like a normal person. Friends of mine who moved away, hardly ever shift. Why is it so wrong that I wanna be normal?”

“Hey, it’s not wrong. It’s just… it’s Ezra. He lives in a different world. He’s tryin’ to hold on to what he believes in. You not shiftin’ that’s not why you lost the pup. That’s just an old wolves’ tale. It’s probably just nature. It wasn’t the right time and sometimes these things happen.”

“Diggs, you can’t mean that. Please, you have to help me. Don’t you care about me?”

“Sure, I care, and believe me, I’m really sorry, but I can’t do what you want. Like I told you, go back and I’ll come later. I promise I’ll talk Ezra around and I’ll make it right.” He kisses her tear-stained cheek and ushers her to the door.

“Digby I’m sorry if I let you down.”

“Hey, you didn’t let me down. Rosie, come here.” He wraps his arms around her, resting his chin on her head; comforting her, he sighs loudly and closes his eyes. “Don’t worry, it’s all gonna be okay.”

Chapter 21

Closing her eyes, Kat tries desperately to shut out the deafening howl in her head and for a second time, she holds the small white pill to her lips. Again, her body shakes violently and her hands tremble as she battles Luna’s refusal to allow her to swallow the medication.

In the same way, a wolf will not let its human take its own life, so Luna now denies Kat this.

“Argh… will, you shut the fuck up!” She screams in frustration and the pill slips from her fingers and drops to the floor. “Shit.” She curses. Turning around, she scours the floor to see where it dropped. Accidentally catching her elbow on the tumbler of water, she knocks it from the countertop—smashing glass around her feet.

“Oh, fuck it!” She again curses, scrabbling onto the tiles to clean up.

“I sure as hell hope that’s not me your talkin’ to?”

“Zak! Shit um… um no, uh I… I—” She looks up from where she’s crouched, and he can tell from the shocked expression and raised eyebrows that his sudden arrival has startled her. “What the hell’re you doing here? I thought you and Digby were getting some food and doing ‘boy things’ tonight?”.

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