Page 93 of Connected

Looking up, there’s a sound of singing and follows it to the bathroom and slowly pushing the door, he can see Kat; head back laying in the bath, eyes closed, earphones in—she mutters along with the music.

“Hey there,” he calls over the sound.

She opens her eyes and smiles then pulling the earphones from her ears, sits up. “Oh hey… sorry I didn’t hear you come in. Did you only just get back?”

“Um-hm yeah, just now.” He can see the rise of her eyebrow and nervously he swallows. “Sorry, I should’ve called, but things got, well a little out-of-hand and I mislaid my phone. But is everythin’ all right, yeah?”

“Uh-huh, yeah, it’s fine. So, where were you? Cos I have to say you look a little rough around the edges—well,morethan a little.”

“Yeah, I… I went to the club and if I’m honest, it was a pretty heavy night even for me.”

“Why, what happened?”

“Oh hell, you wouldn’t believe it if I told ya. Look I’m uh, gonna take a shower and then grab somethin’ to eat cos I’m starvin’.”

“So, I don’t get an explanation? You’re not even gonna try and explain where you’ve been all night? I mean it’s six-thirty in the morning but you’re not gonna say a word about that?”

“I told you I was at the club. And yeah, I was thereallnight. Rhys had an after-hours party and things; well like I said, they got a little crazy. One drink leads to another and then… Boom! Before I knew it—it was daylight. Sorry, I know I should’ve called.”

“Yeah, you should. We needed to talk.”

“I know. And to be honest, the way my head feels I wish I’d stayed home but I needed some space—some time to think things through. Me and Rhys we—”

“Did you fight with Rhys again?”

“No. No, it was much worse than that. No, we… we did karaoke.” Again, he sees the hitch of an eyebrow, and the crease lines deepen on her forehead. “Yeah, I know what you’re thinkin’ but it’s athingthat we do—did—in the past, when we wanted to ignore our problems. See, I told ya, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—you and Rhys? I mean normally you don’t even talk to your brother, but now you want me to believe you did karaoke together? It doesn’t make any sense. But… I guess if that’s what you’re telling me, then I have to believe it, right?”

“Kat I’m tellin’ ya because it’s the truth—I’m not lyin’. I promise, on my life I’m not lyin’. Okay, all right, if you want me to be totally honest then…. here’s me bein’ honest: Yeah, there were some girls there, and yeah for a moment—just a moment—I did think about fuckin’ one of them but when it came down to it, I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it cos all I could think about was you. I knew then that you were the only one I wanted—want—to be with. Kat, I don’t need anyone else and I’m gonna work on gettin’ through this—make this whole situation work. Whatever you want, we’ll make it work. But I swear to you, on my honor, I didn’t fuck anyone else.”

He takes a breath, watching as she gives a disapproving scowl. “Okay, so I guess I’ll take that shower then?”

“Mm-hm,” she nods. “I guess you should do that. I tell you what, give me a minute to get finished up here and I’ll leave you to it.” She takes a deep breath nervously biting her lip and flits her eyes upwards looking at him. “Ryan, I’m sorry. What I did, was wrong. If nothing else I should have talked to you about it first and not just made a decision like that without discussing it. I can see now that was wrong, but I was just—”

“No Kat, I’m sorry too. I… you just took me by surprise—that you would do something like that. I got angry when maybe I should have been more understandin’ of the situation. So, I am sorry too. I guess we’re not so good at this adult stuff, like talkin’ things through, right?”

“No, I guess not. Probably would have saved us a lot of drama if we’d just talked. The thing is, I was scared—afraid you’d talk me out of it and I couldn’t see any other options.”

“Yeah, I get that. I mean this is a heavy load on you—you have to do this—it affects you more than me. That’s why this idea, with Rosie, could really work out. It could be the best thing for all of us.”

“Yeah, I guess it could. I mean I thought about it—a lot. While you were doingkaraokeI had a whole lot of time to think about the future. If this is really what you want—that you want this pup, then maybe you’re right. I mean it’s kinda like adoption and people do that all the time. And if he stays at the commune, then there’s nothing to say we can’t still see him? I mean if Rosie agreed to it, we could have some access but mostly we all get what we want.”

“Yeah. I understand it’s gonna be hard, but I really think it will work. You know I’ve never had a meaningful opportunity to be in my kid’s lives before—not with their moms all shiftin’ and then going back to their packs. The kids, their lives didn’t include me—hey, I’m just the alpha, right? The best I can hope for is the occasional photo and an odd visit. But this time it could be different, really different. This time I could be part of it.”

“And all this interest, it has nothing to do with it being a boy this time?” she smiles.

“Well, I gotta admit that was a small bonus but no it’s not that. It’s just a relationship with you seemed so perfect; like fate handed us this and so havin’ a pup didn’t seem so bad. But now I see I was askin’ you to give up a helluva lot and you’re not ready for that. So, this solution gives us the best of both worlds.”

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

She kneels up in the bath and takes his hand in hers; leaning over the side as he bends down and kisses her. “But Digby, if we’re gonna do this—if I agree to do this for you—then I need you to do something for me. I need you not to tell anyone, at least not yet. And I meanno-one.You need to get Zak to stay quiet too, I’ll tell Darius when I have to, if I tell him now then he’ll have to tell Edwards, and he’ll stand me down. There’s no need for that—not yet—I’ll be fine for at least a few months, and besides, there’s no way I can sit around here all day doing nothing, not for that long. So, promise me, we can keep this just between us? And I promise, as soon as I can’t do it anymore, then I’ll tell Darius and stand down myself.”

“You didn’t tell him already?”

“No. Why? Did you think I would??”

“I didn’t know but I… I think I mighta accidentally told Rhys—last night’s drunken sprawl—but he won’t say anythin’”

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