Page 65 of Connected

“It’s okay, just take your time. Trust me, it can’t be anything I haven’t dealt with before.”

“I know, but you’re my friend, and well… it’s embarrassing. It’s also embarrassing that I could have been so fucking stupid—me being a medic. I don’t know where the hell my brains have been recently, but I’ve been doing some really stupid shit. It’s like I’ve been someone else—possessed by someone else. I’ve let my instincts rule my head and this is why I don’t do the wolf stuff; why I keepherlocked away. Luna makes me unpredictable—like I’m out of my own control. Sorry, sorry, I’m rambling now.”

“Hey, just take your time. It’s okay, you know I’m here for you. I’ve told you before, I’m always here for you. Now, what do you need me to do?”

He wraps his arms around her, and Kat snuggles against the comfort of his chest, and the delicious scent of his aftershave fills her nostrils. She closes her eyes and relaxes. “I think I might have a tear—a laceration—down there. I need you to check to see if it’s all okay and uh… then I need you to do something else. But I don’t want you to hate me for asking. I have my reasons and I just need help, not a lecture.”

“Do you want me to do a pregnancy test, to see if you’re pregnant?”

“Um, not exactly. No, I already checked that before I came. It’s not like you have the right testing kit, anyway. Riley just hear me out, I don’t know how you’re gonna feel about this, but I really need you to help me because I can’t do it on my own. I can’t have this pup—I just can’t.”

“Oh, okay, so what do you want from me? You know you can ask me anything and I’ll try and help you.” He strokes her head, then gently brushes a kiss onto her lips, “Just ask me?”

Kat continues to snuggle close. Gripping him tightly, she can’t look at him. “I need you to write me a prescription—for an abortion pill.”

“A what?” Riley steps back and holding her at arm’s length he looks her in the eyes. “You want what? Oh my… Kat, have you thought this through?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I have. I’ve thought about nothing else for the past few days and I’ve decided. Riley, I can’t do this—have a pup. My entire career will be finished and—”

“Whoa, wait… have you talked this over with Digby first, before you came here? Because I gotta say, from what I know of him, I’m not sure he’d be on board with this.”

“No, not exactly. I mean, it’s not his decision, right? I’m the one who has to do it—have it. And it’s me that will be giving up everything, not him. He’ll just carry on as if nothing happened, but me, well, I have to give up everything. What, for a pup—a baby—I don’t even want? I never wanted to have pups—well, at least not yet. I never meant for this to happen it was just a stupid, stupid mistake. Yeah, I should have known better, and trust me, I wouldn’t involve you if I didn’t have to, but as you know I can’t write my own prescription for this. It’s a licensed medication and… you’re the only person I’d trust. I can’t go through the base medics and involve the military. There’d be way too many questions. Please Riley, please I don’t have anyone else to ask. The alternative… well, there are consequences to that. Please, I need you to help me, so will you?”

“Oh, Kat… I don’t know what to say. I mean, what if Digby finds out about this—that I helped you? Oh my God, he’ll be so pissed. He was mad enough before, but… this. And to tell you the truth, personally, I… I don’t know how I feel about it. But you should go and think it over some more. Give it a week or two and then decide and if your decision is the same, then I’ll help you.”

“No, I don’t need to think anymore. Please, Riley, I need to get back to work and do my job. I really thought you would get it; I mean you must help women every day to do this—just treat me like one of them.”

“Kat, I am trust me, but I’m here to help women have babies, healthy babies. I don’t make decisions like this on a whim.” He takes a deep breath and sighs, watching as a large crystal tear drips from her cheek.

“Riley, it’s not a whim. I know what I’m doing, I’m just asking for your help.”

“Oh, you know, I will—I’ll help you. You’re my friend and I wasn’t being fair. You’re right, I would help someone else if that’s what they really wanted. And I think you know what you want. I just feel a little uncomfortable with this.”

“Look, you just have to write the prescription and I’ll do the rest myself. You don’t have to be involved in it. Just get me the prescription. Oh hell… I shouldn’t have come here; it was stupid and a lot to ask of you. I’ll go.”

“Kat, wait. If you really have decided, then I’ll help you. But we need to do it properly. I’ll have a look at you first, then we’ll take it from there.”

“Thank you. I really wish I didn’t have to ask, but there’s no one else who would understand.”

“Come here,” holding her close, he strokes a hand down her hair to comfort her. “How the hell did you get in a mess like this? I thought you’d know to take precautions?”

“I took precautions, but something happened—on a mission. I got attacked, and without going into details… this cut on my arm is where my implant was. I didn’t get around to replacing it. I know… dumb, right? I never thought about the full moon and me coming in heat—big lesson learned.”

“Yeah, kinda dumb for a medic, but you won’t be the first,” he smiles. “I take it you have you told Digby; you think you’re pregnant? So, what will you tell him about this—about there being no baby? Do you think he’ll understand?”

“What, that I ended the pregnancy? No, no, he won’t understand that. Digby’s an alpha and in his mind, he’s here to procreate—that’s his purpose. Hell, he’s already pissed with me because I wouldn’t shift for the duration—that I wouldn’t have the pup as a wolf. So, no, he’d never understand, and I don’t think he’d ever forgive me either. But… wolf pregnancies have a higher rate of miscarriage, so… I’ll just give it a couple of weeks and then—”

“And then you’ll lie to him, by telling him you miscarried? Kat, I really think you need reconsider—”

“Riley, please don’t lecture me. I already feel bad enough and trust me, if there was any other way… but there isn’t. If I could give him what he wants, I would. I love my job too much and so it would be impossible. It’s taken me so long to get this position on the team, I can’t give up on that dream now and I won’t. I’m not like the boys; I can’t just go around putting pups in the world and then carry on—it doesn’t work like that for me. The minute command finds out I’m pregnant, I’ll be gone from the team. Anyway, what the hell am I gonna do with a pup? I’m just not ready for all that right now.”

“Okay, well then I’ll help you, on one condition. Digby… he can’t know it was me. You can’t tell him I had anything to do with this. Hell, he went mad before; this would tip him over the edge. I know that sounds selfish, but… he scares me.”

“Okay, sure. I understand. Anyway, you’re right, he would go mad. I promise I won’t tell him. We’ll keep this between us.”

“Did you tell him you came here today?”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, I told him, said I needed you to check me over. That’s not a lie. So, if he asks, then you can tell him that.”

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