Page 61 of Connected

She stumbles to her feet in a numb daze, as a dull throb aches between her legs and a mixture of bodily fluid and blood coats the inside of her thighs.

“Kat, I’m so sorry. Believe me, if I had any idea that would happen, I would never have—”

“It’s not your fault. This is on me and I should have been more careful. After Alvarez took my implant, it was on me to make sure I got it replaced, especially being so close to a full moon. But to be honest with everything that happened when we got back, I never thought about it. I know that’s no excuse, we should have used other protection. Oh hell, I could kick myself right now. I’m a fuckin’ medic and I should know better than this—it’s fuckin’ embarrassing.”

She turns from the doorway. Her face is a smeared mess of tears, eyeliner, and streaked foundation. Her hair a messy tangle hanging around her sweating, flushed face. “Digby, what the hell are we gonna do?”

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Digby eases himself gently into the chair. “We’ll sort this. Kat, go take a shower and try not to think about it. Give me a minute and I’ll clear this away and then we’ll try’n get some sleep. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Go on—go.” He smiles, watching as the forlorn Kat, slow traipses to the bathroom.

Allowing the water of the shower to run much too hot temperature, she uses it to punish herself for her own stupidity. Sobbing uncontrollably, the sound is hidden by the whoosh of water.

“Kat…” Digby knocks gently; it’s been quite some time since he heard the water stop, and now he can hear nothing as he listens outside the door. “Kat, are you okay?” He takes a breath, then pushing it open he peers inside and can see her slumped on the floor, clutching her knees to her chest, quietly crying. “Hey, baby… Oh, c’mon let’s get you up and go to bed.”

He bends down, grimacing from the pain in his groin—the knot means his balls are now covered with black and blue bruising. Taking her in his arms, he gently lifts her to her feet and wraps a large fluffy bath towel around her. Holding her tight against his chest, he wipes the tears from her cheek and kisses her.

In the bedroom, he folds back the quilt and ushers her into the soft-warm comfort of their bed. Turning around to leave, he feels the grab of Kat’s hand on his arm. “Digby, please… don’t leave me alone. Stay here and hold me.”

“Hey… hey, it’s okay. I won’t.” He smiles as he climbs in next to her and gripping his arm around her waist, he pulls her close. Holding her tight, he nuzzles his mouth against the bonding mark on her neck and gently kisses her.

She closes her eyes and absorbs the smell of his scent. “What the hell are we gonna do?”

“Oh, Kat… I don’t know. But for now, you need to go to sleep.” He kisses the top of her head. “I told you, we’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

Taking his hand in hers, she holds him tight. The tears continue to roll slowly down her cheeks and keeping her eyes closed, she snuggles close to him.

He closes his eyes and listening to her slow deep breaths, he brushes his lips gently against her face. His hand caresses slowly down her side and over her stomach, and whilst outwardly he’s showing concern for the situation, there’s something inside which makes him smile.

Chapter 18

“Hey, do you want somethin’ to eat?” Digby asks as he watches Kat shuffle the correspondence that’s strewn across the countertop.

“Um… no thanks. Well… perhaps just some coffee.”

“You sure? How about some juice instead?”

“No. I said I want coffee,” she snaps, then swiftly adds “thank you” once she realizes how furious she sounds. Staring at the couch, the evidence of last night’s drama is gone. Digby woke early, cleaned the stained covers, and made sure the house was tidy. And with the scene cleaned, Kat sits on the chair and her lip curls with a grimace as the tear between her legs hurts. The rest of her body is numb, and she’s still in shock—having hardly slept, she sips from the mug filled with hot caffeine in the hope it will help.

“Kat, we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t. Sorry, but I don’t want to discuss this right now. I need some time, by myself to clear my head. Oh, and Digby, please don’t tell anyone about what happened—not yet, anyway. Promise me you won’t mention this to anyone. I need a little time before you broadcast this, so just don’t okay. What’s happened could change everything for me—tip our world upside down, and I want to be the one to choose when we tell everyone. So please swear you won’t breathe a word about what happened.”

“Um… sure. Okay, I swear, I won’t say anythin’, but we do need to decide one thing. I mean, we’ve—you’ve—only got another couple of days to decide about you shiftin’.”

“What do you mean?” Her thoughts are muddled, and she doesn’t understand what he’s talking about.

“You know, whether you’re gonna shift, to have this pup?”

Kat stands up and bangs the mug on the countertop as she glares at him in open-mouth disbelief. “What the fuck?!Shift…are you fuckin’ serious?”

“Look, I know it feels like it’s a lot to take in right now, but as you know you only have a coupla days until the moon wanes, so, you really need to decide. If you don’t then, you’re not gonna have the opportunity to and you’ll have to have the pup like this. You do understand you can’t shift after—”

“I’m not stupid, and I’m well aware of what I can and can’t do, thank you very much. I don’t need a reminder from you about wolf biology. But what… Oh, oh yeah, I get it… Oh fuck, this just gets better and better. What you want me to shift? Great. So not only am I landed with a pup I don’t want, you want me to be a wolf for fuckin’ months?”

“Five… it’s five months, that’s all—if you shift. Kat, if you stay like this, as a woman, it’ll take seven, hell may be up to nine months. Kat, think about this, it’ll be quicker, and you’ll be able to get back with the team so much faster. I mean, if that’s what you want? If you wanna stay home, then I’m happy with that too. And on the upside, as a wolf—it’s much better for the pup. I hear it makes them stronger, gives them a better chance to develop as a wolf and—”

“Oh my God, are you fuckin’ for real? That’s total bullshit. No, no, this is aboutyou… You want me to shift? You’re fuckin’ insane. No, no, I am not shifting. I’m not gonna live as a wolf for five months. For one, where the hell would I go? What, you want me to live out there in the wild, in the fuckin’ forest like some animal and hunt for deer and rabbits? Hmm… Is that what you want? No, fuck you.”

“Kat, that’s not what I meant… well, maybe it is—kinda. You could stay here, and I could take care of you. I mean, I can clear out the spare room and Luna could stay in there. I’ll get meat and feed you, then—”

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