Page 134 of The Fixer

He dropped a kiss on her head. “Tell me.” She told him how she had confronted her sister on the phone. When she was done, he prodded. “How did you feel afterward?”

“It was a strange mix of emotions. I felt free, like I could give myself permission to let go of her without feeling guilty. But I was also sad. And disappointed.”

“Why disappointed?”

“I think that deep down, I was hoping Mary would showsomeremorse, that she might even want to recast our relationship. We’re not biologically related, but we were family once, and we’re the only family we have left. Families are important.”

He rolled to his side and pillowed his arm under his head so he could level his eyes with hers. “Youhavea family. Back in Fall River. You’re not biologically related to them either, but they’re more family than any you’ve described from your past. Hailey, Neve, Amy …they’reyour sisters.”

She rolled to her side and mirrored his pose. “Did you know they’ve been texting me?” He could hear a happy little grin in her tone.

“No, but I’m not surprised. They miss you.Imiss you. The dogs miss you. They’re family too.”

She let out a lung-emptying sigh. “I miss them all too … and you. But my life is here.”

“Yeah? How’s that working out? Are you happier now that you’re back?”

The long silent beats that passed were his answer. When she finally spoke, her voice didn’t carry any conviction. “I’m still trying to get settled in. I’m sure once everything is back to normal …”

“Is that the normal you want for the rest of your life, Joy?”

“What if you came to Chicago?” Excitement rose in her voice. “There are so many historic buildings here. With all the opportunities around, you could grow a really big business.”

“I can’t just close down Past Perfect.”

“Then don’t. Open a second business here.”

“I can’t even find sober laborers to show up when I’m there full-time. How’s that going to work if I’m split between two places that are half a continent apart? I’m one guy.” What he didn’t say was that he had poured too much of himself into Past Perfect Restorations to walk away from it. And what about his dream of restoring Fall River? Who would carry it on if not him?

Sudden sadness overcame him as he caressed stray strands and tucked them behind her ear. “Besides, you and I know I’d be miserable, whichmeans we’d both be miserable.” Walking around the city today had confirmed what he already knew. Chicago was home to almost 2.7 million souls, and he came from a town of six hundred. Hell, the entire county was six hundred! And he liked that about his life.

What they had between them was a case of irreconcilable differences.

“How do you feel about being a kept man?” The quirk of her lips told him she was kidding—mostly.

“Be your sex slave? Tempting … but there’s one big flaw with that idea. It works as a fantasy for one of your books, but not so much in real life. Besides, I’m not interested in being someone’s toy. Not even yours.”

“We both like being in control too much.”

“I don’t want to control you, Joy. Ever. Unless we’re talking about what happens in bed—or the balcony or the kitchen or the conference room or … feel free to throw in any locations I’m missing here.” They both laughed, lightening the smothering shroud that had settled over them. A chance to breathe, if even for a moment. “When it comes to sex, wrestling with you for control is way too much fun to give up. I love the give and take.

“But outside of that, I want to see you in charge of you. I want you to be with me because youwantto be with me, not because you need to be or because it’s convenient or because I say so. And that goes both ways. I don’t want someone tugging on my puppet strings. Does that make sense?”

She gave a barely perceptible nod, and he swore he heard a little sniffle. “Can we not talk anymore?” Her voice was tiny, defeated, and it stripped away a piece of his heart. He was a problem-solver, but he didn’t know how to solve this one.

Down his body her hand snaked until she reached his cock and began stroking him with sensual slides that sent tingles racing up and down his spine. “Talk is overrated anyway,” she whispered in the dim shadows.

He smoothed his hand down her bare flank, over her ass, and pulled her to him. “Yeah, baby, whatever you want. We don’t need to talk.”

He surrendered himself to the distraction she offered … because their dilemma was insurmountable, and he had no clue what to do besides drink in all of her that he could while he could.

Chapter 38

I Am My Own Romance

Dressed only in boxers,Charlie explored Joy’s kitchen, on the hunt for sustenance. After yesterday’s travel, last night’s adventures in the bedroom, and their gut-wrenching reveal—capped off by a rousing wakeup call when Joy slipped under the covers sometime this morning—his body was hollow. Among her fridge’s sparse ingredients, he found fresh packages of sausage, English muffins, and eggs she’d probably bought for his visit rather than for herself. As he brewed a pot of coffee, he pondered asking her if she’d lost weight since she’d left Fall River. Her hip bones had been a little pointier and the ribs extending from her sternum more pronounced. In fact, she appeared more sunken in general. No lie, he was worried about her.

His phone chimed, and he picked it up and grinned. Neve had sent him pictures of Sunny and Luna playing with her dogs in her wooded backyard.

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