Page 10 of Ruthless God

She comes to a stop in the doorway, and I glance up, smiling.

“How’d it go?”

The moment our eyes meet, she makes a face. It’s a subtle scrunch of her nose and a downturn of her lips, as if she’s worried she’s made a mistake.

Yeah. I already know the answer.

“When do you start?” I ask, though part of me already dreads what she’s going to say.

“Tomorrow.” Lili’s gaze locks onto mine, uncertainty flickering in her eyes. “Am I crazy for doing this?”

I don’t answer right away. Instead, I shift forward, reading between the lines. “Talk me through it.”

We move to the living room, settling onto the couch. As she recounts the details of her interview with Dimitri Santos, I listen—really listen—but the deeper she goes, the harder it is to keep my expression neutral.

I try not to judge, I really do. But come on.

Every word, every detail, every too-good-to-be-true promise is setting off alarms in my head. This has red flags all over it.

She finishes and says, “So, that’s where I’m at.”

I think for a moment, trying to figure out what to say without offending her.

“I think it could be a good thing.”

“Do you really think that, or are you just saying it to make me feel better?”

My friend knows me too well, but before I can reply, she says, “I just don’t know if I can leave Raquel for that long. Like, what kind of mother does that make me?”

“It makes you the kind of mother who does what it takes to make sure her kid has a better life.” I pause. “The kind of mother I wish I had.”

Her gaze softens. “Cec…”

“What? We know it’s true on both accounts. You’re a great mother. My mom isn’t.”

“Have you heard from her?”

I should have never told my best friend that my mother emailed me to say she wanted to chat. Yeah. That’s the kind of relationship we have. Weemaileach other. We don’t even text. To add insult to emotional injury, she stood me up. She said something more important came up.

“It’s okay. I know better, right? And I really do think you’re making the right choice by going to work for him. Just don’t fall in love with him.” I stand. “I need to go.”

“Picking up another shift at the coffee shop?”

“Yup,” I answer as I hurry to my room, hating that I feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

I hate lying as much as I hate fighting with my friends.

But, I’m going to do what needs to be done.

The next morning, I wake up to Lili crying. She’s trying to be quiet, but our walls are paper thin. Finally, I get up to comfort her. Harvey is already in there, awkwardly patting her shoulder.

“I can’t do this,” she says, kissing the top of Raquel’s dark head.

Harvey and I share a look. Even though we’re kind-of-fighting, we’re still on the same wavelength. Lili might not want to do this, but she needs to do it. She needs closure.

She says, “What was I thinking? I can’t leave her for three months!”

Harvey says, “Hun, it’s not three months. You even said you can see her on your days off.”

---