Page 36 of The Other Side of Apart
“I’m pre-med,” I answer, nodding.
“Culinary.” Mei’s voice is strong and solid, like she feels next to me. I rub her thigh under the table, and she puts her hand over mine.
“Wow. That’s just great. Just great.” Allen nods, but Olivia leans toward us.
“Or…I could get you both started in the biz.” Her focus shifts from me to Mei and back again. “We could hire you both at the store, and Marcus, you could do shoots on the weekends. I’d love to show you off to my agent. He’ll love your look. He has a type.” She motions toward herself and bursts out laughing from either too much wine or too much of herself. I’m mad at Dad all over again for ever loving her. Even madder at him for telling me she came for graduation. I choke back anger and take a drag on my water.
“Oh. Wow. Yeah, that’s…something I’ve never considered. Or wanted.” I manage a shaky smile. It’s the best I can do when what I wanna do is run. “Thanks for the offer but…not really my thing.”
“Well, it should be.” She flips her hair and adjusts the strap on her dress that shows way more of her than anyone wants to see. “You’re obviously not following in Raymond’s footsteps, so there’s a big old world out there. You too, Mei Li. My agent is always looking for people of color.”
I’ve never shoved food in my mouth as fast as I do when the helper lady sets down a plate of something unidentifiable in front of me.
Olivia smooths her napkin on her lap. “If you two don’t have plans for tomorrow, I’ll take you to the store, and you can meet all my people. It’s in the Fairmont Hotel. I’ll show you a bit of my world. Once you get a glimpse, it will be hard to say no to it.”
Mei stands, tossing Olivia a weak smile as she picks up her plate. “I’m so sorry, but I’m going to call it a night and let you talk. Thank you so much for dinner.” She scoots in her chair and disappears.
I watch her go, wondering what’s wrong, my legs twitching to go after her, but Olivia continues the conversation.
“So how about tomorrow?”
My attention is with Mei, and I wish my body had gone with her, too. “Umm…sure. Yeah,” I answer distractedly. But no way. Not a chance. We won’t be here tomorrow—I’ll make sure of that.
If I’d met Allen somewhere else, some other way, some other time, we’d probably be chill. I like the guy. Just can’t respect him because he’s with Olivia. After dinner, we went back into the white living room, and he’d asked me questions about soccer. Turns out, he played in college. Olivia got bored and scrolled on her phone while Allen and I talked, then interrupted so she could take me on a tour of the house, which could fit 100 Clubhouses inside it. At midnight, I told them I was tired, but instead of heading to the pool house, I came out here on the deck and just…sat. Alone in the dark. Letting my thoughts swirl in all the emptiness between me and the city below.
Less than a day ago, I was on the Stanford soccer field, running plays and living my dream. Now it’s 2 AM, and all my dreams are dead, along with the one where I meet my mom and she’s amazing and loving and wants me in her life. But she decided a long time ago she didn’t. After she’d known me for ten months.
I close my eyes, clenching my jaw against the surge of pain. What did I think she’d be like? A mom who just steps out of the kitchen with freshly baked cookies and milk? Offers to read me bedtime stories? Throws a welcome home party for the son she’s agonized over for eighteen years because “Raymond” intentionally kept us apart? Maybe an apology? A sort-of apology? A hint of one? Didn’t happen. None of it happened. I wish Dad had told me the truth. It would’ve hurt a lot less to killmy dreams when I was young than it does now, after eighteen years of believing one thing and finding out the opposite. Dad’s had eighteen years to settle into the truth that he has terrible taste in women, and I really did derail his life.
I pull out my almost-dead phone and navigate to the Stanford leave of absence form. All I can do is apply, then wait and hope and frantically pray that they accept my excuse: family crisis. I squint at the light beaming from the screen, my fingers stiff but determined to get this thing sent before I head back to the pool house and Mei. I’m not gonna tell her until I know the answer, yes or no. We can’t go back until the Nick thing’s settled anyway, and I wish that was as easy as an application.
I double-check the form and click theSubmitbutton. Now I wait. They’ll either tell me I can freeze my scholarship and my spot on my team or tell me too bad.
I push out of the chair and walk down the lit path to the pool house like I’m at some kind of resort instead of trapped in a busted-up dream. I wanna run from all the debris behind me, the resentment building toward Mei and fear about where we go next because we’re not staying here. I’m disgusted and embarrassed with myself for building Olivia and the Mom Moment up in my head.
I stare at the pool house door, my feet heavy, heart empty. Lamplight streaks through the cut glass on the door. Mei’s on the other side, so why do I feel so alone right now? My hand shakes as I turn the knob and slip inside. I close the door behind me and lean back against it.
Mei’s curled up on the bed, still in her clothes, even though she left a few hours ago. She sits up and swipes at her eyes when I shut the door.
I stop, hand on the knob like it’s gonna hold me up. “You okay?”
She blinks at the ceiling and nods, her lip quivering, and I’m on the bed in two steps, pulling her into my arms. “What happened?”
She cries silently into my chest for a few minutes, her emotions leaking all over mine until we’re clutching each other as we drown. “Talk to me, Mei,” I beg.
“I…” Her voice is pulled under by tears, so I clutch her tighter, and she digs her fingertips into my back. “I didn’t realize that coming back here…I didn’t know it would affect me like this, but it’s too close.”
The words swirl in my head and drop one by one with a thud, kicking up dust, but no answers. “Too close to what?”
“The hotel.” Her sobs deepen.
The hotel. L.A. We’re in L.A. The last time she was here…
“The store Olivia mentioned? In the Fairmont Hotel? That’s the hotel,” Mei chokes. “I can’t go there again.”
I sit back on my legs, holding her by the arms. My throat’s raw from the flow of emotions up and down it all night. “We’re not going there, Mei. We’re leaving.”
“I’ll be fine. We can stay. I just can’t?—”
