The soccer field fades, and my heart tries to beat its way out of my chest when Dad steps out of the car in a V-neck and jeans, his clenched jaw visible from where I stand a few yards away.
My brain throws swear words around, and my legs burn to run in the opposite direction. Fists clenched, I swallow hard, forcing down the hot, frantic heartbeat thumping up my throat.
Dad strides toward the fence, Audrey running after him in a dress and red Converse. The negotiator. She does it every day at work, so why not now, to keep her brother from killing his son? The look on his face is the bullet that could end it all.
There’s nothing for me to blend into or hide behind, so I drag in a deep breath and haul myself slowly toward them. Like I’ve been caught being out past curfew instead of running away from potential criminal charges and Dad’s orders. Getting married—to the girl Dad told me not to even date. No way he could possibly know that, but his fury march suggests otherwise.
My mind digs up words that might talk Dad down from launching his verbal grenade.
Oh!Hey, Dad. How’s it going? It’s been a while. Hope you didn’t mind that I took off. Just needed some time. Distance. You get it, right? Oh, and by the way, I’m married. Yeah…last minute thing. Probably should’ve told you—invited you—but, you know how those things go…
Dad’s eyes slam into mine and practically push me backwards, demanding answers. Not like Mei’s eyes that are a soft, gentle touch, but like…anger and accusation and complete and total disappointment curled into a visual fist.
“Son, what are you doing?” He’s chomping gum like he’s punishing it. “I thought I made myself perfectly clear the last time we talked, but I quickly discovered I was dead wrong.” His anger tumbles out in the thick Southern accent that lays dormant until he’s mad. He fumbles with the gate latch, so amped up his hands shake. “You gonna tell me what’s going on or just expect me to figure it out like I had to figure out where you were the last month?”
I jerk into motion, hurrying toward him, eager to take this explosive scene far away from my coaches and team. I slip around the corner of a neighboring building, and Dad trails me along the fence, right on my heels.
“You gonna keep running from things? That your new thing?”
I whirl around, my body rigid. “I can explain.” But my mind goes static, my heart trying to pump more oxygen to my head and give me every chance to produce words that can actually explain any of this.
“You lied to my face and then you took off, knowing there were criminal charges on the line. With Mei Li Zhang, the one girl I told you to stay away from.” He spits her name out like it’s a bug that’s flown into his mouth. His voice shakes, and I dig mytoes into my cleats, bracing against the anger and hurt behind it, like walking against wind. “Did you think I wouldn’t find you? That I couldn’t figure out where you were since I find missing people for a living?” His jaw pulses, and he steps closer to me. But Audrey squeezes between us, facing Dad, and grabs his upper arm. “Ray, stop before you say something you’ll regret.” Her eyes are throwing darts at him. “Marcus is not the only male standing here who lied, remember that. Right? And maybe if you hadn’t been sofreakishabout keeping him from girls, he would’ve justtoldyou he was dating someone rather than sneaking around and running away with her. If you can’t handle this, I’ll take my car and leave you here to find a ride home. And I’m pretty sure Marcus won’t offer you a ride on his motorcycle.”
I stare at the cement, wishing Audrey didn’t bring up the motorcycle.
Dad explodes, cursing at me. “If you’re man enough to go out on your own, be man enough to look at me and the mess you’ve made of everything!”
My eyes skid through the heavy, tense air and slam into his. “How have I messed up anything for you? What have I ever done that put you out? I’ve never stopped you from doing anything you want and lying to my face about it. You’re just mad because this is the first time I’ve done something I wanna do, and you had nothing to do with it. This isn’t really about me at all—it’s about you, like everything else. Me, making you look good and believing when you said that my mom was the bad guy, never you.” Words that have been sloshing near the surface erupt. “And I never asked questions—never asked to meet her or find out why she really left because I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable. Instead, I did everything just right so you wouldn’t leave too. So I didn’t disappoint you like I somehow disappointed her. Did everything right so you were happy, no matter what I wanted.”
Audrey’s eyes widen, flicking between me and Dad. She’s probably just as disoriented in the explosion as I am.
I swear at the ground, squeezing my eyes shut. The words that just tore out of me leave raw, bleeding spots inside. I’m crumbling under his fury and the hurt and disappointment in his eyes. I wanna give him an explanation—give him some relief. But then I’m mad at myself for caring because he didn’t bother telling me about Kenna and his future plans that didn’t include me, so why should I include him in mine?
I picture Mei’s face during our shower earlier this morning, all lit up and laughing over something I said. I have to protect her. Gotta keep my mouth shut and be okay that Dad and I have our own lives that don’t include each other. I have the life I want. He can have whatever he wants.
“I didn’t sacrifice my lifeso you could wreck yours!” Dad’s voice is quiet now, raspy, like my heated outburst burned his throat.
“Go ahead!” I yell, coming toe to toe with him. “Tell me how stupid and irresponsible I am, but at least I know how to keep a girl.”
He stares at me, his jaw pulsing as he looks across the field, back at me. “You think it’s my fault your mom walked away from us? Like I didn’t know what I was doing or couldn’t handle it as well as you obviously can?” He grabs something out of his back pocket and thrusts it at me. An envelope. “Let’s see how you handle this since you’ve got it all figured out.” When I don’t reach for it, he drops the envelope and steps back. I keep my eyes on him for a few more seconds, then bend, picking up the envelope. It’s addressed to me. The Clubhouse address. From Olivia Sultana, 3437 North Bayview Circle, Los Angeles, CA. Olivia. My mom.
My hands are sweaty, wrinkling the envelope clutched in them. I don’t wanna open this. She’s never talked to me.She’s never sent a birthday card or Christmas present or acknowledged my existence. Unless Dad’s kept it all from me. My breathing echoes in my ears, all my senses turning and running to hide from whatever’s inside the envelope. What if my mom wanted to meet me, but Dad wouldn’t let her? What if it’s a letter explaining why she left?
“She showed up at the apartment. Was planning on coming to your graduation. But then, you know…you weren’t there. So, she left that for you.”
My fists clench and my feet flex, my legs ready to hurl me at him, but his eyes glint like they always did when he was onto a lead in a case. “But you can’t run from this, Marcus. Mei Li will be deported, and you can’t stop that from happening. I’d love to protect you from all of this, but I warned you, you took off, and now I have to make a phone call to let immigration know where to find her. It’s my job.” He shakes his head at the ground. “Don’t want to do it, but here we are, so…I’ll give you until Monday to figure out what you’re going to do.”
The ground drops from under me, a jolt rocking me on my heels. His words fly past me, a few sticking in my brain like arrows. But no—he’s a liar. He wants me to give up my life…for what?
“Are you freaking kidding me?” I hurl at him. “You can’t stand that I’m happy, so you find a way to sabotage it? It wasn’t enough you ripped my mom from my life, you wanna rip Mei out of it too?”
“It’s not me who will take her from you, Marcus. It’s the law. There are things outside our control, and you chose one of them.”
“And what does the law say about us being married?”
He tenses. “What?”
“We got married. Couple weeks ago. So, no one’s taking her anywhere.”