Page 9 of Filthy and Dirty with the Bikers

“Okay, well… that’s good, right?”

“I mean, yeah, it’s good. I’m glad I’m gone. I’m glad it’s over, but I guess I thought there would be a more intense end to the whole thing.”

“You call Holden? He’s worried about you.”

“Yeah. He’s on the line right now.” I nod toward my phone and put it on speaker.

“I’m with Rhett, Holden. Thank you.”

Holden clears his throat. “Good girl. I’ll see you tomorrow in therapy. Text me if you need anything tonight.”

I glance up at Rhett, searching his face for an expression that lets me know he thinks it’s weird Holden is calling me a ‘good girl’too, but there’s nothing but concern and relief.

“Thank you… for everything. I’ll, ugh…”Why don’t I want to let him go? Why do I wish he were here with me, with us?I sigh and pinch my lips together before saying, “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“See you then. Sleep well.” Holden disconnects the line, and I sense a bit of disappointment in his tone, though I’m sureI’m imagining it. He fulfilled his professional purpose. His job is done for the night.

Rhett checks in every direction as though he’s looking for assholes, then wraps his big hands around my waist as he helps me up into his truck. I shouldn’t love the strong, gentle way he touches me, but I do. He’s careful the way he grips my hips, and gentle in the way he ushers me in.

There’s another big truck parked behind him with the engine running, but I don’t ask questions. I assume it’s the buddy he was talking about earlier. The one he was bringing in case things got bad.

Rhett rounds to the driver’s side of the truck, and though I’m ecstatic to be done with Tyler and safe with Rhett, I’m not as happy as I thought I would be. I, in fact, am a little sad. I shouldn’t be. I’m about to start something new, something better, something for me.

I can make new friends. I can stay out until all hours and blare my music, and no one can stop me. I can work all kinds of hours. I can make cereal for dinner, and no one will complain. I can have a feeling without fear of repercussions. My brain is free of his bullshit.I’mfree of his bullshit. It’s everything I need!

Yet, as I watch the little house up on the hill fade away, a crushing pain weighs my heart like a misplaced bag of sand. I know the feelings aren’t for Tyler. They’re for the dreams I had, the hope that I bought into, the years of my life I spent trying to fit a square peg into a circle, the time I’ll never get back.

Rhett’s rough hand lands on my bare thigh. I hadn’t gotten my escape clothes on yet. I’m only wearing the oversized t-shirt I usually wear to bed and a hoodie. Then again, I wasn’t expecting him to touch me or my thigh. “You okay?” His tone is as deep and comforting as his touch is.

I’ve never been so comfortable with Rhett that I’ve leaned on his shoulder or cozied up to him, but right now it’s where mybody has landed, against his solid shoulder with the heavy scent of pine and cedar surrounding me. “Yeah. Just tell me you have some vodka. I need like an entire night of bottles up, sad music, and snacks.”

He nods toward the back seat where a load of chips, cookies, and ice cream are layered. “I figured you’d want some snacks, and yes, I have vodka. You gonna be okay if Maverick joins us?”

“Who’s Maverick? That the guy behind us?”

Rhett moves his arm and snuggles me into the perfect nook of his frame. I have to say, it’s been a long while since I’ve been held like this, with intention and purpose. It’s almost like he really wants me here. It feels good. “Yeah. He’s part of the MC I’m with. Good guy. He just got back from a long stint in Wyoming.”

“What was he up there for?”

“Oh, he’s a lineman. They had a bad storm, and he was doing his thing. He rents a few acres on my back lot, but he’s barely there. Anyway, I think he should stay around tonight in case Tyler tries to pull some shit. It’ll be good to have backup.”

I wonder again what it is I don’t know about Tyler, but I don’t have the mental capacity right now to handle it yet. I mean, what if he was cheating on me this whole time, or robbing banks? Or maybe he’s a big-time drug dealer who makes people swallow bags of cocaine to get it across the border. I did see stacks of cash in his dresser one day when I was cleaning. I should have asked about it, but I figured he was on a bender about not trusting banks again and I didn’t have the capacity to manage the lecture. Sort of how I don’t have the capacity for anymore right now. It’s a defense mechanism of some sort, I’m sure. “Yeah, he can stay. If you like him, I’m sure I’ll like him.”

Rhett chuckles low, and the vibration rumbles through his chest and into my ear. “Who is this subdued girl I’m talking toright now? Where is that spark of energy and all that mouthy sass I love so much?”

I lift my head for a second and glare at him. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m not mouthy.”

“You most definitely are the mouthiest girl I know. That’s why your trouble.”

I roll my eyes and settle back onto his chest. “Oh, I’m gonna be trouble tonight. Trust me.”

“There ya go,” he groans playfully as he twists the dial up on the radio. He has it set to classic country.

“So, ugh, how well do you know Holden?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. He told me he rode with you, and I thought it was weird.”

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