Page 16 of Filthy and Dirty with the Bikers

God, have I mentioned that I need help… because I do. I need a lot of it.

I shouldn’t like the way he touched me. I shouldn’t have noticed. I should be clearly and unequivocally focused on no one but myself. I need to be right with me before I have anything to give. Holden hasn’t told me that, but I’m sure it’s coming.

Maverick starts the truck up and turns the heater on full blast. “So, you used to live on a farm?” His voice is low and gruff as he avoids the question I’ve asked him about dating.

“Yeah, my family is third generation farmers out in Tennessee. My brother and his family own it now.”

“You don’t like farmin’?”

“It’s not that I didn’t like it. It’s that I couldn’t see doing it alone. Are you avoiding the dating question for a reason?” I ask as cutely as possible to downplay the part where I’m being a nosey bitch again.

He laughs and twists the heat vents away from him. “You’re persistent. Usually when a person dodges a question, they’re dodging it for a reason.”

“Right, but what are reasons amongst friends? I mean, surely some lap humping makes us friends now, right?”

We pull out of the long stone driveway and out toward the main road. It snowed overnight and the pine trees are heavy with fresh powder. I never much liked the cold, but I stay for this. It’s beautiful the way the light hits the snow early in the morning before mud gets all mixed in with it. There’s something magical about that small window in time. It’s a different world. Peaceful. Untouched.

Maverick shakes his head. “Trust me, you’ll be lucky to end up with Rhett. Dating is a pain in the ass.”

I hadn’t put much thought into what dating would be like. Truth be told, I never really dated. Tyler and I met in high school, and the most elaborate date we went on was a trip tothe ice cream shop. I never looked back on it like I was missing out until he started to get violent. Then, I felt like I’d missed everything, though Maverick doesn’t make it sound like much fun. “How so?”

He sighs. “Well, there’s the answering questions portion that’s annoying as fuck.”

Was that a personal dig?Iampeppering him with questions.“How else do you get to know someone?”

He laughs. “Trust me. The questions people ask are only set up to trick you. It’s almost like women want you to fail. Then, there’s the part where I have to convince someone that the things I like and the way I choose to spend my downtime is approved. I don’t want to do that after working all day outside. When I’m home, I want to lean back in my recliner and scrape my knife against a piece of wood. That’s all.”

“Okay… that doesn’t sound so bad. Women like a hard-working man.”

“No, women like rich men. Hard-working men have no time, and they have no money. Those two things aren’t what women want. Besides, I’m not looking. I had my love. I did that. It’s over now.”

“Wait, what? Oh my God. So, you’re not… not dating. Your heart is a Morgan Wallen song. You’re trying to drink her away.”

He glances toward me and laughs. “Yeah, not quite, but… something like that.”

“What does that mean?”

“You really don’t quit, do you?” He brushes his hand down over his beard and shakes his head with a smile.

“Not really, but I’m probably distracting myself from my own trainwreck of a life. If you hadn’t noticed, I spent all of my twenties in a shit relationship.”

Maverick draws in a deep breath as though he’s about to tell me things he doesn’t want to just keep me from having tothink about my own problems, which is kind of sweet. “I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times from Rhett, but you should be thankful you realized it wasn’t going to work when you did. Some people waste decades, then wake up in their forties and realize they were probably never in love in the first place.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

“No, thankfully. I’ve never been married.” He drags in a deep breath. “The trouble with me is… I’m a sucker. I’ve been in love with this girl forever. Well, the past year anyway. Turns out, she’s, ugh, she’s not who I thought she was.”

“Oh. Like… how?”

Maverick glances toward me with eyes that turn green in the morning light. “Rhett’s a great guy. Holden is too. Don’t know him as well, but the dude helped me get my bike up off the road last year after an accident. Takes a pretty solid guy if you ask me.”

“What kind of accident?”

“Hit a stone out on Route 10. It was raining pretty bad. I flipped the bike and broke my collarbone. Holden called the ambulance and kept me talking ‘til they showed up.”

“Shit, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.” I want to lean in and hug him, but we’re not in that place. Plus, he’s driving.

“Yeah, just recently got back to work a few months ago. It fuckin’ sucked. I hated being laid up.”

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