Page 7 of Tormented Mountain Man

“I didn’t,” he said. “In fact, I was pacing the room, cursing myself for being so forward. Is that too honest?”

My eyes widened. “I like honesty.”

He’d been nervous about me showing up. Did that mean he was as attracted to me as I was to him? Maybe this wasn’t one-sided. Maybe it was mutual.

“But I’m going to be honest with you,” I said. “If you want a one-night stand, you’re definitely barking up the wrong tree.”

There. It was out. I held my breath, waiting for his response.

“What makes you think I’m looking for a one-night stand?” he asked.

I looked over at the table. “The way you fancied things up out here. And you’re a guy. Isn’t that what all guys want?”

He shook his head. “Not me. I’ve sworn off meaningless sex.”

“So you’re never going to have sex again?”

“Not unless it means something.”

I stared back at him, feeling a magnetic pull. If we were closer, we could easily find ourselves in a kiss, but the table separated us. The words were already on my lips.

“I want you to kiss me,” I said. “I want to see what we’ve both been missing.”

4

HUNTER

Iwant to see what we’ve both been missing.

Those words haunted me as I walked over to her, holding out my hand. There was no way to kiss her in our previous position. This was the only option.

She wanted to kiss me. Did that mean she was open to more?

Fuck. When had I turned into an insecure teenager? This was the very thing I’d been avoiding.

But what I’d realized in the past hour or so was that I’d been avoiding getting hurt. I’d been avoidingliving.

I’d done some things I wasn’t proud of. Things that were required in the line of duty. Lives had been snuffed out because of me.

I’d tried othering my victims, but that was exactly what they were. Victims. They were human beings. There was no such thing as a completely bad guy. Everyone had their own agenda, sure, but everyone deserved to live, even in combat. Especially since everyone was someone’s child, friend, sibling, or parent.

Falling in love, getting married, and having kids—those were all things that I’d taken from people in the course of military duty. I didn’t deserve those same privileges.

But would denying myself that bring any of those people back? No. And right now, lifting Joely to her feet and looking into her eyes, all of it seemed so far away. Unimportant.

This was what life was all about. This feeling that I was looking into the eyes of my future. This feeling that together, we could overcome anything—even my own guilt.

I put my arms around her and pulled her toward me, savoring the feel of the soft cotton of her T-shirt beneath my fingertips. I’d rather be touching bare skin, but knowing bare skin lay beneath the fabric was enough for me for now.

When she moaned against my lips, I wondered if I’d be able to hold back. It was supposed to be just a kiss, but the need to take this to the next level was almost overwhelming. I’d never experienced anything like it. It didn’t even compare to my raging testosterone during adolescence.

Her hands, which had been clasped behind my neck, unclasped and began moving. Her fingers skimmed the bare skin above my collar, and my erection notched up again. It was getting downright painful.

She was worth the pressure building behind my zipper. I’d take any amount of pain if it meant touching her. Being touched by her.

Her touch did things to me I hadn’t expected. Had it just been too long? I could chalk it up to that, but I knew, deep down, it was something much deeper. It was Joely. Substitute any other woman, and it would not be the same. In fact, I’d probably be looking for a way out of this. Meaningless sex just wasn’t worth the headache. Meaningful sex? That was a different matter.

Her hands moved over my shoulders, and that gave me the green light to let my own hands roam. I gently nudged up her T-shirt and flattened my palm against the small of her back.

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