Page 56 of Tempted to Rebel

It’s too dark for me to see his face, but it makes rejecting him easier. “You’re off the hook. I’m not—” my voice cracks—“I’m not pregnant, so you don’t have to pretend anymore, okay? You can leave. You can all go back to your lives, and I’ll go back to mine.”

Three long strides is all it takes for Rage to reach my bed. He kicks off his shoes, tears the tie off of his neck, and pops the buttons on his shirt as he strips down. “Youaremy life, Celia Monrovia. Stop pushing me away, because I’m not going anywhere.” Once he’s completely naked, he crawls on top of the bed and tears the comforter off my body.

I gasp and kick out at him, landing a hit square to his gut. The air punches from his lungs, but he grabs my foot and pushesit back down. “Celia,” he growls, “stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Agony rips through my chest and tears well in my eyes. “I’m already hurting!” A sob catches in my throat as my vision swims. “I thought this time—I thought for sure, I had to get pregnant. If anyone could knock me up, I thought it would be you! You said it would happen! You promised that you’d give me a baby!”

Rage crawls on top of me and smothers me with his body, trapping me against the mattress. His body heat seeps into my muscles and down to the marrow of my bones, making me tremble.

Fuck, he smells good, too. Like fire and smoke, cinnamon and clove, like warmth and comfort and everything I suddenly crave.

I gasp for air while he holds me tight. “Iwillgive you a baby. I swear on my life, I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy. Just breathe. Breathe with me.” He takes a deep breath, and I can feel his chest expand over mine.

“Maybe I don’t want to breathe! Maybe I want to drown!”

It’s not true—there’s so much I still want from this life. So much love that I have yet to give, but ithurts.The waiting hurts so much.

“Don’t you dare quit on me.” Rage’s voice shakes. He grabs my face in his hands and forces me to meet his eyes. “I need you. My brothers need you. And our baby needs you—yes, you—because you’re the only one who can put up with our bullshit and actually make things better—makeusbetter. I won’t accept anyone else, because there’s no one I’d rather do this with than you. This is our fucked up little family, but it’sours,and I promise you can handle it. So stay with me. I know it hurts, I know you’re tired, but I’m here now. I’mfinallyhere. So please, let me in, let me take your pain away, because it’s my turn to carry it. You are never alone anymore. I am here with you—andI willalwaysbe here with you. Breathe, baby,please.Please breathe. I’ve got you. We’ve got this. I promise.”

The tears won’t stop, and I sob into Rage’s chest as he holds me. In the before, back when I was trying to get pregnant with Ted, he’d disappear into his office with a bottle of brandy and let me cry on my own. That’s what I was expecting this time, too—to carry the pain alone, like I always have.

But Rage is here with me, begging me to let him in. Holding me while I smear saltwater and snot all over his chest, not caring in the slightest that it’s disgusting or that I sound like a banshee wailing in the night.

He’shere.

Not just for the good times, but the bad ones, too. And if he is a man of his word, he’ll be here for all the good, bad, and in-betweens from here on out.

A heavy feeling collapses inside my chest, and I can finally take a deep breath. The walls I’ve built to keep my heart safe crumble as Rage runs his hand through my hair and murmurs sweet encouragement, holding me tight and refusing to let go.

I’m not sure when Rebel and Ruin climb into bed with us, but when I’ve finally calmed down enough to breathe without feeling like I’m on the verge of collapse, I feel their presence. The weight on the pillow beside my head. The hand hooking around my calf. The gentle brush of fingertips down my spine. I can hear them all breathing in time with each other, deep and calm and strong.

Alone, I am fallible. I regress into painful patterns and responses that aren’t healthy for the life I want to build.

Together, however… Together we might be strong enough to overcome our weaknesses. Rage can hold me tight when my strength and confidence wavers. Rebel can keep me smiling and bright and carefree. Ruin can keep me true to myself and to others. And Thanatos… I’m not sure how he fits in yet, but I know he has a place.

Rage is right, this isourfamily now.

Even though the odds seem stacked against us, we’ll pull through stronger than ever, because we have each other.

That might be all it takes to keep pushing through another day of wanting to find the sunrise waiting just over the horizon.

Chapter 21

Rage

When I first met Celia atthe Baranova wedding, I knew she was the woman for me. Fierce in the face of adversity, loyal to those she cares about, and strong enough to hold the line against armed, dangerous men who were threatening the peace. She was willing to fight men like me to protect others.

And yet for years, no one has been willing to put up the same fight for her.

It’s why breaking through to her has been an uphill battle this entire time. She isn’t used to people fighting to keep her. Her twin brother Mikhail may be the exception—theonlyone—but he hasn’t been around as often since he rose the ranks of the bratva. Celia has been on her own for years now, and when she finally found a man she thought she could trust, he bailed on her. Got his secretary pregnant and left Celia to clean up the mess from their shattered marriage on her own.

She may have been expecting me to do the same, to cut and run the moment I realized that she couldn’t give me what I needed in our relationship.

It’s a bullshit expectation, but I can understand it.

I can even forgive her for running away when she realized how serious I was about us. I’m not the kind of man she everimagined marrying or raising a family with. I’m notanyone’sfirst pick. But the difference between me and other men is that I’m okay being her second love—as long as I’m her last love. It’s why I’m okay with her getting close to Rebel or learning all of Ruin’s shadowed secrets—I’m not going anywhere, no matter how hard or fast she falls for my brothers.

I’ll always be right here when she needs me.

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