Page 96 of Study Buddies

Taking turns at random, I drove through the unfamiliar town. Macon wasn’t huge, but it was big enough that I could keep going without hitting the same intersection twice. That was the point. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere yet. Just trying to get my head on straight.

The problem was, no matter how many streets I turned down, I couldn’t outrun Tori’s words last night. She hadn’t yelled, hadn’t even raised her voice. Therefore, it took me toolong to understand that she was as upset with me as I was with the entire situation.

That our views differed didn’t matter. I’d lost my cool. I called her disgusting.Tori. The sweetest woman I’d ever known. I hated how badly I’d handled it, and the shame bit deep. I was supposed to be the levelheaded one, the guy who never wavered or flipped out, and yet there I was, snapping at Tori like some insecure teenager.

It stung more than I cared to admit. Part of me knew I needed to back off, let her make her own decisions. But every instinct inside of me wanted to lock her away from all the things that might hurt her, especially Kyle.

Was she right? That I was letting her and Jayden off the hook and just blaming him? But there wasn’t even a hook to be let off of, because she hadn’t done anything wrong. It was her life. If she decided to sleep with the entire baseball team, that would be her decision. It just wasn’t the choice I wanted her to make.

At a red light, I wiped a hand over my face and breathed out a shaky sigh. Maybe Jayden had been right when he said I was putting her on a pedestal. But she was the most amazing woman I’d ever met, and I couldn’t understand why it was wrong to think that way. I liked her a lot more than any woman since Natalie, so wasn’t it natural for me to want her to like me back?

But maybe Jayden felt the same way. It was easier to think of him liking Tori than it was Kyle, so I’d use him in my thought experiment. If she liked both of us, what did we do then?

To me, that meant she needed to choose one of us, but of course I wanted her to choose me.

Shit. That was exactly what she meant last night when she said how I thought what I wanted was more important than what she wanted. And clearly, she didn’t want me. Or at least notonlyme.

With a sigh of resignation, I finally let the GPS have its way and followed its directions. The houses gave way to businesses, and I turned right near an old bookstore and passed a colorful mural of cherry blossoms.

It felt like Tori was slipping away from me, but I had no more claim over her than Jayden did. It was her life and her decision. Not mine.

Even though my mind was in turmoil about this issue, she had bigger things to worry about than her love life. We hadn’t talked a lot on the drive down because she was so upset, but it truly sounded like this Doug was at the very least emotionally abusive to her mother, along with majorly controlling and probably narcissistic. I couldn’t even imagine what it would do to Tori if her mom went through with it.

I pulled into the parking lot of the coffee house and shut off the engine. There was nothing to do but go in there and wait—my phone in my hand and ready the moment she needed me.

Please come get me.

That was all her text had said, and I had a sinking as I pulled up in front of her mother’s house and saw her sitting on the steps of the porch. She rose immediately, and as she neared, I saw her red, tear-streaked face. Those weren’t tears of joy.

She opened the passenger door, slid in, and gripped the seatbelt with trembling fingers. I didn’t say anything at first. I just reached over and took her free hand, threading my fingers through hers.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. Her eyes flicked to mine, and for a second, I thought she might break down into wild sobs, which I wouldn't know how to help her through. But she only nodded. I squeezed her hand gently, wishing I could pull her into a hug.

“She just—she wouldn’t listen.” Tori’s voice was so quiet I could barely hear, but the pain in it made my heart hurt. “She denied how it was before, even though that’s how it’s ended up every single time. I just… can you please take me home?” Her soft voice was tight with emotion.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “Of course.” I drove the streets in the reverse order of the route we’d taken to get here. The silence in the car felt almost tangible. Every so often, I glanced over, but she seemed lost in her thoughts.

So I drove and did what she’d asked me to. I took her home. Except, how bad must it feel to her that “home” was the house she’d lived in for less than a month instead of the childhood home she’d just left?

As we headed north toward Atlanta, I couldn’t get something out of my head. This was Tori’s mother—and we were driving away from her. I hadn’t wanted my mom to marry Kyle’s dad, but I’d been there for her.

A wedding, even an ill-advised one, was a big deal in a family. And Tori wouldn’t be there.

Shit. This wasn’t my business. Tori had made it quite clear that she was a grown woman who could make her own choices. And okay, maybe—somehow—I could stand to let her do that in regard to the men in her life. But this was hermother.

And even if I’d fucked up last night, I was still her friend. “Tori,” I began gently, keeping my eyes on the road, “Do you think that maybe you should go to the wedding tomorrow?” Her head snapped toward me, and I rushed to clarify. “I know you don’t approve, but this is your mom, and she might need your support. Even if she’s making the wrong decision.Especiallyif she’s making the wrong decision.”

I braced for anger, but her voice was so soft I could barely hear it over the car engine. “How can you say that?”

“I’m just worried that if you walk away, she’ll feel like she can’t reach out if things get really bad with Doug. I know it’s not what you want, but maybe if you’re there, then later when it gets bad again, she’ll remember you’re still on her side.” I forced myself to leave it at that, letting the quiet settle over us as we continued up the highway.

Tori was silent for at least a mile before she sighed. “I just can’t. It would be like standing by and watching while she walked into a burning building.”

I couldn’t say I blamed her for her decision, but I had one more idea. “Could you maybe make it through the ceremony with me by your side?”

“You’d be there, too?”

“If you want me to.”

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