Page 166 of Study Buddies

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Panic filled me. I hoped I was just misremembering. What we had—it was new, and maybe it was just about sex, really good sex, for them. And it should be for me, too. Women my age shouldn’t fall in love with multiple men. The words had just tumbled out of me somehow.

Had Jayden and Kyle even noticed what I said?

They were both climbing into the truck on either side of me, and I busied myself with fastening my seatbelt, making it take three times as long as necessary so I wouldn’t have to look at either of them.

As Kyle drove through the dark streets, Jayden made small talk about the party, which I couldn’t bring myself to participate in. Then Kyle brought up the exam coming up in Comp 102 and tried to get me to talk about upcoming tutoring sessions.

Just normal small talk, but nothing about it was normal because of what I’d said

Finally, on the rest of the drive, Kyle and Jayden talked about football. I guessed they’d given up on drawing me into the conversation.

As for me, I hung my head and wished I could turn back time. It felt like I’d ruined everything. I knew them well enough to know that they weren’t going to do anything to risk my heart getting broken. Had I just put an end to all the fun the four of us had been having—in the bedroom and out of it?

And ithadbeen so much fun tonight. Grinding against Jayden and Kyle when we danced. Sneaking off to the pantry with Kyle. After that, he’d said how much fun it was. That’s what he’d said after our date, too. It was supposed to be about enjoyment, and I was the stupid girl who’d used the L word.

I thought of Lucas. Of the three of them, he was the least likely to freak out by what I’d said, and he hadn’t even heard it. For a moment, I missed him so much it hurt. I was supposed to sleep in his bed tonight, but who knew what Jayden and Kyle might say to him once they dropped the pretense that everything was normal.

Kyle pulled up to the dark house and shut off the engine. I wanted to make a beeline for the door, but neither of them moved. Finally, Jayden began, “Tori?—”

“Thanks for driving!” I said to Kyle with a manic attempt to sound casual. “I should get inside. Gotta use the bathroom, too much beer!”

Jayden moved then, letting me slide out his side as I cursed myself once again.Thatwas how I’d chosen to try to save face? To announce I had to pee?

Where the hell was a lightning strike when you needed one?

Lucas opened the front door and turned on the porch light as I neared. He gave a low whistle as his gazed raked over my tiny costume. “I missed you.” He folded me into his arms and, fora moment, I let myself take comfort in his embrace. But then I wiggled free and hurried past him.

“Tori?”

The others came in and I heard Lucas speak again. “Why’s she upset? What the hell did you two do?”

Jayden responded. “We didn’t do anything. But hey, you didn’t automatically only blame Kyle, so that’s progress, right?”

Kyle snorted. “Yes, being jointly blamed is such wonderful progress.”

I didn’t hear anything else as I hurried into Lucas’s room and closed the door behind me.

Lucas had left out clothes for me on the bed—my favorite oversized sweatshirt and leggings. Seeing them almost made me cry. If he’d been there tonight, I would’ve told him I loved him, too. Because I did—even though I knew I shouldn’t.

That’s not what this was about—at least not for them. People experimented in college. They tried new things. They were horny and did sexy things because it felt good.

They didn’t fall in love their sophomore year. The guys understood that—it was just my heart that hadn’t gotten the message.

I changed and cleaned the makeup off my face and then climbed into bed. I hoped Lucas would join me soon, but they were probably out there right now, freaking out that I’d caught feelings or something like that.

Finally, a knock came at the door. “Yes?” My voice was almost too soft to be heard.

But then Lucas opened the door, the light from the hallway cutting through the dark room. “Can I come in?”

I nearly smiled at that. It was his room, his bed. Yet he’d knocked and asked permission.

“Please do.”

But after that, he knew what I needed without asking. He kicked off his shoes and carefully climbed across me, positioning himself between me and the wall. And once he was under the covers, he took me into his arms.

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