Page 23 of Maddox

My heart raced as I read the message. A Little get-together? At Salvation? The idea both thrilled and terrified me.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I typed back:

"Hi Abby, thanks for the invite. Can I think about it and let you know?"

Abby's response came quickly: "Of course! Take all the time you need. The offer stands no matter what. Starts at 6pm."

I set my phone down, my mind whirling. Part of me wanted to go—to be around other Littles, to explore that side of myself in a safe environment. But another part was terrified of being vulnerable again, of potentially seeing Maddox.

I picked up my phone again, this time scrolling to Anna's number. My therapist had been encouraging me to push my boundaries, to not let fear control my life. But this felt like a big step. Before I could talk myself out of it, I hit the call button. Anna answered on the second ring.

"Clare, it's good to hear from you," she said warmly. "How are you doing?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm...okay. I got an invitation to a Little get-together at Salvation on Friday. I'm not sure if I should go."

"Tell me more about your hesitation," Anna prompted gently.

"I'm scared," I admitted. "What if I panic again? What if I see Maddox there? I haven't talked to him since..."

"Since the session at his house," Anna finished. "Clare, it's understandable to be nervous. But remember what we've talked about—avoiding situations that make you anxious only reinforces that anxiety."

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "I know. It's just...hard."

"Of course it is," Anna said calmly. "But think about it this way—this could be a chance to explore your Little side in a safe, controlled environment. You'd be around others who understand, without the pressure of a one-on-one dynamic."

I considered her words. "That's true. And Abby said it would be very low-key." I took a deep breath, considering. "Part of me really wants to go," I admitted. "To see what it's like, to be around other Littles. But I'm scared too. What if I panic again? What if...what if Maddox is there?"

"Those are valid concerns," Anna said gently. "But remember, you've made so much progress already. You recognized your trigger at Maddox's house and removed yourself from the situation. That shows growth and self-awareness."

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "Maddox said that."

"And as for Maddox," Anna continued, because we’d already talked about that, "if he is there, you can always leave if you feel uncomfortable. But this could also be a chance to talk to him in a neutral environment, if you want to."

I considered her words carefully. "You really think I should go?"

"I think it could be a positive step," Anna replied. "But only if you feel ready. There's no shame in saying no if you're not there yet."

After talking with Anna for a few more minutes, I hung up feeling more resolved. Before I could second-guess myself, I texted Abby back:

"I'd like to come. Thank you for inviting me."

Abby's enthusiastic response came quickly, along with some details about the event. As I read through them, a mix of excitement and anxiety swirled in my stomach.

Friday evening arrived all too quickly. I stood in front of my closet, agonizing over what to wear. I didn't have any overtly "Little" clothes anymore, having gotten rid of them after escaping Jeremy. Finally, I settled on a soft sweater and leggings—comfortable but not too childish. I’d returned my popsie to the tin when I’d come back from Maddox’s and resolved for it to stay there.

As I drove to Salvation, my hands shook slightly on the steering wheel. I reminded myself that I could leave at any time if it became too much. When I arrived, I sat in my car for several minutes, trying to calm my racing heart.

"You can do this," I whispered to myself. "You're safe.”

I took a deep breath and stepped out of my car, my heart racing as I approached the entrance to Salvation. The club looked different in the early evening light—less intimidating somehow. A sign on the door read "Private Event" and I hesitated for a moment before knocking.

I tried not to quake at the scary man who opened the door and scanned my ID. He pressed a button and suddenly a woman was there in a red and white polka-dot dress with matching ribbons in her pigtails. "Clare! I'm so glad you made it. I’m Abby," she said warmly, pulling me into a gentle hug. I stiffened slightly at the unexpected contact but found myself relaxing into her embrace after a moment.

"Thank you for inviting me," I said softly as she led me inside.

She scooted me through the main area, and I just got a glimpse of the bar before she led me through another door. Inside, the space was filled with soft lighting, colorful beanbags, and low tables covered in art supplies and games. A small group of people—maybe six or seven—were scattered around, some coloring, others playing board games.

"We keep these gatherings small and low-key," Abby explained as we walked. "It's a safe space for Littles to explore and connect without any pressure."

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