Page 32 of Maddox

I tried to swallow my disappointment down. Not that I blamed Clare. It would take a lot of time for her to learn to trust me, so leaving her to get showered and dressed was a good…shit. I hadn’t gotten her any clothes out, and knowing Clare, she wouldn’t just help herself. I grabbed her clean underwear from the dryer, an outfit from the playroom, and took the stairs three at a time. The shower was still going, so she was in the bathroom, but I still knocked at the door. No answer so I opened it. The bathroom door was closed, and she might not hear me over the noise of the shower, but I needed to warn her I was in here.

“I’ve just brought up your bra and panties, Clare. I washed and dried them last night.” I went to the bedroom closet and smiled at my favorite outfit I’d brought upstairs. Simple black leggings I knew she favored, a yellow tee, and a cozy black sweater with bright yellow daisies all over it.

My arms full of daisies, I laid everything out for her, then went to the bathroom door. “Clare, I left you some clothes out,” I shouted. No response. I was glad she was comfortable enough to take a long shower, and I took a step away from the door.

Then I stopped.

And I registered the uncomfortable feeling in my gut. The one that had kept me alive so many times. I turned and strode to the door, opening it a fraction, ready for steam to billow out because I didn’t hear the fan, just the water. And no steam. “Clare? Are you okay?”

No answer.

“Clare?”

Fuck it. She could be sick, so I pushed the door open and was into the room, over to the shower, and turning off the water in an instant.The freezing cold water.

Clare was crouched in the corner, knees drawn up, head bowed. I could see her shivering and thanked everything holy to see that because when the shivering stopped you knew hypothermia had set in. I grabbed two huge towels and simply picked her up.

“Bad girl,” she whispered.

My blood ran colder than the shower at her words. "No, baby, no. You're not bad. You're my good girl," I said firmly, wrapping the towels around her shivering form. "My very good, brave girl."

Her skin was like ice, her lips tinged with blue. I carried her quickly to the bed, grabbing more blankets from the closet."Clare, princess," I urged, rubbing her arms through the towels, trying to generate warmth.

"Bad girls get cold showers," she whispered, her voice distant and hollow. "Daddy says."

"No, princess," I said firmly, continuing to dry her gently but thoroughly. "That man was not your Daddy. He was a monster who hurt you. Real Daddies keep their Little ones warm and safe."

I wrapped her in the comforter, then sat beside her on the bed, pulling her against my chest. Her shivering was violent now, which was actually a good sign—her body was fighting to warm itself. I pulled her in even closer, using my body to heat her as best I could.

“Bad girl,” she whispered again.

“Clare, I need you to look at me," I said, gently tilting her face up. Her eyes were unfocused, lost somewhere in the past. "You're safe now. You're at my house, with me. No one is going to hurt you here."

Slowly, awareness seemed to return to her eyes. "Maddox?" she whispered uncertainly.

"That's right, princess. I'm here."

Tears filled her eyes.

"Oh God," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. One minute I was showering and the next..."

"Shh," I soothed, pulling her closer as her tears fell. "You don't need to apologize. You had a flashback. It happens, and it's not your fault."

Her whole body trembled against mine, and I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or the emotional aftermath. Probably both. I continued to rub her back and arms through the blanket, trying to warm her.

"I could hear him in my head, telling me bad girls get cold showers. And I felt...I felt like I deserved it."

My heart broke at her words, but I kept my voice steady. "Clare, listen to me. You didn't deserve that. Not then, not now, not ever. What he did to you was abuse, pure and simple."

She nodded against my chest, but I could tell she didn't fully believe me.

"How about we get you dressed in some warm clothes?" I suggested gently. "I've laid some out for you."

Clare nodded again, and I helped her to sit up, keeping the blanket wrapped around her. "Can you manage, or would you like some help?" I asked, careful to give her the choice.

She raised her big, tear-laden eyes to me. “I need help.”

I wasn’t sure if that was a simple answer or a plea for much more. I knew Anna wouldn’t break Clare’s confidence, but she needed to know what had happened. Slowly and carefully, I dried every part of Clare. Every finger, every toe. I was well aware of how much trust this took and shut my own feelings about touching her beautiful body right down.

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