Page 18 of Maddox

The drive to Maddox's house felt both too long and too short. If I was honest, I hated driving myself because I panicked a little when large semis loomed alongside me. Maddox had offered to come get me, and I could tell he wasn’t happy when I said I was driving, but I needed to know I could leave when I wanted. When I pulled up outside, I sat in my car for several minutes, trying to calm my racing heart. "You can do this," I whispered to myself. "You're safe. Maddox isn't Jeremy."

The house was gorgeous. There were four surrounding a lake I’d had a security guard allow me entrance to, but there was a lotof space for extra homes, paved walkways weaving in and out of the trees, and a barbecue area next to the lake with fire pits.

Each home seemed huge, and I was used to that, just not the proximity of the homes to each other. It was almost deliberate. Not that each house could be accessed by car from the lake. If you were in a hurry you needed to go back to the road, but I loved that. It was an oasis without engine noise.

Finally, I gathered my courage and walked to the front door. My hand shook slightly as I rang the doorbell.

Maddox opened the door with a warm smile. "Clare, hi. Come on in."

I stepped inside, immediately struck by how different the house looked from my last visit. There were colorful throw pillows on the couch, cheerful artwork on the walls, and even a soft-looking blanket draped over an armchair. It looked...cozy.

"I made some changes," Maddox said, noticing my surprise.

I nodded, taking in the warm, inviting atmosphere. "It looks nice," I said softly.

Maddox smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I wanted to make sure it felt comfortable for you." He gestured toward the living room. "Would you like to sit down? I've got some snacks and drinks prepared if you're peckish."

I glanced down at my shoes, but before I even got a chance to toe them off, Maddox bent and gently removed them, making sure my socks were still pulled up. I wanted to say something but his fingers brushing my ankle seemed to have robbed me of words.

I followed him into the living room, my eyes widening as I took in the array of coloring books, crayons, and puzzles arranged neatly on the coffee table. A large TV was mounted on the wall, with what looked like children's movies queued up on the screen.

"You really thought of everything," I murmured, a mix of emotions swirling inside me.

Maddox nodded. "I wanted to make sure we had plenty of options. But remember, we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. This is all about what feels right for you."

I sat down on the edge of the couch, my hands clasped tightly in my lap. Now that I was here, I felt frozen, unsure how to proceed.

Maddox seemed to sense my uncertainty. He sat down in the armchair across from me, giving me space. "Why don't we start by just talking?" he suggested gently. "How are you feeling right now?"

I took a deep breath. "Nervous," I admitted. "But also...excited? I think? It's all a bit overwhelming.”

Maddox nodded understandingly. "That's completely normal. We can take this as slow as you need. There's no pressure to do anything you're not ready for."

I nodded gratefully, some of the tension easing from my shoulders. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Would you like something to drink?" Maddox asked. "I have water, juice, or I could make some hot chocolate if you'd prefer."

The mention of hot chocolate sent a wave of nostalgia through me. It had been one of my favorite treats as a child. "Hot chocolate sounds nice," I admitted shyly.

Maddox smiled warmly. "Coming right up. Would you like to pick out something to do while I make it? We could color, or start a puzzle, or just watch a movie if you'd rather."

I glanced at the coffee table, my eyes drawn to a familiar coloring book. It was filled with intricate mandalas—something that had always helped calm my anxiety. "Maybe...maybe we could color?" I suggested hesitantly. I hadn’t been able to look at my paints once since I got back. Another thing Jeremy Blakeny had stolen from me.

"That's a great idea," Maddox said encouragingly. "Why don't you pick out a page you like, and I'll be right back with our drinks."

As Maddox headed to the kitchen, I carefully opened the coloring book, flipping through the pages until I found a design that appealed to me. I selected a few colored pencils, then paused, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I could feel my lip wobble a little. I absolutely knew if I picked up the pencil I would be letting my Little come out. Was I ready for that?

I sat there frozen, staring at the coloring book and pencils. Part of me longed to just dive in, to lose myself in the soothing act of coloring like I used to. But another part was terrified of letting my guard down, of being vulnerable.

Maddox returned with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, setting them carefully on the coffee table. He must have noticed my hesitation because he sat down next to me, not too close, and spoke gently.

"Clare, remember what I said—there's no pressure here. If coloring doesn't feel right, we can do something else. Or we can just talk. Whatever you're comfortable with."

I took a shaky breath, fighting back tears. "I want to," I whispered. "I just... I'm scared."

Maddox nodded understandingly. "That's okay. Being scared doesn't mean you're not brave. In fact, facing your fears is one of the bravest things you can do."

His words hit me hard, and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Without thinking, I reached into my bag and pulled out Mr. Snuggles, clutching him to my chest.

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