Page 65 of Rebellion

“Of course I am. I’ve always wanted that.” What did he think we’d been doing for the last month?

He turned his back to me. “Even after all the shit we’ve been through, that I put you through? I’ve... destroyed you. More than once.”

Hay, Dios Mio. We were finally going there. I’d given him the time and space I knew he needed, my body and my trust. It had all led to this moment.

Gray’s shoulders bunched and he dropped his head. This beautiful confident man who’d only ever been the powerful dominant man in my life was crumbling in front of my eyes.

Not on my watch.

I climbed out of bed and crossed the room. A hug might not do much for a man like this, but I needed to imbue him with my touch, let him know I was there and all in. I wrapped my arms around him and set my face against his back.

“Gray. You have been, are, and will be the only man I’ve ever felt anything real for. We’re connected, you and me. I’m not whole, not authentic, not me, without you.”

He placed his hands over my arms. “I’m not worthy of you or your love, Angel. I never have been, and it hurts so much to know I’m bringing you down to my level.”

My heart shattered. “Oh, querida. No. Why would you not be worthy of me?”

It gutted me to even think those words, but I managed to choke them out, on the verge of tears.

“You’ve only ever seen the part of me that wanted to save and protect you from the world. If I ever let you see the rest of me you wouldn’t be here.”

I remembered a conversation we’d had what felt like a century ago. “The way I want to take you, neither of us are ready for.”

If I wanted him to be vulnerable enough to show his essence, his authentic self he had to trust me, like I did him.

I squashed the teeny tiny voice I’d shoved into a locked box inside a titanium chest, inside a shipping pallet, inside a closet in the far away back of my mind that said “If you want him to be real with you, show you every aspect of himself, warts and all, you’ll have to do the same. Can you do that? What if he can’t handle rest of you, the parts you’ve never let anyone see?”

Gray had the exact same thought. He’d said it out loud. I kept mine hidden away.

“Gray, I have that same fear. Isn’t this part of being in love with someone? Letting them see and know even the parts you’re afraid to show the rest of the world. There is nothing you can say to make me think less of you.”

He swallowed. “I think there is.”

This tender, scared Gray was new to me. I was fully prepared to take and love all of him. He’d done and do the same for me, and he’d certainly seen my good, bad, ugly, and worse.

I moved to stand in front of him and took his face in my hands, so he had to look at me. “You see me. I was scared and weak when we met, letting the world walk all over me and my horrible self-worth. I hated who I was and how I looked. Did you think then that I wasn’t worthy of love?”

“I loved you from the first moment we met. You’re beautiful, Angelina.”

He was the first person in my life who genuinely thought that and let me see it. I had to get through to him that he was the same in my eyes. “You saw me throw myself into this dark and kinky world with all I had. Did that make you think less of me?”

He looked surprised. “No. It made you even more sexy, made me want you even more.”

I nodded and continued baring my dirty laundry, panties and all. “You saw me act pig-headed, stubborn, and disrespectful both to you and the people around me.”

He frowned, disbelief written all over his face. “When?”

“When I decided to ignore the training you’d laid out for me, get involved with Foster Bennett, and betray you, forcing Cade, Ilario, and Dominic to come along for my wild ride whether they wanted to or not.”

Ooph. That hurt coming out, like shards of steel spinning off a saw blade.

Gray grabbed me and we sank together to the floor. “You didn’t betray me. You were simply spreading your wings. I was trying to hold you down, hold you back.”

Tears bubbled behind my lashes. I blinked, trying my best to hold them back. “And did you think less of me or unworthy of love?”

Gray had to clear his throat. “No, never.”

My next question might burn us both. “Not even when you left me?”

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