I hear that sistah.
She walked to Hawk and dropped to a submissive position on her knees in front of him. I watched only long enough to see him haul her back up, crush his mouth to hers and stick his hand between her legs.
A hollow formed behind my throat and dropped to my stomach. Hawk took Lilly with his entire being and she was wholly possessed by him. They were awkward, dysfunctional, doomed to fail, and had a relationship exactly like what I’d had with Gray.
Sir touched my chin and brought my focus back to him. “Get up, Angelina.”
A beautiful mess.
But who wanted easy and organized. That was no fun at all.
I looked at Sir dead on. “I need to finish my training.”
He waved a hand dismissing my point. “You’ve graduated. I have nothing more to teach you. This phase of your training is over.”
I shook my head and kept my mouth shut, willing him with my eyes to accept what we had.
“You were never my student. You didn’t need my training in the first place.”
I had learned a lot about control, power exchange, and most importantly about myself. Most were lessons Gray had attempted to teach me, but I either wasn’t ready or didn’t want to learn.
I loved Sir a little for that. Not like I’d loved Gray. Still loved him.
Shut up. I was allowed to still be in love with him. It was a shattered, fragile thing I held in my heart and always would.
I got off my knees and sat on the couch next to him, placing my hand on his leg. His muscles bunched, but other than that, his mask and a new set of walls that had come up between us hid any other reaction he had.
“Sir, I don’t want to fight with you. I did need you and your lessons. I don’t think we’re finished, and you can’t push me away because you got scared.”
“You’re afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Of us. Of taking me, of being together. You’re doing everything you can to control me from afar, but—”
I was done hiding behind words that were designed to placate. Look where it had gotten me? Alone.
“Scared? Of what?”
Gray had been afraid of us. Sir’s fear was something different. “Losing control.”
He scoffed. “I don’t lose control.”
I begged to differ. I’d had tasted the loss of his control and had reveled in his reaction, but that wasn’t the right button to push now. “Fine, then you’re afraid to let anyone see you.”
I saw the eyebrow raise even through his mask and the way his posture straightened. I’d learned to read him. “I don’t mean your face. But that mask is more than simply literal. You don’t want me or anyone to see your vulnerabilities.”
“Angel.” He sighed.
I thought for one whole entire minute that he was going to open up, give a little of himself to me. I would have given a lot in return.
“I meant what I said. You’ve graduated. I may have refined what you had, but this Dominatrix in you has only been waiting in the wings for you to let her out.”
If I wanted vulnerability, I had to show some myself. “I know you’ve gotten to see a whole side of me, and I’m not talking about my backside, that most people don’t, but you don’t really know me, my past or what makes me, me.” I bit my lip fighting the need to close myself off. “I, I’d like you to.”
He shook his head. “I know you better than you could ever know, and I’ve taken advantage of that, of you. I took so much more from you than I ever should have.”
“You didn’t take anything I didn’t want to give.” I touched his hand and squeezed it.