Page 3 of Surprise Me

Jett left for the upper middle Rhine Valley using the shadow to get there in only moments. He took his time scouting around the forested area around the castle he planned to buy. Out of all the castles and manor houses he'd looked at, this was his first choice. The Sauerburg was smack dab in the middle of a UNESCO World Heritage site and that would keep other builders or developers at bay. Plus, there was a cool-ass tower he and his brethren could take flight from and land on in the dark of night.

It wasn't like he hadn't offered the government here enough money. Three million Euro would make a dent in his treasure hoard. Fine. He would replenish it with the veins of gold running deep underground all throughout the area. Living underground in the depths of hell most of his life had to have some advantages. Being able to sniff out gold deep below the Earth's crust was one of them.

The bureaucrats kept Jett busy for far longer than he hoped and the only thing that kept him from lighting each and every one of them on fire were the selfies Yvaine sent him throughout the day at the birthday party. She had very creative uses for her tongue in those pictures. Plus, he got a teensy glimpse of some of the activities at this kind of party. He filed face-painting and balloons away in his mental files for what to do at her birthday celebration.

He was especially interested in the part where people were blindfolded and beating some paper beast with a stick. Yvaine looked especially delicious blindfolded. With that thought, he ended the meeting so he could get back to her. "Gentlemen. Final offer. Three million Euro, with an investment of another five million over the next five years into renovations, restoration, and upkeep. That should invigorate your local economy and line your pockets. Take it or leave it. I'll give you until next week to make your decision as I will be busy celebrating my wife's birthday until then. You can contact my office with the paperwork."

He left the greedy slimeballs with their jaws hanging open and headed back into the forest to find a bit of shadow to ride home. He popped back up in the common room in the gasthaus he'd rented out for the Demon Dragon Warriors to live hoping to find birthday plans well underway.

What he found were six dragons sitting around a television with a stack of beer bottles a meter high. Jett had to work really hard to keep the fire from pouring out of his mouth instead of his question. "What in the hell are you doing?"

"Like, Oh my god. You scared the crappola out of us, boss." The nearest Warrior jumped up from the couch.

"Why do you speak like that, Warrior?" Jett growled. He didn't like the tone or the way the warrior said any of the words. This was not how a Demon Dragon spoke. If Ereshkigal had found a way to cast a new spell on his Wyr, Jett was skipping all future celebrations and going straight back down to hell to murder her in the face.

The man swallowed hard and pointed to the TV. On it was a girl in a giant poofy pink dress, wearing a tiara, and riding in a carriage shaped like a swan. She was crying and waving to a crowd of similarly dressed girls. Pink was not in the Black Witch's wardrobe much less her spellwork. The catastrophe on the television reminded him more of a white witch's magic. "What is this? You're supposed to be researching Yvaine's birthday party."

"We so are." The Warrior Jett had left in charge stood up. "This is a very useful American documentary about women's birthday parties. We like literally know exactly what to do to have the most ah-mazing super sweet sixteenth birthday party now."

Another warrior tossed an empty beer bottle at this Warrior's head. "No way. I thought we decided to throw a quinceanerainstead. Their dresses are so much more fabulous."

Jett glared at the show the men were watching. He wanted to trust that his warriors weren't bespelled. He took in a full three minutes before he knew he was in real trouble. As Yvaine would say, holy forking shirt. This wasn't any magic he could defend against. It was American television.

He'd created monsters. Demon Dragons who'd learned to be human from a television show filled with entitled American teenaged girls were going to be hard to live with. Add a reform program to his list of to-dos. Shit.

"How long have you all been studying this show?" Jett stared each of the Warriors down and they erupted into chatter.

"Pretty much since you left. It was one of the first things we found on the internet when we searched for unicorn birthday parties." The first warrior showed Jett a tablet filled with screenshots of poofy pink dresses.

"No. You forgot about Esty. We can get so many decorations and party favors there. We just need your credit card, boss." The second warrior held out his hand.

Yeah. No.

"We cannot get the volcano like Alyson had at her party on Etsy. That is going to have to be special ordered and you know we need the volcano." The third warrior banged a fist against his hand pretty damn animate about that.

"Dude, we have to support small local businesses." One of the other warriors waved his hand at the tablet again. "Do you know what a fifteen-hundred-dollar cake order would mean to a local bakery?"

Jett blinked a few times and then slowly backed out of the room. This was way worse than he even imagined. He found a corner of shadow and escaped the birthday dragon mayhem. Okay. So that was a mistake. He would have to be much more careful about what kind of television his newer warriors were allowed to watch.

He made his way back to his office and sat down shaking his head. He got a text from Yvaine saying the party was ending and she would be back in an hours. Just enough time for him to do his own research on birthday parties. The internet was indeed full of useful information and if he couldn't find something there, he would call in reinforcements. He had someone in mind that might actually be able to help, but that would be a last resort.

He searched for sexy woman birthday and the first link he clicked on had more moaning and groaning than anything else. No one else would be allowed to see Yvaine's exposed body this way. No way was he throwing this kind of party. Well, maybe a very private party where he and Yvaine were the only ones invited to come.

Jett tipped his head to the side and stared at the video on this strange site called PornParty. How did that woman do that with her mouth?

One of the three warriors who Jett had sent with Yvaine appeared out of the shadows in Jett's office. He arrived in a warrior's stance and scanned the room. Jett shut the laptop and cut off the end of the sexy woman birthday. The Warrior saluted Jett and then disappeared back into the shadow. Good. They were scouting ahead to make sure her landing point was secure. He knew he'd chosen the right Warriors to guard her.

He felt the tiny vibrations in the air around him that indicated Yvaine was close. In another second the same Warrior popped out of the shadow again followed by Yvaine, flanked by the other two men. She put her hand on her stomach for a second and held up a finger.

"Yvaine, are you okay? Have my warriors failed in their mission? Are you injured?" Jett's dragon shimmered near the surface ready to burst forth and protect his mate. "I'll kill whoever did this to you."

Yvaine looked at him, her eyes wide and then belched, loudly. Pink vapor puffed out of her mouth and she made a face. "Shadow and birthday cake do not mix."

"No incidents to report, sir. The trip was successful." The largest of the three Warriors, who was covered in some kind of yellow sparkling sugar dust stepped up to report.

Jett gave them each a once over and narrowed his eyes. "No incidents? Well done. Thank you for protecting my mate today. You may return to your regular duties."

The Warriors looked pleased at his praise, each of them straightening up and squaring their shoulder after what had to be a trying day if the state of their clothes was any indication. Besides the yellow glitter that seemed to be everywhere, one had a smear from chest to knee of something flakey that smelled of burnt sugar, and the other was missing one sleeve of his shirt and he had a smeared, colorful, childlike drawing of a dragon on his exposed arm.

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