Page 79 of The Castle in the Bay

‘Yes.’ And even admitting it made her feel stupid. Why was she letting a man affect her so badly?

‘You fell hard, didn’t you?’

‘It sounds idiotic when you put it like that.’

‘Why? You’re allowed to have feelings.’

‘Why him? Why did it have to be him? Someone I can’t have?’ She let out an angry huff. ‘I’ve never felt like this about anyone.’

‘I don’t think it ever makes sense, like why we fall for some people and not others.’

‘The thing is, even if he’d stuck around, how would I know that’s what I wanted?’

‘I guess it’s about commitment and whether or not you’re willing to try. It’s also about how he feels about you. Does he like you too? I thought he did, but when you told me about his ex… Well, is he going to try and get back together with her?’

Iona shook her head. ‘He said he wasn’t. He told me…’ The words stuck in her throat, and she tried to flap away the tears. ‘Told me… He didn’t love her.’

‘Oh…’ Catriona rubbed Iona’s back, watching her with a frown. ‘I guess that something.’

‘He also said he loved me.’

‘Did he?’ Catriona’s eyes widened. ‘Wow. And what did you say?’

‘Nothing. I was too shocked, I suppose. And it wouldn’t have made any difference. He can’t stay here, and I can’t go back to city life. Nothing can change. I just have to live with it.’

‘Maybe. But you could at least message him and tell him the truth.’

‘Hello…’ The door opened a crack and little Eilidh peered around. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked Iona.

‘Eilidh, sweetheart, why don’t you go and fetch Iona a drink of water? Give us a moment.’

Eilidh hesitated, her gaze shifting between Iona and her mum. ‘But I want to know why she’s crying.’

‘It’s ok, Eilidh.’ Iona forced a smile and opened her arms. Eilidh rushed forward, wrapping her arms around Iona’s waist. ‘I’m just sad that Monty had to leave.’

‘Why?’ Eilidh stared up at Iona with wide eyes.

Iona’s heart twisted. She stroked Eilidh’s hair gently. ‘It’s complicated. Sometimes things happen that we don’t like and have no control over.’

Catriona patted Eilidh’s shoulder. ‘Go on, Eilidh. Get the water like I asked, please.’

‘Ok, Mummy.’ She darted out of the room, leaving Iona and Catriona in silence.

Iona took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. ‘I need to pull myself together.’

‘Be kind to yourself.’

Iona nodded. She glanced towards the window, the bright afternoon sunlight shining through. ‘I just wish…’

‘Things were different?’

‘Yeah,’ Iona whispered, her eyes drifting shut momentarily. ‘But they’re not.’

‘It’ll be worse now, but it’ll get better. You’re strong.’

‘I hope so,’ Iona sighed.

Catriona patted her knee. ‘I understand it’s hard, but you need to be honest with him, even if it’s painful. Don’t hide away and pretend none of this ever happened. Face it.’

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