Page 75 of The Castle in the Bay

Iona

Iona pulled up the zip on her wetsuit, staring out at the waves. She could so do without having a paddle-boarding class today. Not that it would make any difference whether she was here or anywhere else. Monty was leaving later, and her brain didn’t have room for thoughts about anything else. If only things were different. But they weren’t. Even if she admitted how she reallyfelt, it didn’t change the reality. He had a job to go back to. Possibly a girlfriend.

With an enormous effort, she forced her mind back to the paddle-boarding class. She had to do this. If she was lax, people would leave bad reviews – or worse, they could get hurt – and she didn’t want that.

‘Ok, let’s go over the basics again before we hit the water. Everyone remembering the key steps?’

Some general murmurings, nods and thumbs up followed.

‘Ok, great.’ She placed her board on the sand. ‘Let’s just do a few more practises of standing on the board before we get in the water. Remember, once you get in the water, if you prefer to kneel or sit, that’s absolutely fine.’

As she walked among today’s students – a group of ten, mostly in their twenties – she commented and checked their posture, but still her thoughts drifted to Monty. A smile warmed her a little when she recalled his effort at the water sports festival and his attempts to catch waves on the bodyboard. How he’d grown in confidence. The idea of him leaving was like a sharp stab to the chest. How could she bear it? Tomorrow she’d wake up and be back to the way she was before he’d come on the scene. That was only two weeks ago, and she’d been happy and content enough; there had been no question of her needing anything else in her life.

But now she’d found something else, she liked it, craved it. Losing him would throw her into grief. Maybe in time she’d learn to live with it, but for now it was agonising.

‘Ok, let’s hit the water!’ She picked up her board and led the group into the sea. She watched them paddle out, her mind still elsewhere. The students were getting the hang of it, and she tried to stay present, forcing her eyes onto them. If she watched them closely, she’d have to think about them.

‘Great job!’ she called out as one girl paddled around very confidently, keeping her balance. But time was crawling. Iona kept glancing at her watch, willing the minutes to pass faster. She couldn’t stop Monty going, but she could at least see him before he went. A weird idea was forming in her head, words she wanted to say to him, but she wouldn’t. Not unless she could be sure of his reaction. She’d never told anyone she loved them before, and saying it now, when he was about to leave, was probably a stupid idea. When they’d been together last night, she’d wanted to tell him so badly, but she’d reined it in. How could she let him know? Unless she could find a way to say it that wouldn’t be committal or final… A plan started to take shape in her mind. Maybe it was crazy, but now it was there she couldn’t let it go.

When the session finally ended, she gathered the group on the beach.

‘Well done, everyone. You all did so well. I hope you enjoyed it.’

A lot of nods of agreement followed.

‘And I see you’re booked in again tomorrow… which is great.’

The word “tomorrow” almost jammed in her throat. What would her life look like tomorrow?

The students thanked her and started to head off, chatting as they made their way to the container. Iona quickly packed up her gear, waiting to hang up the wetsuits. She paced and focused on her breathing. Why were they taking so bloody long to change today?

‘Thanks, Iona,’ a person called out as she left with her friends.

‘No worries. See you tomorrow.’ Iona waved. The rest of them started filing away, and Iona took the wetsuits and hung them on a rack outside the container. It was probably more haphazard than usual, but all she wanted was to get back to the farmhouse and see if Monty was still there.

Once everything was tidied up, she rushed back to An Grianan, her heart pounding like she’d run a marathon, not walked half a mile along the track. As she approached the farmhouse, she saw Ruaridh and Catriona talking outside. She hurried up to them, barely able to catch her breath.

‘Has Monty gone already?’ Why did she sound so desperate? But the time for beating around the bush was gone.

Catriona shook her head. ‘Not yet.’

‘Good. I need to talk to him.’

‘Please don’t do anything rash.’ Catriona gave her a pleading look. ‘This will be just as difficult for him.’

‘I won’t, I just… I need to see him.’

Ruaridh tilted his head and gave her a tight-lipped smile, perhaps aiming for sympathy. ‘I’m giving my new cousin a lift to the airport in just a few minutes.’

‘You?’

‘Yeah. I’m heading up that way anyway.’

‘Right.’ Iona frowned.

‘It’s ok.’ Ruaridh patted her upper arm. ‘I’ll take good care of him. He’s part of my family now.’

‘And you’re not upset that he and I…’

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