Page 67 of Fallen Angels

He takes another step closer to me and reaches out, taking my hand and then pushes my arm down. He doesn’t drop my hand. “You and Cambion were involved in a long conversation. In it, you admitted something to him.”

“Whatever it was, it was between Cambion and me and you need to respect that.”

He nods but then takes a deep breath and holds it inside for a few seconds before releasing it again. He looks down at my hand which he still holds in his own. His skin is warm and I love the feel of him. “Look, I know I haven’t been fair to you. I know I’ve been hot and cold and I know I haven’t explained myself. I’m… I don’t… I know…”

“You don’t owe me an explanation,” I start.

“Just listen, will you?” he barks and then shakes his head as he glances down at the ground. “I don’t know what’s about to happen. When we get into that castle, who knows if we’ll be successful in finding Morrigan and freeing her. Who knows if we’ll get killed…”

“Weren’t you trying to make me focus on the positive a few days ago?” I ask with a small smile that’s meant to be encouraging.

“The point is,” he starts as he lifts his gaze and spears me with it. “Eilish, I’m sorry.”

I can’t help my surprise. “You’re sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry for everything,” he answers quickly and then grows quiet as he apparently searches for something more to say. He drops his eyes to the ground before facing me again. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you, I’m sorry for pushing you to Revenant, I’m sorry for failing to protect you and I’m sorry for whatever the fuck happened when you were with Variant.”

I breathe in deeply as I listen to him and then I nod. “I accept your apology.” Then I clear my throat. “But, I’m not sure where it leaves us.”

“Where it leaves us?”

I shrug as I look at our entwined hands. “It’s not like you magically trust me now, is it? And it’s not like you can ignore the Succubus side of me and it’s not like you believe I’mnotgoing to drain you of your life force every time you get near me, right?”

“I… I don’t know,” he answers.

I exhale very slowly to ease the tension building in my body. “Variant used a compulsion spell on me when I went to his chamber. He forced me to touch myself while he… while he… fucked Anona,” I admit and watch as Dragan’s eyes go wide. “It was disgusting and repulsive,” I continue.

“I’m sorry,” he begins but I shake my head to silence him.

“There’s more.”

“Go on.”

“While Variant was fucking Anona, he reached underneath a pillow and pulled out a knife which he used to slit her throat.”

Dragan’s eyes go wide and he reaches out with his other hand, wrapping it around my upper arm. “And you watched the whole thing?”

“Yes,” I answer with a brief nod. “I was forced to watch the whole thing.” I take a deep breath and look at him again. “There’s more.”

“Okay,” he starts and begins rubbing my arm up and down. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

“I was forced to watch him kill her and I was helpless to do anything about it,” I start as my courage falters and I wonder if I can tell him the rest of what happened. “And, all the while, I was forced to… pleasure myself.”

“Pleasure yourself?” he repeats, shaking his head to show me he isn’t following.

“I had to sit there and watch him fuck her and kill her and he forced me to finger… myself.”

He nods as understanding dawns on him and I can see the anger in his eyes. He drops his hands and as I glance down at them, they turn into fists. “I’m sorry, Eilish. I’m sorry Variant subjected you to… that.”

“I am too,” I answer and then breathe out my discomfort. “Anyway, that’s what I told Cambion during the conversation we both shared.” I clear my throat. “It’s how he knew Anona was dead.”

“I’m surprised you told him,” he responds and appears confused by the fact.

“It wasn’t as though I just volunteered it,” I explain. “Cambion witnessed a vision of what happened and he demanded to know the truth, and you know how insistent Cambion can be.”

“Yes.”

I nod. “Evenutally, I told him.”

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