Page 15 of Even After Sunset

And yeah: it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that they’ve got me over a barrel, here. Of course I’m going to take whatever option I’m given over Trenton. But it doesn’t make it suck any less.

And if I’m being honest, it’s possible this idea wasn’tallJackie’s, because Richard did try to reach out to me several times over the years. Well, reach out to my aunt: offering counseling for me—at least three times over the first year after my parents’ death, and then any time he’d heard through his friends in the system or whatever, that I’d been hauled in or got in trouble. I wasn’t supposed to know, but my aunt sucks at discretion. And by that, I mean she sucks at keeping her voice down to anything below a low screech.

I overheard a bunch of the conversations she was ironically so insistent be kept from me. I heard her berate poor ol’ Dr. Richard for butting his head in where it didn’t belong, and “he has some nerve” and “just because he has a wall full of fancy diplomas doesn’t make him better than her” and “what Silas needs is a good kick in the rear, and to learn to deal with the consequences of his delinquent behavior - not some love-in with a therapist who will try to justify the fact thathe’s just a bad kid.”

Of course, I’m paraphrasing here. But you get the idea. It seems Richard’s savior complex as it relates to Jackie, for whatever crazy reason, also extends to me. So it isn’t a long-shot to assume he’s still all hot-and-bothered over the idea of troubleshooting and fixing me somehow, just as much as his adoptive daughter is.

In other words, I’m being tag-teamed here.

But of course, I take the deal. And of course, I promise to obey his rules. And of course, I’m just as full of shit now as I’ve always been, because there’s no way I’ll abide by even half of his carefully outlined rules. And I don’t feel one bit bad about it because:

1) He shouldn’t have started butting his head into my business to begin with and

2) If he’s even half the qualified shrink everyone says he is, then he should already have figured out I’m not going to pay attention to rules he has no way of enforcing.

He drones on for another five minutes, then just when I think we’re finally about to wrap things up, he sucker punches me. Again.

“Look, Silas… About what Jackie said earlier, about your uncle…”

I grip the phone so hard I’m surprised I don’t crush it. I can’t believe he’s really going to full-circle back to this again. Because hearing him and Jackie hashing out the details behind my “horrible bruises” wasn’t bad enough the first time around.

“Is this true?” he asks in his low, oh-so-soothing voice. “Has he been hitting you?”

“No.” I bite out, jaw clenched and seething, becauseJackie had no right. She had no rightto read my texts, and sure as hell no right to go blabbing her mouth and smearing my personal life across her network of do-gooders. “It was a mis-understanding.”

“A mis-understanding on Jackie’s behalf?” Another pause. “Or do you mean there was a misunderstanding between you and your uncle?”

“Both,” I say.

“I see…”

Which is a lie. He doesn’t. If he did, he would see that I do not. Want to. Go there.

He’s quiet for a bit, like he’s carefully thinking about how to phrase his next sentence. Which, yeah, he better be. And Jackie should, too. They could both stand to learn how to think before they open their damn mouths about something that is not theirs to talk about.

“I’d really like to chat a bit more about that with you.” And then he clarifies: “Not right now, of course.”

Like this makes any of it more palatable.

“But sometime over the next few days, when you have some quiet time alone to talk. I’d like us to have a conversation, if that’s alright… Not to be prying or to judge or anything like that. But just a conversation.”

Why is it they can’t see that asking to talk about my relationship with my uncleisprying? Itisjudging. Because just the fact that Richard knows our interactions may have become physical at times means he’s made ajudgment that action needs to be taken. Conversations need to be had. Feelings need to be analyzed. All of thatisprying.

“Does that sound like a plan?” he prods again. Making it worse by pretending I have some kind of say over the matter. He’s the one cutting me a deal to stay out of Trenton, therefore he’s the one calling the shots.

I decide to test my theory: “No. I’d really rather not talk about it.”

Loaded silence…

And then: “Alright son, I can respect that. I’ll give you some time, then. But at some point, we do need to have a conversation. As I said, just to talk… Even if it’s not about your uncle.”

Yup: the talk is non-negotiable.

What’s negotiable is how we’lllabelthe talk. So, we will call it “a non-specific conversation”, but then half-way into it, Richard will find a connection or some way to transition in to a discussion about my relationship with my aunt and uncle.

It’s the same conversation, only re-labeled and re-formulated.

“Sure. Whatever.”

---