Page 51 of Ties of Shadow

“Then why did you make this light, if not to go back to them?”

“I made it for my manor originally. Luz is not something I like to casually trade or purchase. No onewantsgoods or potions from Death.” He sneered his words. “And candle making is tedious. But I couldn’t figure out the key, couldn’t solve the mystery until…you.” He stalked toward the hall, turning his head for a moment. “Dayspring, I made it foryou.”

He strode forward, shutting the door behind him. A small trail of shadows followed him beneath the doorframe.

My chest heaved as I sat heavily back into my chair. The fondness I initially felt for his kindness in making me a light was pierced through with confusion. Why was he so upset? Wouldn’t anyone want a family? Friends? A place in society? I had spent over a decade trying to find my place. Surely any outcast want the same things. And certainly, the prince wouldn’t continue trying to fulfill the prophecy with my death if I healed the queen. There had to be a place for someone brilliant and powerful like the Shade. If only I could understand.

“Well, I’ve not seen that kind of show this side of the moon.”Jamison snickered from his perch.“He used to glower more appropriately before your ill-fated arrival. Then he was”—the bat shuddered—“smiling all the time. This is better. At least he can see you for who you are.”

“And what am I?” I askedquietly, too wrapped up in emotion to snap back.

“A leech. A life-sucking leech who contributes nothing and takes everything.”He fluttered his sinewy wings.“For all the things shared between you, you’ll never know him, not really. You’ll never understand.”

I peaked a brow. “And you do?”

“I was there from the beginning. I was there when he fled under his father’s wrath and his mother’s cries. I hung from his lapel as he grew into a man. I have been with him as he thrived and faltered. I have had his ear…his thoughts…his friendship for over a decade. I know him.”

“Then you’ll know where he goes to sulk.”

“I would.”

Rising, I strode to the door and opened it wide. “Then you’ll show me.”

“I’ll do no such thing.”

“But you say that I hurt him,” I said. Jamison nodded. “Then wouldn’t you want me to fix my wrongs? Apologize? Stop him from hurting?”

The bat shifted, appearing uncomfortable.

“Isn’t it honorable? Isn’t it right?”

“Fine. But when his shadows sweep you off the parapet, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Always magnanimous, Jamison.”

The bat flew and buffeted my face, sweeping down the hall at a pace that required me to nearly jog to keep up. He ascended a steep staircase, headed down a narrow servants’ passage, and then went up again at the far corner of the manor. The tall tower’s first floor housed a quaint sitting room, full of windows and four hardback chairs. I followed him up another set of stairs, endlessly circling to therooftop above.

The cold night air pricked my cheeks, but the Shade stood there with his hands on the stone, staring off toward the bright tower of the distant castle. The clouds were mild tonight, and the stars showed through, beaming and flickering their delight in the night. The moon was a sliver, hanging low and distant along the horizon.

“The master, as requested by the lady.”

“Thank you, Jamison,” I said, my eyes fixed on the Shade.

“Enjoy the fall.”

He flew away before I could retort. Something about so much rudeness in such a tiny body triggered a confusing blend of rage and mirth. But I turned toward the source of misery inside my own chest. I wondered for a moment at the fact that I wasn’t afraid of the Shade. At some point, he had garnered my trust. And despite his tiny butler’s threats, I knew the Shade wasn’t vindictive. He wouldn’t hurt me. He wasn’t my father. So I stepped beside him, placing my hands over his.

After a moment’s effort, I brushed away every shadowy brick I had created to protect my thoughts and emotions. I didn’t have any magic. I didn’t have strength in my muscles. And I wasn’t particularly good at witty arguments. But I did have myself, and I would have to be enough. I had nothing to hide from him.

Through the touch of our hands, I only heard bits of his thoughts, but his emotions were a tumult of pain and anger and hurt. My eyes prickled in empathy. The shadows clung tightly to him, threading over our hands and up my arm. One seemed to caress my finger, and I lifted it in response.

“I’m sorry.”For everything I said. For not understanding. For hurting you.“I’m here if you want to talk.”

I looked toward the castle and considered my life there. It was one thing to be a loner in a room full of people. Had it been harder or easierfor the Shade to be literally alone here? I thought of Chef and Uncle Koll and ceded to myself that we both had some support.

The Shade intertwined our fingers. “Any loneliness is always hard, Dayspring. I think it’s worse when other people daily betray social rules and expectations. Or even family rules.” His voice was hoarse, like gravel tumbling down a metal roof. He cleared his throat, which only removed a little of the roughness. “I’m sorry I left.”

I nodded, silent, though I knew my thoughts and emotions were unguarded.

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