Page 5 of Ties of Shadow

I laughed with her. My stomach ached from where Father had been startled, and I rubbed it idly. The queen must have sensed my shift of mood.

“You alright, dear?”

Traitorous tears threatened to line my lids, but I waved them off. “Of course I am, Your Majesty.”

“Lying does not become you.”

My smile wavered. I gave her one truth. “I miss my mother.”

Her hand squeezed mine. It would have been weak if not for the force of her gaze. “Mothers are precious, aren’t they? To us mothers, our children are even moreprecious.”

I nodded, then cleared my throat. “Which is why we must restore you to the prince.” Thunder rumbled, and the late evening sunlight from the balcony doors darkened too soon.

“The storms are worsening.” The queen watched the collision of fire and black clouds, her face lined with sadness and worry.

“The Shade is fighting harder than ever. The prince and king lead the nation with light and hope.” I rattled off the common mantra, though it felt odd not to call him the king regent in front of the queen. She’d been sick for so long, and he had led us all that time, so most of us saw him as the king.

She glanced at me with a raised brow. “Certainly, the prince battles on.”

I peered at her odd expression. “If only the Shade would stop, then the land wouldn’t be poisoned by the rain, the prince wouldn’t have to use his fire, and the ground wouldn’t dry out from their demonstrations of power. The herbs you need wouldn’t be so hard to find. The people wouldn’t struggle to keep their gardens growing.”

The queen’s thumb played along my knuckles. “Sometimes we fight things that don’t need fighting. Sometimes, we fear to fight the battles we must. Sometimes we end up fighting ourselves. But that inner worth is so precious, Aelia. So worth protecting.” She sighed. “Discernment is rare but more precious than luz.”

I thought of my father. We fought, but he was my father, and our relationship was important. I ignored a squiggly feeling in my gut.

She continued. “What we must not do, Aelia dear, is lose sight of the light. We mustn’t lose sight of ourselves, of what matters, or of the truth.” Her green eyes brightened as she tried to sit up, locked with mine. “We must not forget to love, but we must also remember that love isn’t always enough.”

I laughed awkwardly and scratched at my dress. “Love is important.”

“Love is most important,” she said as she leaned back into her pillows. “But sometimes people confuse something else for love. Don’t get mixed up.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“I think it’s time you go.” The seer’s crusty voice whipped through the room. “The queen is tired and talking in circles.”

Her Majesty faintly rolled her eyes before she squeezed my hand again. “See you tomorrow after the ball?”

I curtsied after I rose. “Of course.”

Slipping back to my room, a wayward tear slipped out. I loved the queen. I ached for her healing. I glared at the black oil that coated my dress and towels, which were still soaking in the tub. If only the Shade would stop killing her. He was suffocating the land with his black magic and dark violence.

I had seen the shadows in her room the day she fell ill. The king had workers building the tall tower for the new light to go. There had been a thunderstorm, and I was clinging to Chef’s apron in fear. I remembered how the dinner looked funny, and the plates were not as full that week. Leon and I were running through the halls after each other, dodging between the statues and the knights who acted like statues beside the royal suites. We heard the king’s loud bellow and rushed to the open door. Behind it, a swirl of shadows flowed from the queen’s bed toward the window, where the king shouted. The queen had fainted on the floor and had looked as pale as death. Only after running to her and seeing her chest rise did I take a breath myself.

I was only seven, but the images stayed before me as if they had happened yesterday. Since then, my father had raced to modify his tonics to cure the queen, but he only found supportive potions, neverthe one that would save her. Even with my recent suggestions of new herbs, nothing had been curative.

I finished cleaning my clothes and wiping the bathtub of its blackened filth, heaving the towels into the basket to be added to the general laundry in the morning. I didn’t need servants, but they would have been helpful today. I was tired. Soul-dried, marrow-cracking, heart-aching tired.

Surely, hope could return in the morning. Leaving the blinds open to let in the ever-present light from the tower, I settled into my bed, clutched my flickering necklace, and buried myself in my scratchy sheets.

Chapter four

Racerbristles

The nightmares woke me before dawn. Again, I was a child, looking up through a dark tunnel at the screaming seagulls. Shuddering, I tried to brush off the memory and replace it with one of my mother’s touch. I wondered these days how much of her was memory and how much was a fantasy I had created.

I counted it lucky to wake up so early. I could leave to find a new racerbristle bush and return in time for the cursed bonding ball. I meandered to my door and picked up the note tucked under it: the seer’s daily predictions. Today, the storms would be moderate and possibly light. The sun would be bright. Shoes should be put on the left, then right, to receive full blessings. The washers should moisten their skin with oil, and the inferni should meditate this afternoon for twenty minutes to restore their full flames. Blessings upon the bonding couple. Noted. I threw the missive away.

Dressing quickly, I snatched a clean woven basket and eyed my wool cloak before grabbing that too. It was a hot day, but maybe the cloak would protect my finds from whatever magical maelstroms fell today. I hoped to be out of the storms’ reach as I journeyed farther south.

---